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- 701
"Gran'pa, how'd you and Gran'ma meet?"
Tim sighed contentedly as he eased himself down into his favorite armchair, gesturing with both hands for his grandchildren to come closer, which they did earnestly.
"Ahhh, great question Mya... I never told yall that one?... Welp, gather round kids, I'll tell y'all a tale about how your ole granddad here finally nabbed your grandma… Believe it or not, it all started with a rumor…"
Tim's eyes took on a far off look as he recalled the memory…
"It was a balmy day in the middle of September, and the bell for homeroom had just rung.
I was sitting in my usual seat, second to last in the row nearest the window, listening to the principal- Mr. Belding, list off the morning announcements over the loud speaker. The entire classroom started to buzz excitedly as he finished the last announcement- alerting us there would be a Sock Hop dance at the school that weekend, and signed off. I knew immediately who I wanted to ask.
Of course, your grandmother was late to homeroom that morning, and had just walked in. I remember it like it was yesterday... She was wearing a yellow halter top, the tightest mini skirt, and a sick pair of checkered Vans... Mm-mmm, she was lookin good!"
Tim sighed dreamily and the children around him erupted into a fit of giggles.
"Why're yall laughin?! Your grandma was a real catch! Hell, she still is." Tim chanced a wink at his wife who was sitting, listening, on a small love seat nearby, which sent the children into another tizzy. "Yall are so silly…" Tim rolled his eyes playfully and launched back into story mode.
"Ok, so anyways- all filled up full with Sock Hop hope, I lean over and whisper to my best friend, Buddy, "I'd love to take Cindy to the Sock Hop. She's the finest girl in the whole school! I think I'm going to ask her today… Maybe at lunch time… All I know is I need to move fast, before anyone else asks her!"
Little did I know, Priscilla Prince, a nosy, loud mouth cheerleader was eavesdropping. Not only that, but she'd misheard what I'd said, and after attendance was taken, and homeroom was dismissed, so began the best, life changing game of Telephone ever- rumors edition.
Free from the confines of homeroom, Priscilla saddled up to one of her best girl friends (and the cheerleading co-captain) Daphne Dickens in the hallway and complained.
"Ugh! Tim Thompson told Buddy he thinks Lindy is the finest girl in the whole school and he's going to ask her to the Sock Hop today at lunch. He said he wants to move fast, before anyone else can get on her ass. Can you believe that?! Mr. Belding just made the announcement this morning… I only wish Richie Rich might finally notice me and do something so romantic!"
Daphne and Priscilla shared a few more woes and then split off in separate directions because they had different first period classes.
Daphne's first period was Biology, with Mr. Miller. Brody West, a popular jock, was her lab partner. Daphne and Brody both had Mrs. Stevens for sixth period, and Daphne frequently let Brody copy the answers from the homework that had been assigned the night before. Today proved to be no exception, save for an extra tidbit of information Daphne had to share.
"Ohmygawd Brody, guess what? Tim Thompson thinks Lindy Moore is the finest girl in school. He's going to take her to the Sock Hop.. or well, he hasn't asked her yet, but he will. At lunch today. He said he's gunna move lightning fast to get on that ass…" Daphne prattled on and Brody nodded along, half- listening as he furiously copied answers.
Second period ended, and there were just two more classes until it would finally be lunch time, and I'd get my chance...
Then, in the middle of third period, Brody excused himself to go to the bathroom. There he found three of his teammates already waiting for him. They quickly dapped one another up and slipped off toward the stadiums.
Beneath the bleachers, Richard Richards, or Richie Rich as he was more aptly called, rolled up a lil flower while the rest of the group horse played.
"Yo! Yall won't ever guess the absolute nonsense Daphne Dickens just told me in biology…" Brody prompted with a chuckle.
"What??.. What?!" The other two boys- Lucas and Zachary, egged him on.
"She said, Priscilla told her, that Tim Thompson wants to take Lindy to the Sock Hop. She even said he'd gone so far as to say she's the flyest girl here at Hillview High."
The other boys started to scoff and shake their heads, immediately offering names of girls they found more attractive.
"Hey now, hey now- I didn't say I agreed, I'm just telling yall what she said he said!" Brody replied with playful defensiveness, still chuckling as he added, "Daphne even said Tim's going to ask Lindy at lunch cause she's got the fattest ass?… or, I dunno- somethin like that.." He shrugged dismissively as he struggled to recall the last few sentences of Daphne's ramblings, taking a long drag of the cigarette Richie had just passed to him.
The boys finished the J off and then each filed back to their respective first period classes.
They wouldn't settle in their seats for more than a few minutes before the bell would dismiss the senior class to their fourth period.
Richie Rich jumped out of his seat to escort his current interest, Cindy Moore, to their next class. On the way, he thought he might impress her.
"You'll never guess what Tim Thompson said about Lindy…"
Cindy quirked a brow.
"He said she's the flyest girl at this school just cause she's got the fattest ass!" Richie's head shook from side to side incredulously. "Some guys, huh?! I heard he's going to ask her to be his date to the Sock Hop this weekend at lunch."
Cindy sucked her teeth, and then peppered Richie with questions, her tone heavy with disbelief.
"When Tim said that? This morning? … Are you sure he said that?"
Richie nodded eagerly and assured her they could even confirm it with more than one classmate later.
Sure enough, after fourth period, Cindy and Richie Rich caught up with Lucas and Zachary in the hall on their way to the cafeteria.
"Mannn, tell Cindy what Brody told us outside earlier today…"
Lucas glanced at Richie for a signal, and after receiving a nod, he quickly offered an honest answer.
"Brody said, Daphne said, Priscilla said, that Tim said Lindy's ass is suuuper fat and that he like that, so, he's going to ask her out to the Sock Hop today at lunch."
Zachary nodded along, offering a single "Yup" aloud as secondary confirmation.
Cindy, visibly flustered, hurriedly excused herself from the group of males and rushed to find Lindy. She found Lindy in the cafeteria line, waiting to receive a tray, and quickly relayed the messages she'd heard from Richie Rich that were then confirmed by Luke and Zach. Lindy's cheeks had colored with a light blush upon hearing the back handed compliments, but Cindy managed to convince her she needed to come over and tell me speaking of her in that way would not stand and that she wasn't interested in going to any dance with such a pig of a man.
So the two girls start across the lunchroom, Cindy with arms crossed over her chest, unimpressed, while Lindy sort of lagged a step behind, seemingly far less offended. They stopped a step away from the table where I was already eating. When Lindy hesitated, your grandma spoke up.
She said, "what the hell, Tim?! You think you can just go around calling Lindy's ass suuuper fat all day and it wouldn't get back to her?"
Tim paused and came back to the room, chuckling softly as his head shook from one side to the other and he met each child's eye.
"Now mind you kids, I was hoping to ask your grandmother out all along- so her stomping up and confronting me for talking about her twin sister's butt had thrown me for a real loop de loop, so I put my hands up in surrender like this" Tim held up both palms in display, "and said, 'The fu- I mean, uhhh- What you talkin about Cindy?! No! Im not interested in Lindy…' And then, because I saw the confusion on your grandma's face, I took my chance! I jumped up from my chair, grabbed her hands and said, "Don't be ridiculous. Ain't nobody talkin about Lindy, it's your super phat ass I'm interested in getting to know better Cindy… and well, that was that! She ain't been able to get enough of me since…" A smile so wide it crinkled up the corner's of his eyes had found its way onto Tim's face. He nudged one of the boys with his shoulder, "Just had to hit Grandma with some of that… ohh, whaddya kids call it these days? Ritz?"
Tim sent another playful wink in his wife's direction as the younger children fell away from his knees into another fit of laughter, many of them shrieking between giggles, "It's rizz, Gran'pa!!"
Mya, one of the elder grandchildren, tilted her head to look up at her grandmother, whom she was leaned up next to on the love seat.
"Is that true Gram'ma? You believed the rumor too, and you were mad at Gran'pa cause you thought he was interested in gran'aunt Lindy?"
"Ohhh sweetie, who knows… That happened so long ago, has to be nearly sixty years now… and I swear, I think 'the rumor' changes each time gran'pa tells that story... You know how he likes his embellishments; you gotta take everything that man says with a grain of salt.." The elderly woman answered sweetly, pinching the preteen's cheeks to illicit laughter and conveniently distract Mya from the amused smirk turning up the corner of her wrinkled lips.
Tim sighed contentedly as he eased himself down into his favorite armchair, gesturing with both hands for his grandchildren to come closer, which they did earnestly.
"Ahhh, great question Mya... I never told yall that one?... Welp, gather round kids, I'll tell y'all a tale about how your ole granddad here finally nabbed your grandma… Believe it or not, it all started with a rumor…"
Tim's eyes took on a far off look as he recalled the memory…
"It was a balmy day in the middle of September, and the bell for homeroom had just rung.
I was sitting in my usual seat, second to last in the row nearest the window, listening to the principal- Mr. Belding, list off the morning announcements over the loud speaker. The entire classroom started to buzz excitedly as he finished the last announcement- alerting us there would be a Sock Hop dance at the school that weekend, and signed off. I knew immediately who I wanted to ask.
Of course, your grandmother was late to homeroom that morning, and had just walked in. I remember it like it was yesterday... She was wearing a yellow halter top, the tightest mini skirt, and a sick pair of checkered Vans... Mm-mmm, she was lookin good!"
Tim sighed dreamily and the children around him erupted into a fit of giggles.
"Why're yall laughin?! Your grandma was a real catch! Hell, she still is." Tim chanced a wink at his wife who was sitting, listening, on a small love seat nearby, which sent the children into another tizzy. "Yall are so silly…" Tim rolled his eyes playfully and launched back into story mode.
"Ok, so anyways- all filled up full with Sock Hop hope, I lean over and whisper to my best friend, Buddy, "I'd love to take Cindy to the Sock Hop. She's the finest girl in the whole school! I think I'm going to ask her today… Maybe at lunch time… All I know is I need to move fast, before anyone else asks her!"
Little did I know, Priscilla Prince, a nosy, loud mouth cheerleader was eavesdropping. Not only that, but she'd misheard what I'd said, and after attendance was taken, and homeroom was dismissed, so began the best, life changing game of Telephone ever- rumors edition.
Free from the confines of homeroom, Priscilla saddled up to one of her best girl friends (and the cheerleading co-captain) Daphne Dickens in the hallway and complained.
"Ugh! Tim Thompson told Buddy he thinks Lindy is the finest girl in the whole school and he's going to ask her to the Sock Hop today at lunch. He said he wants to move fast, before anyone else can get on her ass. Can you believe that?! Mr. Belding just made the announcement this morning… I only wish Richie Rich might finally notice me and do something so romantic!"
Daphne and Priscilla shared a few more woes and then split off in separate directions because they had different first period classes.
Daphne's first period was Biology, with Mr. Miller. Brody West, a popular jock, was her lab partner. Daphne and Brody both had Mrs. Stevens for sixth period, and Daphne frequently let Brody copy the answers from the homework that had been assigned the night before. Today proved to be no exception, save for an extra tidbit of information Daphne had to share.
"Ohmygawd Brody, guess what? Tim Thompson thinks Lindy Moore is the finest girl in school. He's going to take her to the Sock Hop.. or well, he hasn't asked her yet, but he will. At lunch today. He said he's gunna move lightning fast to get on that ass…" Daphne prattled on and Brody nodded along, half- listening as he furiously copied answers.
Second period ended, and there were just two more classes until it would finally be lunch time, and I'd get my chance...
Then, in the middle of third period, Brody excused himself to go to the bathroom. There he found three of his teammates already waiting for him. They quickly dapped one another up and slipped off toward the stadiums.
Beneath the bleachers, Richard Richards, or Richie Rich as he was more aptly called, rolled up a lil flower while the rest of the group horse played.
"Yo! Yall won't ever guess the absolute nonsense Daphne Dickens just told me in biology…" Brody prompted with a chuckle.
"What??.. What?!" The other two boys- Lucas and Zachary, egged him on.
"She said, Priscilla told her, that Tim Thompson wants to take Lindy to the Sock Hop. She even said he'd gone so far as to say she's the flyest girl here at Hillview High."
The other boys started to scoff and shake their heads, immediately offering names of girls they found more attractive.
"Hey now, hey now- I didn't say I agreed, I'm just telling yall what she said he said!" Brody replied with playful defensiveness, still chuckling as he added, "Daphne even said Tim's going to ask Lindy at lunch cause she's got the fattest ass?… or, I dunno- somethin like that.." He shrugged dismissively as he struggled to recall the last few sentences of Daphne's ramblings, taking a long drag of the cigarette Richie had just passed to him.
The boys finished the J off and then each filed back to their respective first period classes.
They wouldn't settle in their seats for more than a few minutes before the bell would dismiss the senior class to their fourth period.
Richie Rich jumped out of his seat to escort his current interest, Cindy Moore, to their next class. On the way, he thought he might impress her.
"You'll never guess what Tim Thompson said about Lindy…"
Cindy quirked a brow.
"He said she's the flyest girl at this school just cause she's got the fattest ass!" Richie's head shook from side to side incredulously. "Some guys, huh?! I heard he's going to ask her to be his date to the Sock Hop this weekend at lunch."
Cindy sucked her teeth, and then peppered Richie with questions, her tone heavy with disbelief.
"When Tim said that? This morning? … Are you sure he said that?"
Richie nodded eagerly and assured her they could even confirm it with more than one classmate later.
Sure enough, after fourth period, Cindy and Richie Rich caught up with Lucas and Zachary in the hall on their way to the cafeteria.
"Mannn, tell Cindy what Brody told us outside earlier today…"
Lucas glanced at Richie for a signal, and after receiving a nod, he quickly offered an honest answer.
"Brody said, Daphne said, Priscilla said, that Tim said Lindy's ass is suuuper fat and that he like that, so, he's going to ask her out to the Sock Hop today at lunch."
Zachary nodded along, offering a single "Yup" aloud as secondary confirmation.
Cindy, visibly flustered, hurriedly excused herself from the group of males and rushed to find Lindy. She found Lindy in the cafeteria line, waiting to receive a tray, and quickly relayed the messages she'd heard from Richie Rich that were then confirmed by Luke and Zach. Lindy's cheeks had colored with a light blush upon hearing the back handed compliments, but Cindy managed to convince her she needed to come over and tell me speaking of her in that way would not stand and that she wasn't interested in going to any dance with such a pig of a man.
So the two girls start across the lunchroom, Cindy with arms crossed over her chest, unimpressed, while Lindy sort of lagged a step behind, seemingly far less offended. They stopped a step away from the table where I was already eating. When Lindy hesitated, your grandma spoke up.
She said, "what the hell, Tim?! You think you can just go around calling Lindy's ass suuuper fat all day and it wouldn't get back to her?"
Tim paused and came back to the room, chuckling softly as his head shook from one side to the other and he met each child's eye.
"Now mind you kids, I was hoping to ask your grandmother out all along- so her stomping up and confronting me for talking about her twin sister's butt had thrown me for a real loop de loop, so I put my hands up in surrender like this" Tim held up both palms in display, "and said, 'The fu- I mean, uhhh- What you talkin about Cindy?! No! Im not interested in Lindy…' And then, because I saw the confusion on your grandma's face, I took my chance! I jumped up from my chair, grabbed her hands and said, "Don't be ridiculous. Ain't nobody talkin about Lindy, it's your super phat ass I'm interested in getting to know better Cindy… and well, that was that! She ain't been able to get enough of me since…" A smile so wide it crinkled up the corner's of his eyes had found its way onto Tim's face. He nudged one of the boys with his shoulder, "Just had to hit Grandma with some of that… ohh, whaddya kids call it these days? Ritz?"
Tim sent another playful wink in his wife's direction as the younger children fell away from his knees into another fit of laughter, many of them shrieking between giggles, "It's rizz, Gran'pa!!"
Mya, one of the elder grandchildren, tilted her head to look up at her grandmother, whom she was leaned up next to on the love seat.
"Is that true Gram'ma? You believed the rumor too, and you were mad at Gran'pa cause you thought he was interested in gran'aunt Lindy?"
"Ohhh sweetie, who knows… That happened so long ago, has to be nearly sixty years now… and I swear, I think 'the rumor' changes each time gran'pa tells that story... You know how he likes his embellishments; you gotta take everything that man says with a grain of salt.." The elderly woman answered sweetly, pinching the preteen's cheeks to illicit laughter and conveniently distract Mya from the amused smirk turning up the corner of her wrinkled lips.