- Local time
- Today 3:54 PM
- Messages
- 916
- Pronouns
- he/his
"Greetings, compatibly gendered target of my affections," the squat, rotund green humanoid with four sets of eyes and four sets of arms said in a practiced tone. They smiled in a way that could only be described as 'winning.' "Let us speak to each other in doting ways like humans did in the twenty-first century."
"Oh, the accuracy of your lexicon impresses me and also clearly reveals your intent!" squeaked a very big, muscular creature with half as many arms and eyes as their apparent paramour. The creature could probably be described as 'humanoid' in the general shape of its body and arrangement of limbs, but the length of its torso and the way its spine moved like a snake might cause the term to be misleading. However, its red skin and substantial mass very clearly broadcast a sexual dimorphism that made it abundantly clear that they were, in fact, a compatible gender for the green humanoid.
"I would like to present you with an item in order to express my immense admiration for you now, so please place your manipulator appendages over your sensory organs," the green humanoid said happily.
"My sensory organs!?" the red creature squealed in a delighted way, placing their hands over their very large nose.
"No, your visual sensory organs," the green humanoid chirped.
Blushing purple, the red creature shifted their hands over their eyes. "I have temporarily obscured my ability to see all spectrums of light."
The green humanoid tapped on a console on the wall, and one of Saturn's many moons appeared on a viewscreen. "Remove your manipulator appendages from over your visual sensory organs, please."
Obliging slowly and shyly, the red creature blinked their tiny, beady eyes at the viewscreen. "Why are you showing me this live feed of Mimas?"
"Because I have received approval to exercise sovereign control over its surface and all mineral rights sixty miles below the surface, and now I am relinquishing control of these rights to you," the green humanoid cooed cutely.
The red creature gasped. "You are relinquishing sovereign rights of this moon to me?"
"Yes, it is indicative of great admiration and a desire to gain and keep your affection for a minimum of one solar rotation at a distance of 9.5 astronomical units," the green humanoid said proudly.
"But what about Interstellar Treaty 9B?" the red creature squealed, clearly as scandalized as thrilled.
"Interstellar Treaty 9B cannot prevail against the combined emotional forces of our mutual affection," the green humanoid replied smugly. "And I have also set aside a sufficient number of monetary units to pay the requisite fines to show you that I am a good provider. I would like to ask you to cohabitate with me until the inevitable heat death of the universe."
"I agree to cohabitate with you until the inevitable heat death of the universe," the red creature replied happily, clasping their hands together and blinking their eyes many times at the green humanoid. "Through periods of abnormal and normal vital signs, through states of net worth in exceedance of the galactic mean and through states below."
"You have made me the happiest life form in temporal space," the green humanoid beamed. "Let us officiate this mutual long term agreement to share oxygen molecules and body heat by with a formal practice known as osculation."
"The forbidden practice of placing the orifices by which we speak and eat over each other!?" the red creature squealed.
"Do not be concerned over the transfer of bacterium that can occur," the green humanoid said smugly. "I have recently ingested a small piece of candy and now my food-and-speech orifice is pleasantly astringent. The practice of osculation is designed to show the other that you value their proximity to your corpus to a sufficient level that you are willing to sacrifice your ability to speak and eat for an undisclosed and arbitrary period of time during which the glands in your brain release rare chemicals."
"I approve of your pleasantly astringent candy," the red creature squeaked, and initiated osculation with the green humanoid.
And they lived happily until the inevitable heat death of the universe.
"Oh, the accuracy of your lexicon impresses me and also clearly reveals your intent!" squeaked a very big, muscular creature with half as many arms and eyes as their apparent paramour. The creature could probably be described as 'humanoid' in the general shape of its body and arrangement of limbs, but the length of its torso and the way its spine moved like a snake might cause the term to be misleading. However, its red skin and substantial mass very clearly broadcast a sexual dimorphism that made it abundantly clear that they were, in fact, a compatible gender for the green humanoid.
"I would like to present you with an item in order to express my immense admiration for you now, so please place your manipulator appendages over your sensory organs," the green humanoid said happily.
"My sensory organs!?" the red creature squealed in a delighted way, placing their hands over their very large nose.
"No, your visual sensory organs," the green humanoid chirped.
Blushing purple, the red creature shifted their hands over their eyes. "I have temporarily obscured my ability to see all spectrums of light."
The green humanoid tapped on a console on the wall, and one of Saturn's many moons appeared on a viewscreen. "Remove your manipulator appendages from over your visual sensory organs, please."
Obliging slowly and shyly, the red creature blinked their tiny, beady eyes at the viewscreen. "Why are you showing me this live feed of Mimas?"
"Because I have received approval to exercise sovereign control over its surface and all mineral rights sixty miles below the surface, and now I am relinquishing control of these rights to you," the green humanoid cooed cutely.
The red creature gasped. "You are relinquishing sovereign rights of this moon to me?"
"Yes, it is indicative of great admiration and a desire to gain and keep your affection for a minimum of one solar rotation at a distance of 9.5 astronomical units," the green humanoid said proudly.
"But what about Interstellar Treaty 9B?" the red creature squealed, clearly as scandalized as thrilled.
"Interstellar Treaty 9B cannot prevail against the combined emotional forces of our mutual affection," the green humanoid replied smugly. "And I have also set aside a sufficient number of monetary units to pay the requisite fines to show you that I am a good provider. I would like to ask you to cohabitate with me until the inevitable heat death of the universe."
"I agree to cohabitate with you until the inevitable heat death of the universe," the red creature replied happily, clasping their hands together and blinking their eyes many times at the green humanoid. "Through periods of abnormal and normal vital signs, through states of net worth in exceedance of the galactic mean and through states below."
"You have made me the happiest life form in temporal space," the green humanoid beamed. "Let us officiate this mutual long term agreement to share oxygen molecules and body heat by with a formal practice known as osculation."
"The forbidden practice of placing the orifices by which we speak and eat over each other!?" the red creature squealed.
"Do not be concerned over the transfer of bacterium that can occur," the green humanoid said smugly. "I have recently ingested a small piece of candy and now my food-and-speech orifice is pleasantly astringent. The practice of osculation is designed to show the other that you value their proximity to your corpus to a sufficient level that you are willing to sacrifice your ability to speak and eat for an undisclosed and arbitrary period of time during which the glands in your brain release rare chemicals."
"I approve of your pleasantly astringent candy," the red creature squeaked, and initiated osculation with the green humanoid.
And they lived happily until the inevitable heat death of the universe.