Summer seemed to drag on much longer than usual.
Nowhere near as sweltering hot or harsh as ones Bianca remembered from her childhood, though there were a few boiling days here and there. Maybe it was Mother leaving for D.C. that caused time to slip by so slowly. There was only one appeal to summers without her, and it was that Bianca only ever had to muster up the will to go outside once a week. It was a sacrifice, though it cut down on the temptation of hiding herself away in her bedroom, an air-conditioned sanctuary, every day for the next three months.
She supposed it was human fallacy to miss someone. It was life.
It was easier to work with when Mother was here.
"You rat," she watched Maria crack open the ice chest, the ones wasp moms brought to their kids' soccer games, because it was their turn for snack day.
"Hello?" Maria paused in her fishing around the box, fixing Bianca with a quirked brow and pointed look.
"You better share."
"Did you think I brought this whole thing just for me?"
Cherry cola bottles, slippery with ice-water and so freezing they numbed your hands, were passed around the group. Carbonated hissing and twisting caps out of sync were a comfort, and Bianca settled back against the support beam with a heavy, contented sigh.
"God damn," Audrey snickered as Christine pulled eager sips from her bottle, and in turn offered a sharp side-eye.
"Come on- is this cherry coke?" She complained, swallowing with disdain.
"Yes it is," Maria huffed, plucking the bottle from the taller girl's fingers and setting it aside. "And it's delicious."
"You're an actual menace to society."
"A menace to society with popsicles."
That comment afforded Marie several pleased grins and delighted gasps, and Bianca's head tilted back, turning her face to the sun with closed eyes and the ghost of a smile on her own lips. Mother wouldn't return for another three weeks- ample time for squandering and lazing around waiting for autumn to creep in and take over summer's reins. Sweat dotted her hairline, and the discomfort left her sighing and sitting up straighter in time with Julie and Audrey's scoffs.
"Hey," Audrey picked at the plastic wrapping of a popsicle. "Are you still gonna go to that audition?"
"Nah, she's too mousy. Bet Bree'll go though," Maria nudged Bianca's shoulder with a teasing note to her voice.
"Bree's too old for it," Julie countered, swatting at Christine's wandering hand. "Stop, I like the lime ones!"
"So do I!"
"Cry about it," Julie mocked, popping the treat into her mouth, the heat already leaving it melting and dripping bright green lines onto her fingers.
"You're literally an iPad kid. One of the ones with the crusty coughs."
Another sip of liquid sugar was a lovely distraction from their bickering, Maria shaking her head with all the exasperation of a worn-out mother and Audrey's boisterous, familiar laughter leaving Bianca with a warmth in her chest and a widening grin hidden behind her bottle. Though she'd spent quite a few summers alone at that point, having Mother gone felt like forever. She hadn't had this group for long, and there were weeks during the colder months when she felt the tug of yearning in her chest, the sort that could leave one dispirited and aching dully if left uncared for too long. Yet there were still these lazy, summery afternoons, making for hazy memories that occasionally popped in from time to time when she needed them most - often when Mother was tired from her long, faraway trips.
The latest one had taken a toll on Her. Bianca didn't pry too much.
"Are you done, you actual fiend?" Julie sucked her fingers clean of green syrup.
"Yes," Christine's lip curled with disgust. "Marie, any more lime?"
"Sorry."
"This is Christine erasure."
It had only been a few days. Right?
"Actually, it's Julie bias."
Bianca scoffed, louder than she'd intended, and Audrey took this as an invitation to rest her head against the other's shoulder. Her shampoo smelled of watermelon, sweet and potent, like watermelon flavoring rather than the real thing. Bianca could hardly feel the weight of her at all.
"See? Maria clearly likes me more," Julie primped and fluffed at her hair, golden and gleaming as ever.
"I always knew you two were together. You both cheated at Kahoot last year, too."
"You might say we were in... kahoots," Maria grinned, smug.
"You're not funny," Christine rolled her eyes.
"You're being awfully rude to someone you expect to specifically provide you lime popsicles."
"I love you, Maria."
"Thought so."
"Bianca."
"You're all nuts. Grape is where it's at."
"Bianca."
"Do you think I don't know that?"
"Fuck's sake, Bianca."
The wood of the porch step creaked, struck through with age, and Bianca startled, bottle slipping from her fingers and sloshing fizzy drink across the step and her own shoes. Bree stepped back and her grip on Bianca's arm slipped enough to allow some space between the two of them. Blinking up at her sister, bleary and lost, the blood thundering in Bianca's ears dulled the sounds of summer, chirping birds and her friends' voices suddenly far away.
Hollow.
"You're not supposed to be out here alone."
Oh.
"We're gonna be late. And you need to change your shoes."
There was a sudden stiffness in Bianca that stilled all movement. She knelt to the ground, almost wilting, right hand buried in her hair as she shook her head a little. Despite herself, Bree reached out, fingertips brushing at her sister's shoulder. The look on Bianca's face was every bit as apathetic and indecipherable as it had been on the porch just half an hour ago, save a minute twitch in her features, and Bree pulled away with a heavy sigh.
"Mother's in D.C."
"Bianca."
Something broke in Bianca's expression then, crumbling into something like pain and recognition, and she looked up as though she were seeing Bree for the first time at all today. The hand at her head lowered, and when she breathed out her sister's name, her lower lip trembled and tears blurred her vision.
"Bianca..." Bree whispered again, voice thick as she joined her sister in kneeling before the gravestone, tugging her into her arms and her gaze sweeping over the name engraved on its front.
Slowly, carefully, she stroked Bianca's hair, a frantic need in her heart for it to sink in, for something to click so that they might go home and, at the very least, attempt to heal.
To move on.
Her heart sank as Bianca turned her head away, a stone in her gut, though there was the barest glimmer of hope when she felt fingers touching furtively at her wrist. The sisters let out shaky breaths and didn't try to stop the tears as the sun shone on, bathing their weight and pain with golden rays as another summer ambled past.
Nowhere near as sweltering hot or harsh as ones Bianca remembered from her childhood, though there were a few boiling days here and there. Maybe it was Mother leaving for D.C. that caused time to slip by so slowly. There was only one appeal to summers without her, and it was that Bianca only ever had to muster up the will to go outside once a week. It was a sacrifice, though it cut down on the temptation of hiding herself away in her bedroom, an air-conditioned sanctuary, every day for the next three months.
She supposed it was human fallacy to miss someone. It was life.
It was easier to work with when Mother was here.
"You rat," she watched Maria crack open the ice chest, the ones wasp moms brought to their kids' soccer games, because it was their turn for snack day.
"Hello?" Maria paused in her fishing around the box, fixing Bianca with a quirked brow and pointed look.
"You better share."
"Did you think I brought this whole thing just for me?"
Cherry cola bottles, slippery with ice-water and so freezing they numbed your hands, were passed around the group. Carbonated hissing and twisting caps out of sync were a comfort, and Bianca settled back against the support beam with a heavy, contented sigh.
"God damn," Audrey snickered as Christine pulled eager sips from her bottle, and in turn offered a sharp side-eye.
"Come on- is this cherry coke?" She complained, swallowing with disdain.
"Yes it is," Maria huffed, plucking the bottle from the taller girl's fingers and setting it aside. "And it's delicious."
"You're an actual menace to society."
"A menace to society with popsicles."
That comment afforded Marie several pleased grins and delighted gasps, and Bianca's head tilted back, turning her face to the sun with closed eyes and the ghost of a smile on her own lips. Mother wouldn't return for another three weeks- ample time for squandering and lazing around waiting for autumn to creep in and take over summer's reins. Sweat dotted her hairline, and the discomfort left her sighing and sitting up straighter in time with Julie and Audrey's scoffs.
"Hey," Audrey picked at the plastic wrapping of a popsicle. "Are you still gonna go to that audition?"
"Nah, she's too mousy. Bet Bree'll go though," Maria nudged Bianca's shoulder with a teasing note to her voice.
"Bree's too old for it," Julie countered, swatting at Christine's wandering hand. "Stop, I like the lime ones!"
"So do I!"
"Cry about it," Julie mocked, popping the treat into her mouth, the heat already leaving it melting and dripping bright green lines onto her fingers.
"You're literally an iPad kid. One of the ones with the crusty coughs."
Another sip of liquid sugar was a lovely distraction from their bickering, Maria shaking her head with all the exasperation of a worn-out mother and Audrey's boisterous, familiar laughter leaving Bianca with a warmth in her chest and a widening grin hidden behind her bottle. Though she'd spent quite a few summers alone at that point, having Mother gone felt like forever. She hadn't had this group for long, and there were weeks during the colder months when she felt the tug of yearning in her chest, the sort that could leave one dispirited and aching dully if left uncared for too long. Yet there were still these lazy, summery afternoons, making for hazy memories that occasionally popped in from time to time when she needed them most - often when Mother was tired from her long, faraway trips.
The latest one had taken a toll on Her. Bianca didn't pry too much.
"Are you done, you actual fiend?" Julie sucked her fingers clean of green syrup.
"Yes," Christine's lip curled with disgust. "Marie, any more lime?"
"Sorry."
"This is Christine erasure."
It had only been a few days. Right?
"Actually, it's Julie bias."
Bianca scoffed, louder than she'd intended, and Audrey took this as an invitation to rest her head against the other's shoulder. Her shampoo smelled of watermelon, sweet and potent, like watermelon flavoring rather than the real thing. Bianca could hardly feel the weight of her at all.
"See? Maria clearly likes me more," Julie primped and fluffed at her hair, golden and gleaming as ever.
"I always knew you two were together. You both cheated at Kahoot last year, too."
"You might say we were in... kahoots," Maria grinned, smug.
"You're not funny," Christine rolled her eyes.
"You're being awfully rude to someone you expect to specifically provide you lime popsicles."
"I love you, Maria."
"Thought so."
"Bianca."
"You're all nuts. Grape is where it's at."
"Bianca."
"Do you think I don't know that?"
"Fuck's sake, Bianca."
The wood of the porch step creaked, struck through with age, and Bianca startled, bottle slipping from her fingers and sloshing fizzy drink across the step and her own shoes. Bree stepped back and her grip on Bianca's arm slipped enough to allow some space between the two of them. Blinking up at her sister, bleary and lost, the blood thundering in Bianca's ears dulled the sounds of summer, chirping birds and her friends' voices suddenly far away.
Hollow.
"You're not supposed to be out here alone."
Oh.
"We're gonna be late. And you need to change your shoes."
✲
"Sorry we're late," Bree finally managed to speak in a hoarse voice while she watched Bianca from the corner of her eye. The other didn't pause, or give any indication that she'd even registered the words, so Bree cleared her throat to try again. "We had some mishaps."
There was a sudden stiffness in Bianca that stilled all movement. She knelt to the ground, almost wilting, right hand buried in her hair as she shook her head a little. Despite herself, Bree reached out, fingertips brushing at her sister's shoulder. The look on Bianca's face was every bit as apathetic and indecipherable as it had been on the porch just half an hour ago, save a minute twitch in her features, and Bree pulled away with a heavy sigh.
"Mother's in D.C."
"Bianca."
Something broke in Bianca's expression then, crumbling into something like pain and recognition, and she looked up as though she were seeing Bree for the first time at all today. The hand at her head lowered, and when she breathed out her sister's name, her lower lip trembled and tears blurred her vision.
"Bianca..." Bree whispered again, voice thick as she joined her sister in kneeling before the gravestone, tugging her into her arms and her gaze sweeping over the name engraved on its front.
Slowly, carefully, she stroked Bianca's hair, a frantic need in her heart for it to sink in, for something to click so that they might go home and, at the very least, attempt to heal.
To move on.
Her heart sank as Bianca turned her head away, a stone in her gut, though there was the barest glimmer of hope when she felt fingers touching furtively at her wrist. The sisters let out shaky breaths and didn't try to stop the tears as the sun shone on, bathing their weight and pain with golden rays as another summer ambled past.