Challenge Submission Because "Uncle Kar" Sounds Awesome! (Complete)

[Eva the Fairytale Maiden]

Location: The Dragonborn country of Tymanther - The City of Aurixzhar - The Delmirev Estate
Aesthetic: Ancient Roman

"In, in, in!" the voice of a small, golden-haired boy commanded in the way that only a pouty five-year old could do so as he stamped his foot on stone floor. His tiny arm outstretched with his short finger rigidly pointed in the directive manner of drill instructor. His little lip upturned into a smile, however, his face alight with eagerness as the two towering adult figures followed him through the kitchen doorway.

Unlike the boy, however, these two adults were quite unlike any beings seen before. Known across Faerunn as Dragonborn. Both possessing flesh of deeply imbedded draconic scales, the male a deep bronzed coloration of antiqued brass, and the female a breath-taking gold which shimmered with her every step. Each of the adults bore a draconic face and snout, lizard-like eyes, the male's quite bright orange, while the female's were a brilliant teal topaz. Indeed, they were as different of creatures in appearance to the boy as any, the only shared feature seemed to be the fact the female dragonborn and the boy possessed the exact same shade of hair.

There was a militant stride to both of them, their footsteps falling into a synchronized marching formation as they strode down the hallway. The golden female, one Kalarys Delmirev by name, leaned her slender sculpted snout towards the squared head of her companion, her unique horns just tapping the boned protective frills around his head. "Do you have any idea what this is about?" she whispered as best she could, knowing the boy Karthonax by now that he could hear them as sharp as an elf... even though he did not possess elven ears.

The large brass dragonborn chuckled, his broad chest rumbling with the depth of the sound as he shook his head. "None in the slightest, my mitne (light)," his sardonyx eyes falling upon the youngster. "Though knowing your ward, I would think it is something meant to be enjoyed." Which coming from Khyber Berron, also known as 'Major Payne in my ass' and "Saergent Stick Up His Ass" among the ranks, was quite surprising to hear. At least for most, Kalarys being one of the lucky exceptions seeing as how they grew up together as best friends, childhood sweethearts, feuding rivals as squires only to circle around as adults and find out they were made for one another.

It was no surprise to many in the city of Aurixzhar where they hailed from when Delmirev Kalarys, heir to the Duxx (Duke) of the Clan had chosen which of her suitors' betrothals she would be accepting. Even though Khyber held no titles, no land, no amassed wealth from his adventures, offered no political benefit other than the fact he was a Paladin (holy knight) within the same Order as she, he was whom she wanted. Her father had given his most enthused blessing, having hoped the man would 'grow the scales' to propose eventually. Though it did surprise everyone she accepted after the man publicly beat her cousin's helmet into a dent and ripped out one of his fangs as a reminder not to insult the lady who would one day be Liege by calling her a whore.

Ah, but those are other stories to be told.

As the two draconic beings, each over six and a half feet with Khyber being a few inches taller due to his reminiscent triceratops frills (what's a triceratops and why does it seem to fit the description here-), passed into the kitchen, the boy Karthonax, or Kar for short, fiendishly giggled. "Surprise!" the boy bounced with his arms up in the air as he stood behind them in the doorway.

Within the stone kitchen, the warm furnace had been lit to exude a great heat that made the fire-breathers shudder in welcome relaxation. Odd, but the vast cooking area to the Delmirev estate was... utterly empty of any cooks or servants. Pristinely clean, however, as one would expect from Dragonborn. The center table held a few ingredients, bowls and utensils, but nothing out of the ordinary. Indeed the oddest thing was for a military estate, it was empty.

Confused, Kalarys looked towards Kar with a tilt of her horns. "It is a very nice surprise, Kar... but what are we doing?"

With a sigh only a child could give, the boy dropped his arms and rushed over towards the table. He could just barely pull himself up with his little sharp elbows to see over the table, pointing everything out. "This! Is everything for you two to make a sweet bun (cake) together!" He proudly beamed up at them. "See! There's a special baking pan and the recipe book and the measuring cups and everything! Mr Syrric even put a spell on the cream and butter cartons to keep it chilled so it wouldn't spoil!"

Indeed, there was a pan, which had once been round or... square perhaps, it was difficult to say, that had been crudely hammered into the rough shape of a heart. "... Did you and Oggiee make that?" Kalarys asked, looking to Khyber whose fingers were running over the front of his snout to try and keep a serious face. The half-ogre barbarian of such low intelligence was... sort of a pet to the boy by this point.

"UH-HUH!" Kar proudly stated, slipping from the table, looking between the two adults. "We wanted to do something nice for you! Since you're married now and Mr Khyber's going away for a while! The baker's wife said they made lots of buns together and it made them very happy!"

Khyber, examining the contents of the table, pulled up what appeared to be a silken blindfold. "... Dare I ask what this is for?" he huffed towards Kalarys with a slight tug to the corner of his maw.

Kar piped up. "That's the blindfold!" Two draconic heads whipped towards the child as he shrugged. "It was Mr Brent's idea! He thought it would make you communicate better! See-" he pointed towards the blindfold. "One of you is blindfolded, the other stands in front with their hands behind their back. The blindfolded person puts their arms through the other person's arms and does all the measuring and stirring while the person without the blindfold tells them what to do and where things are!"

"We are Legionaire Officers in the Order of the Sacred Flame - we communicate well enough without such games-" Khyber spoke, beginning to put the silken tie away with the mental note to strangle that half-elf his beloved called battle-brother from tan to blue... when Kar began to make that face. Big, watery eyes. Large, over pouting lip. Little fists curled up under his chin as he genuinely looked upset.

Any other dragonborn might have been able to resist such a thing. As a Haestatus Centurion (a Lieutenant in the Paladin Order) Khyber should have been able to shrug off the boy's pleading eyes for a useless game. But the one thing which Khyber Berron wanted more than anything (other than marrying Kalarys of course,) was fatherhood. To be a father, and then only the best that a father could be, and a grand husband, was the only true ambition of his life. With a defeated look to Kalarys, the male exhaled deep from his broad chest. "But... it does no harm for a bit of fun to be had."

That shot the boy's mood right up as Kar beamed brightly, practically bouncing on his feet. "YEAH! Supposed to be fun! And messy!" He stood on his tip toes as he pulled down two large white aprons. "So need these!"

With raised brows, the two dragonborn slipped the aprons on, only to bite their tongues as they shared a wordless expression that had Kalarys blushing. The woman was well among the most bountiful in the region of her chest, and the apron did almost nothing to cover the fullness, leaving her chest and long toga dress exposed. Khyber's was no better with his broad expansion, but at least his chest was not prominently rounded out to protrude the cloth so hysterically absurd.

"I think that's everything.... okay, my part is done! Bye-bye!" Kar announced with a little wave, marching away towards the door. Just as the boy began to close the massive thick oak, he piped up once more. "O yeah! You two can't leave until there is a bun in the oven!" With that, he slammed the door shut, a distinct sound of a lock being turned as the doorway shimmered with blue waves. Kalarys gawped at the entrance. "... Did the boy just put a magical lock on that door?"

"... Would honestly not surprise me coming from that boy, my mitne (light)," Khyber spoke as he looked to the ingredients and utensils, sliding the silk band through his fingers. A slight grin crossed his maw as he reached to pull his beloved to him, looping his arms under her chest to hold her close, scaled muzzle pushing away at her rare hair and nuzzling to her exposed neck. A low rumble vibrated his thick chest against her muscled back as he adored her frame. Once, she was called disfigured, known as a hideous gremlin to most of their kin due to a curse bleaching the gold from her scales, tarnishing her in a way that left her unlike another. Khyber never saw the scars. Or rather, he saw past them. Even from the first time he lay eyes on her when they were but small ones no more than Kar's age. He had always thought her the most beautiful creature he had ever seen, then, and now. It only took the better part of a decade for him to tell her how he felt, but she was worth the wait. The fights. The pain. The worry. The failures and successes that led to her. His mitne, his light.

Kalarys felt her face flush, and it wasn't the heat of the kitchen, a soft chuckle coming from her golden muzzle. "I gather you want to be the one taking orders?"

Khyber chuckled into her ear. "As your vassal, I ever await your command, my Duxissa (Duchess)..." his claws gave a caress along her stomach.

He knew exactly how to feed her ego and vanity, making her shiver. "Ever loyal Berron... but, Senior Officers are supposed to be leading the charge from the front~" It was a complicated relationship. On the one hand, they saw each other as equals, treated one another as equals... politically, she was his superior by far as she the heir Duxissa and he but a Knight, BUT... rank wise as they were both paladins within the same Order, he was her Commanding Officer and held rank over her.

Khyber grinned at her banter, his chin leaning to rest upon her shoulder as he pulled close his dearest. "On this occasion I do not mind ... bringing up the rear." He gave a smart pinch of her well-taut backside, causing her to hiss through her teeth, those golden scales flushing a shade or two deeper along her cheekbones as a blue light began to glow beneath the clothing.

"Ixen!" she hissed the sweet endearment of her lover, white smoke coming from between her fanged teeth. Flame. More specifically, her gra'kul ixen... her heart flame. Since she could remember, Kalarys had carried a torch for Khyber Berron. He was there when no one else was. He drove her. Pushed her to become the legend she wanted to be in living up to her father's image. He settled with her hating him if it meant she despised herself a little less. Others scoffed at how a man of his talents in battle could have such little ambition for climbing the ranks when he did so easily. Yet they did not see the guts and glory this man possessed to pursue against all odds the woman who would one day be crowned ruler over all Clan Delmirev's lands. They did not see how he cast aside every order, stole money from their holy paladin order, rode several horses to their deaths and put himself into an over-drugged coma from regeneration potions... all because he was given a wrong message that led him to believe she was with child, his child to be specific.

But again, another story to be told, and not a rather comedic one at that.

Kalarys felt the defined arms of her mate slip away for but a moment, listening to the familiar sound of silk upon scales, (it was one of the few fabrics that did not snag or itch dragonborn hides, remove your minds from the gutter!) the golden woman gave a grin, clasping her left wrist with her right hand behind her back. It wasn't a moment later she found herself pressed snuggly between the edge of the preparation table and Khyber's towering form.

His clawed fingers found the edge of her apron, teasingly rubbing up and down along the inside seam to brush his knuckles against Kalarys' overwhelming chest. She nestled back into Khyber's broadly bronzed chest, shuddering with a soft groan from her throat that sounded akin to a lizard purring. "Tease-" she accused with a slight grin, nuzzling her snout into his cheek.

Khyber rumbled in return, nestling the silken strands of her golden hair, one of the few dragonborn who possessed it, a trait only passed among golds of a pure bloodline. "Hnn... how can you expect me to resist the most beautiful woman in all of our kind? Especially when I must feel to see you-" he added, caressing his knuckles down the curve of her side and up again to cup beneath her breasts in a gentle massage. Among Fire-Breathers - reds, golds, and brass - a large chest was a sought-after trait in a mate; it meant a larger firebreath. There was reason for Kalarys being such a busty lass - Fire-Breathers held two extra lungs in their upper chests, breath-organs, and being cursed as a child with her flame suppressed, Kalarys had exercised them day and night simply to show a huff of smoke.

Again, another story to tell... there are a lot of those.

The hands of her mate had learned her body well, Kalarys almost dropping her rigid composure fully to melt against him
As his elbows created a perfect cradle for her breasts. Whoever said Holy Knights were forbidden to pleasures of flesh and love did not know the constitution of dragonborn. It took a moment for Kalarys to regain her composure as she wriggled against his claws. "If you continue as you are, ixen, we shall never accomplish our task. I fear Karthon and our companions would be most aggrieved if we neglected to finish their surprise."

A grumbling huff snorted from Khyber's large nostrils, a plume of smoke swirling from them before he relented his hands, placing them upon the bowl in front of them. "Hnph. Very well. Though I fully intend to enjoy this time how I see fit." Nuzzling into her neck, he gave a soft nip to her golden scales, knowing her even blind that she would bristle and blush from the act. "What is my first task, mitne?"

Indeed Kalarys' scales rippled and flushed a deeper hue of gold before she snapped her topaz eyes towards the open cookbook. "Give me a moment to read the instructions - ah! No distractions," she chuckled as she began to soak in the information rather quickly. Instructions were orders. To be obeyed to the letter. "First we must use three eggs -"

Herein lay the benefit of intense militant upbringing. Effective communication was an essential part of a prosperous career. "Right hand, 1300hours," she clarified the very angle at which the small bowl of eggs rested. Khyber easily reached and found the bowl on the first try, his fingers scooping up one egg. Gingerly he brought it back to the edge of the mixing bowl, running the shell upon the rim to determine the location before giving a swift crack and squeezing it apart.

Peering into the bowl to look for any shell flakes, Kalarys smirked. She should have known it'd be perfect. "Trash is to your right, 1700 hours," she indicated as Khyber dropped the shell squarely in the middle of the can. He repeated this motion two more times for the eggs before wiping his hands upon a cloth. "Now to whisk these... whisk whisk whisk - ah. Left hand, 0900 hours," she remarked as Khyber's claws reached out to take up perfectly the whisk. Tilting the bowl slightly, his wrist went to speedy work in frothing the eggs. After a minute or so, Kalarys gave a sharp, short grunt, Khyber's hand immediately drawing to a halt. "Perfect. Now to add the sugar."

For the next twenty minutes to a half hour, it went much the same. With militant precision Kalarys would guide her mate's hands to the intended object and ingredient, only being distracted now and then by his sweet nibbles and licks upon her neck and ear (dragonborn did not exactly possess lips in which to engage in the art of human kissing). Not even a pinch of flour was spilt as he scooped from the bag and used his finger to knock any overfill from the measuring cup back into the cannister. Even when the chocolate and butter needed to be melted, Khyber simply held up the copper bowl to the snout of his wife, silvery blue fire exhaled from her lips as she heated it to melt with gentle bubbles. Every so often he would lift the tasting spoon to her maw for her tongue to lap over and ensure the flavor. When at last it came time to pour, the batter was as smooth and buttery in consistency as if a veteran baker had made it. The only moment Khyber removed his blindfold was to place the strange heart-shaped pan into the already heated oven.

A quick wipe down and there wasn't a trace even upon them that they had struggled to communicate or to accomplish the task. In fact to the untrained eye of any not consistently in the kitchens day in and out, it looked completely undisturbed. Looking over the tables, the dragonborn pair glanced towards one another, then to the clean kitchens. "Something does not settle well with me about this," Kalarys spoke, folding her arms under her chest. "I cannot put my fi-"

A sudden splatter of flour landed upon the side of her slender snout and upper chest, Kalarys slowly turning her head as a great predator eyeing up their next prey.

Khyber stood with a slight grin to his face. Ever since his near brush with death in a coma (twice), he had begun to... remove the stick from his ass. Normally he would start beating people to death with it, but his love, his light, was the exception. Though the act of tossing a bit of flour at the Duxissa of Aurixzhar was something they would both expect from the half-blooded knife-ear Brent, her oldest battle companion. "What. Was that?" She asked, fully turning in a challenge approach as Khyber's chest rumbled and simmered with a chuckle.

"Young Kar stated this process should be messy in his words," the brass clarified, a pinch of sugar between his fingers. "If he returns to see it perfectly clean, he will assume we cheated. And make us do it again. While I do not mind hours of being close to you, mitne, he will likely want to... supervise... and I cannot do this to you with the boy around." He tossed the pinch of sugar perfectly into the barest rim of cleavage her dress gave, the white powdered crystals splattering across the apron and her golden scales.

"Berron!!" She seethe, having to bite back her laughter. Whatever had gotten into her mate?

"Delmirev!" He barked back at her with a laugh, only to receive a mouth-ful of flour. Kalarys stood there dusting off her hands, a fistful of white powder having been hurled through the air now snowing down Khyber's scarred face and broad chest. While he coughed out the mouthful of flour, Kalarys grinned wide, fangs displayed as she tilted her horns. She was never one for such antics, but it reminded her of the first time he had taken her to see snow. Their first proper courtship date, ending with a fight of snowballs.

She snorted at his caked appearance before the laughter took hold and she couldn't control it, doubling over as coughs of flour were exhaled in the air with small bursts of flame. "You need an egg with that?" She gasped out amid her laughter.

Kalarys was the only one who could do such and get away with it. The sound of her laughter brought a joy to his heart, a music to his ears to know she was so happy. A growl rippled through his chest as Khyber suddenly launched his bulked body with impressive speed for one his size, his mighty arms grown to the sword and shield scooping up the woman he loved in a partial tackle and placing her muscled rump on the table. "Yes. Yours." he growled shortly. Any non-dragonborn would mistake the sound for aggression, but it was all desire and want vibrating Khyber's throat as he slid a hand across her stomach. His one ambition in life.

The laughter was short lived from the golden female, Kalarys blinking with widened eyes before her lips curled into a hithered smile. "Well... I can think of no better way of making a mess," she returned the growl in his ear, nibbling at his frills in deep affection. Defined, muscled legs wrapped around his hips to pull him in, Khyber's fingers already blindly finding the clasp on her shoulder holding up her dress as his muzzle was buried to her neck. As the fabric slid down, Khyber hiking up her skirts, she went to remove the apron, only to be stopped by the grinning man. "Leave the apron."

The kitchen shook for nearly an hour. No, literally, the foundation shook. Dragonborn are infamous for maintaining consistution and their great strength, add to the fact both Kalarys and Khyber were paladins who could regenerate their energy four times a day each, well. This was considered for the them a "quickie". By the time their wants were sated well enough to hold a clear head, the kitchens were positively... not destroyed, the furnishing were mostly in tact, but it would take a whole lot of scrubbing or prestadigitation from a warlock to clean it.

Khyber was leaning against the wall in a chair, Kalarys' figure straddling his lap and laying contently against him. The two covered in baking ingredients, Kalarys' back rolled over on an egg at some point, though neither cared. His claws played with her hair, eyes closed before excited voices were heard outside the locked door. "C'mooooooon! They have to be done by now!!" they could hear Kar's excited voice the most clearly, chuckles from their companions soon following.

In swift motions, Kalarys buckled her clasp and pulled down her dress, Khyber fixing his belt and toga before taking up a rag to wipe the egg off Kalarys' shoulder as the two began the tender process of cleaning each other up of the various messes. The blue glow upon the door faded, the sound of the lock turning as the little blond boy didn't give a moment before bursting in. "Did you do it?! Is the bun in the oven?!" He asked excitedly, running over to the oven to look into the window.

Neither could answer over the squeal of happiness the boy gave as the group entered. A noble looking half elf of tanned skin and striking blonde hair with icy blue eyes, short for one of his kind as he gazed around the room. "Great Mystra what battle happened here-" the warlock exclaimed.

Right on his heels bounding into the room, a spotted golden cat walking on two feet and dressed as if he were from the tales of Arabian Nights, looked over the pair with large green eyes. A slight twitch of his nose to the scent in the air and the small creature smirked. "Nature being having lots funtimes this daymorning, Brent-friend," Syrric spoke in his broken common, it was his fifth language, understandable it would not be fluent.

Sardonyx eyes gave a fiery glare towards Syrric as Khyber gave a warning growl to the cat not to embarrass them. Kalarys set a hand on his shoulder, maw opening just as a great ginger behemoth with an overgrown beard, bearing metal armor with a chefs hat in his headband and an apron over his adamantly, burst through the doors, barely squeezing through, with an exasperated bellow. "WHATS DID YE DO TA MA COOKIN' PLACE?!" Frantic eyes looked over the dragonborn. "Da secrets of deep magicks all ovah da place! You's is gonna clean dis up! And gets more secrets and spices! And- oh!" His nose twitched. "I smells cake-"

Kar, who was eagerly looking into the oven, smacked the half-ogre's hand away from the door. "No, Oggiee! That bun is Kalarys and Khybers! We made one yesterday!" From his pocket the boy pulled a piece of sweet meat to placate the grumbling giant. "I'm was just making sures it's not gonna burn!"

"Ooooh! Good thinking Oggiee! They wouldn't want a burnt bun! Want a nice golden bun!" He jumped down from his little stool... and began to look all over the kitchen. The adults watched him in confused fascination for a few moments before Kalarys finally spoke up. "Kar... what are you doing?"

"Im looking for your baby!" Came the cheerful exclaim.

To which every head double took and every mouth had the same word. "(My) (Their) What?!"

Kar stood in the middle of the kitchen, having pulled a lid bigger than him off of a massive cauldron to look inside, confusion in those big blue eyes. "The... baby..." he pointed to Khyber. "He put a bun in her oven!" He pointed then to the cake still baking over the low heat. "That's how babies are made! The Baker's wife she said she had another bun in the oven and her friend was happy she had another baby on the way!! I wanted to make more pans to put more buns, but thought one was okay for now!"

Every adult blinked, eyes darting swiftly back and forth among one another in panicked silence. Before Kalarys slowly spoke, her scales flushed to the massive grin on Khyber's face. "Kar... why are you so concerned of us having a baby?"

"Because Uncle Kar sounds AWESOME!" The boy enthusiastically replied. Syrric facepalmed into his paw, Brent had to clasp a hand over his lips to stifle a laugh, but Oggiee only nodded. "Dat does sound good."

Kar nodded vigorously, small round face beaming with his fists clenched in excitement. "Mhm!! And since Mr Khyber is leaving for a long time to be the political ambassador of Clan Delmirev for Phandalin, and rebuilding Cragmaw castle's lands into a lumber town as a Baron to Mr Brent, and big sis is now the Duxissa, you're not going to have time to bake buns together, so I thought it was a good idea you make the bun now before Mr Khyber leaves!"

At a loss for words, the group stared at the boy before Khyber let loose a rather fatherly chuckle, patting the boy on his golden head. "Smart lad for someone only this many," he held up five splayed fingers with a grin. Everyone knew the secret to Kar.

"Yes!" The boy exclaimed. "So! Where's the baby? I want to start being called Uncle Kar!"

For a boy so smart... he was certainly ignorant. Khyber chuckled again, wrapping an arm around Kalarys' waist. "Well you know how dragons hatch from eggs? So do dragonborn. Have to wait for the egg to show up first, then the whelp will hatch. Wont be here for about... six months give or take a couple weeks-" a sly glance to his wife almost had him break into uproarous laughter, but he held his composure, not wanting the boy to press for more questions.

"Aaawww..." Kar pouted, folding his arms, but nodding in understanding. Then he blinked with a thought. "Is that why eggs are used in making buns?"

No one could retain their composure any longer. Once one snorted, unclear as to whom, the adults were soon roaring with laughter, Kalarys picking Kar up to nuzzle the boy. "Oh, you are precious-"

"Whatd I say?! Why everyone laugh?!" He demanded, chest puffing out in the same vain manner as Kalarys.

"Because we are dummies who didn't put together why you need eggs in a bun," Brent quicjly interjected, Syrric rolling on the floor as the five year old puffed out his chest in pride.

"See! This is why you need me! Why the babies will need Uncle Kar to teach them! I'm papa's prodigy!" He exclaimed, hugging around Kalarys' neck tightly. She nestled the whelp against her almost motherly, drawing a rumbling purr from Khyber at the sight, before she sat the boy down. "Now. Is Uncle Kar going to help clean up?"

"Hmm.... that depends... did you have fun making the bun?" Kar peered at the mussed up couple, Khyber coughing into his fist before clearing his throat, the barest most invisible grin on his draconic features. "Yes, yes we did."

"Good. Then I help! Because Uncle Kar is awesome!"