Darko Cernovsek
Soul Of Vengeance
"Heya all! My name is Pisser In Pants! I'm your boss! And today we're going to the centre of Earth!"
"Hi Pisser. I'm Eater Of Shit, this is my little sis Dumper Queen."
"Hi Pisser!"
"And this nerd here's Black Butt!"
"Hi Pisser!"
"We need more crew for the rocketship! Let's check with the neighbours!"
"Yeah, let's go!"
across the street
"Heeeey! Wanna join my crew? We're going to the centre of the universe!"
"Sure! Let me just ask Mom!"
"Forget about that, she'll think you're crazy! Grownups never get it!"
"Oh ok. What's your name?"
"Pisser In Pants! This is Eater Of Shit, this is Black Butt, and this is Dumper Queen!"
"Nice to meet y'all! I'm Diaper Destroyer!"
"Ok we need one more. Someone to kickstart the rocketship!"
"Lemme ask my retard cousin. I'll be right back!"
"Don't worry just meet us at the launch spot behind the barn!"
behind the barn, near a rickety-looking upturned boat on an old cargo trailer precariously balanced on the edge of a downward slope leading to the edge of a canyon
"This is the rocketship! We need to crucify her!"
"Ehh don't you mean christen?"
"Whatever. C'mon, anyone got a good name?!"
"Big Thing!"
"Laaaame!"
"Candyman!"
"Fuck off Queen! Don't say that twice more or we're all gonna die!"
"Machine?"
"Well duh it's a machine! You don't call a machine Machine, moron!"
"Buttplug!"
"Yeah that works! Love it, Black Butt! Now everyone get aboard! We're about to launch!"
"Who's gonna push us off? Where's Diaper and his retard cousin?"
sixteen and a half seconds later
"Hey, sorry I'm late... c'mon! Uh... guys this is Smartass!"
"What kinda stupid name is that?!"
"I know right? We call him that cuz he's an idiot! Come on say something Smartass!"
"Hello everyone. I gather you intend to travel to where you assume the centre of the Earth would be, aboard this... unstable contraption? You do realise you will all perish as soon as you cross the canyon's threshold, and drop down into the abyss? Given the depth involved, I predict you'll reach terminal velocity before you're even halfway down. At least death will be quick on impact. Are you certain you wish to do this?"
"Huh?! What's he talking about?!"
"Yeah is he always that dumb? Bottom? There's no bottom! It's Earth edge! We'll fly past all big dragons, and get into Earth centre!"
"Don't listen to him he's retarded. C'mon Pisser, let's get going. Smartass here can push us off, he's too dumb to come!"
"Yeah he's weird!"
once everyone is atop of the contraption...
"I implore you to reconsider...!"
"Shut up retard, and get it done! HERE WE GOOO!"
"Yeah you can stay atop of Earth! Loser!
sticking tongues and mocking sounds, as the shaky contraption started rolling down the slope
EPILOGUE:
The mangled bodies of five children were found at the bottom of a canyon, next to scattered pieces of an old boat and a twisted framework of a destroyed trailer bed. The cousin of one of them gave a statement, in which he claimed they made him push them down, after insulting his intelligence. He was lauded as the hero of the town, and a victim of bullying. Eventually he grew up to become town mayor, and renamed the canyon Natural Selection At It's Finest.
THE END
"Hi Pisser. I'm Eater Of Shit, this is my little sis Dumper Queen."
"Hi Pisser!"
"And this nerd here's Black Butt!"
"Hi Pisser!"
"We need more crew for the rocketship! Let's check with the neighbours!"
"Yeah, let's go!"
across the street
"Heeeey! Wanna join my crew? We're going to the centre of the universe!"
"Sure! Let me just ask Mom!"
"Forget about that, she'll think you're crazy! Grownups never get it!"
"Oh ok. What's your name?"
"Pisser In Pants! This is Eater Of Shit, this is Black Butt, and this is Dumper Queen!"
"Nice to meet y'all! I'm Diaper Destroyer!"
"Ok we need one more. Someone to kickstart the rocketship!"
"Lemme ask my retard cousin. I'll be right back!"
"Don't worry just meet us at the launch spot behind the barn!"
behind the barn, near a rickety-looking upturned boat on an old cargo trailer precariously balanced on the edge of a downward slope leading to the edge of a canyon
"This is the rocketship! We need to crucify her!"
"Ehh don't you mean christen?"
"Whatever. C'mon, anyone got a good name?!"
"Big Thing!"
"Laaaame!"
"Candyman!"
"Fuck off Queen! Don't say that twice more or we're all gonna die!"
"Machine?"
"Well duh it's a machine! You don't call a machine Machine, moron!"
"Buttplug!"
"Yeah that works! Love it, Black Butt! Now everyone get aboard! We're about to launch!"
"Who's gonna push us off? Where's Diaper and his retard cousin?"
sixteen and a half seconds later
"Hey, sorry I'm late... c'mon! Uh... guys this is Smartass!"
"What kinda stupid name is that?!"
"I know right? We call him that cuz he's an idiot! Come on say something Smartass!"
"Hello everyone. I gather you intend to travel to where you assume the centre of the Earth would be, aboard this... unstable contraption? You do realise you will all perish as soon as you cross the canyon's threshold, and drop down into the abyss? Given the depth involved, I predict you'll reach terminal velocity before you're even halfway down. At least death will be quick on impact. Are you certain you wish to do this?"
"Huh?! What's he talking about?!"
"Yeah is he always that dumb? Bottom? There's no bottom! It's Earth edge! We'll fly past all big dragons, and get into Earth centre!"
"Don't listen to him he's retarded. C'mon Pisser, let's get going. Smartass here can push us off, he's too dumb to come!"
"Yeah he's weird!"
once everyone is atop of the contraption...
"I implore you to reconsider...!"
"Shut up retard, and get it done! HERE WE GOOO!"
"Yeah you can stay atop of Earth! Loser!
sticking tongues and mocking sounds, as the shaky contraption started rolling down the slope
EPILOGUE:
The mangled bodies of five children were found at the bottom of a canyon, next to scattered pieces of an old boat and a twisted framework of a destroyed trailer bed. The cousin of one of them gave a statement, in which he claimed they made him push them down, after insulting his intelligence. He was lauded as the hero of the town, and a victim of bullying. Eventually he grew up to become town mayor, and renamed the canyon Natural Selection At It's Finest.
THE END