Here's another entry I wrote for a different campaign. This one is from a Star Wars campaign. My character is a 17-year-old Mirialan (for anyone who knows Star Wars, to give you a bit more depth and placement; this part of her story takes place a few years ABY) and this is written from her perspective, looking back on her childhood. Again, I can post more if people want to read more.
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If you had asked five year-old me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I probably would have told you I wanted to be a pilot. Obviously, that much hasn't changed. If you'd asked me how I would become a pilot, I probably would have launched into this nonsensical story about how I would steal a ship from the Empire in the dead of night and fly around the galaxy, visiting home in secret and never getting caught. I would bring my family all sorts of trinkets and equipment, and with my help, we would break Mirial free of the Empire's grasp all by ourselves.
Kids really have no concept of scale. Or war. Everything is a game to them, even revolution. I guess that means my parents did a pretty good job of sheltering me from the horrors of reality. The day the Empire showed up on our doorstep, that innocent world of Reeshi the Super Pilot and The Kashoums Save the Day… it all shattered into a million pieces.
I was seven years old when the Empire arrived. Aasha and I were playing a board game at the kitchen table while my parents were down in the bunker, transmitting on the radio, as usual. They were signal jackers – they'd hijack local Imperial transmissions and broadcast messages of resistance and truth over the top. Their bunker was a cluttered mess of transmitters, signal scramblers, voice modulators, and various other machines I never got the chance to learn about. Oh, and there was Biz. Biz was… Well, I don't think he really had a formal designation of any sort. He was a droid my parents cobbled together to run calculations fast enough to keep their signal secure and untraceable. They had let Aasha name him when he was really little, so the droid ended up named after the buzzing sound he made.
So anyway, typical afternoon at the Kashoum household: kids playing upstairs, parents downstairs doing their part to incite an uprising. Aasha got up to pour a glass of juice. There was a knock at the door. He answered.
I could see the glimmer of white plasteel in the open crack of the doorway.
"Are your parents home?" the stormtrooper asked.
"No, they went into town for a few hours," Aasha lied.
"We are under orders to search this house. Please stand aside."
"My mom said not to let strangers in." Aasha attempted to close the door.
The stormtrooper shoved the door back open with far more force than one needed to counter a fourteen year old boy. He marched through the front door, followed by two others, and began to search the house.
"You can't just walk in here like that!" Aasha protested. By now, I was in tears. He had positioned himself between the stormtroopers and me and was squeezing my hand tightly. I watched from behind his arm.
The first trooper turned and adjusted his blaster slightly, enough to make the threat clear. "We are have our orders. If you do not interfere and there is nothing to hide—"
A loud hollow thumping sound came from the other room as the hatch down to the bunker was thrown open.
"Sir!" one of the other troopers shouted, "I've found the traitors!"
"NO!" I screamed, almost falling out of the chair to throw myself toward the trooper in the kitchen. Aasha had a firm hold on my arm. He turned me to face him and he looked at me.
"Reeshi, remember what mom and dad said." His voice was breaking. I knew he was scared too, but he was trying to be brave for his little sister. "We have to run, or they'll try to take us too."
Aasha started pulling us both toward the door, but I tugged back. "Wait," I said. I pulled to go upstairs to my bedroom, where there was a picture on my bedside table.
"We don't have time. We need to go – now." Aasha picked me up and carried me out the door, kicking and screaming. Around the back of the house, we had a speeder hidden beside the shed, covered in a tarp. It was in case we ever had to disappear without a trace. I had hoped we'd never have to use it.
Aasha set me down, though he didn't let go of my arm, and he uncovered the bike, took a seat, and hoisted me onto it. We raced off across the gray, grassy plains. Over the whine of the engine, I heard gunshots, followed by an explosion. I looked back to see smoke streaming out of the windows. I hugged my brother's back and sobbed into his shirt. I didn't look up again until we had stopped.
In front of us sat two buildings: a house, not much bigger than our own, and a massive hangar with a ship inside. I remember staring at the ship, rubbing the tears out of my eyes, not believing I was seeing one in person. I'd never been that close to any ship before, let alone something the size of a light freighter – not that I knew what kind of ship it was at the time. Aasha was still holding me by the hand, and he led me up to the front door and knocked four times. A woman with soft eyes and olive skin opened the door. Her hair was tucked up in a messy, half-fallen bun – she always wore it that way. When she saw us, she gasped, scanned the area, and beckoned for us to come inside, shutting the door quickly behind us.
She stared at us a moment before saying anything. "You're Maari and Vatee's kids aren't you." It was more of a statement than a question.
Aasha nodded. I just stared.
She proceeded slowly, not sure how to word her next statement. "They were traced, then."
Aasha nodded. I continued to stare. I could feel a lump rising in my throat as tears begin to blur my vision again.
All the strange woman said next was "I'm sorry."
"My parents told me if this ever happened to come straight here." Aasha explained. "Who are you?"
"We're friends of your parents' from a long time ago. You'll be safe here." She reached out a hand to Aasha and looked at both of us with her gentle, motherly eyes. "Come, I'll show you two around. This will be your home from now on. We have rooms upstairs for you, though I'll have to get them ready."
I finally had enough courage to ask what hadn't been answered. "But who are you?"
The woman stopped, turned around, and crouched down. "I'm Talaala Meerkaul, and I promised your parents a very long time ago that, should this day ever come, I would love you and your brother like you were my own." She extended her arms, welcoming me in for a hug. I crossed my arms and tried not to cry.
"Reeshi, don't be so rude," Aasha scolded me.
Talaala stood up. "It's alright. It's been a rough day for both of you. She'll come around to it in time."
When Talaala stood Reeshi caught a glimpse of another face peeking around the corner of the wall behind the woman. Reeshi pointed, "who's that??"
The face disappeared as Talaala turned around. She walked calmly around the corner, following the sound of retreating footsteps. There was a "gotcha!" followed by giggling, which turned abruptly into a siren-like "nooooooooo" as they got closer to where we were left standing. When she came back around the corner, she had a squirming child in her arms, who looked about as old as I was.
"This is Reyoni. He's six – about your age, right, little one?"
I held out five fingers. Aasha helped me out.
"Reeshi just turned five last month."
"Well, happy belated birthday!" Talaala set Reyoni down and he ran to hide behind her legs. "Looks like your birthday gift today is a couple more older brothers!" She laughed at her own joke. Talaala always laughed at her own jokes. It was kind of endearing, in its own weird way, I guess.
"I'm fourteen," Aasha said, sounding excited. "Do I get an older brother?"
"Not quite," Talaala replied with a chuckle. "Ruki is only nine, but he thinks he's older. He's out there working on the ship."
We were clearly excited about very different things. We both shouted over top of one another:
Aasha – "Can I go see him??"
Me – "Can I go see it??"
Talaala laughed again and extended a hand. Aasha reached for her hand, and I immediately chased after Reyoni, who had already taken off running in the direction of the hangar. Not that I knew where he was running. Five-year-old me was just suddenly very excited about something and forgot about what was making her sad – for the time being.
We spent that day getting to know the Meerkaul family. Benef returned from town later that day to find his household had gained two children. I remember his face changing from one of endearment at his childrens' new friends to one of sadness when he realized who we were. He and his wife had a long talk in the kitchen while they thought we were all out of earshot. I listened for a while. They talked about my parents and how they knew they two of them would get caught someday, how they hoped that day would never come. They talked about how they would keep Aasha and me safe, and they talked about the chances the Empire would come looking for us. Talaala mentioned that I seemed interested in the ship and that maybe I could find comfort in mechanic work. Benef said I was too little – I made a mental note at the time to prove him wrong. They talked some more about the logistics of raising adoptive kids, and at that point I decided I'd had enough. I walked into the kitchen and asked for something to draw with. Benef handed me a stack of paper and some crayons, and I wandered off to a quiet corner to draw.
I started off drawing ships. The ships turned into my ships, with Reeshi the Super Pilot. I drew myself saving my parents from the stormtroopers. I drew the Imperial capital building downtown with lots of explosions around it (I'd only seen it once or twice, but I got the idea: big, dark, scary, and covered in banners). Finally, I drew our house. I drew our family. I drew all four of us together, like the picture in my bedroom. I drew my mom holding me in her arms and my dad holding Aasha's hand. I picked up my drawing and I looked at it. I held it. I sat with my back against the wall of that strange house, surrounded by people I didn't know, and I cried.
I carried the drawing with me up to my new bedroom, and I stared at everything. I was exhausted, and I wanted nothing more than for my mom to hold me and tell me a story about rebels and pilots and people helping other people. I wanted her to tuck me in and give me a kiss goodnight on the forehead. I wanted to hear her talking with my dad through the barely-open door of my room. I wanted to hear them laughing about something. I wanted to know they were there, somehow… But I knew it would never happen again, and at five years old, I didn't know what to do. So, I took my drawing of my family, a crawled into bed, I tucked myself in, and I tried to sleep, holding the drawing – all I had left – close as my tears fell onto the pillow.
***
I slowly started to adjust to my new life. I felt a bit better with each passing day, and every day, I had moments where I felt like everything was okay, for the most part. A couple of weeks after we had moved in with the Meerkauls, Aasha found himself in my room, supposedly looking for something. What he found was the drawing I had made that first night, which was, by now, horribly crumpled and covered in dried teardrops. I wasn't a very good artist, but I guess it was good enough that he could tell what it was supposed to be. He took it to Talaala and Benef and he asked if they could take him back to our old house. He told them there was a picture in my bedroom that he wanted to get, if it was still there. They hesitated, but they did eventually agree.
Aasha ran back upstairs and put my drawing back where he had found it, and he and Benef headed back to the house…
I remember the smell of smoke. It was the first time I smelled it, that sour, charred stench of a burning homestead.
Benef went in before I did, performing a sweep of the house, checking for trackers, traps, and of course, troopers. When he gave me the all-clear, I went inside. He gave me my space, but he told me to call out if I needed anything. Inside, it was like a mini warzone. There were no bodies, thankfully. I don't think I could have kept going if I'd had to see them like that. I'm glad I get to remember them alive. The last time I'd seen them was that morning before they went down into the bunker to make their weekly transmissions. They had been happy, and that's how I remember them.
The entrance to their bunker was nothing more than a hole in the ground. While we were escaping that day, I thought I had heard an explosion. That must have been it. I peered down into the hole. All of their equipment was destroyed. In the corner, I could see what was left of Biz. His chassis had been torn to shreds by the blast. That made me look away.
On the walls, there were blackened holes from blaster fire. I realize now that those blast marks would have meant that my parents went down fighting. I don't remember if there were bloodstains on the floor. Frankly, I'm glad I didn't look that hard as a kid. I was mostly busy paying attention to what wasn't there: our furniture had been overturned or taken away, two windows were broken, a handful of game pieces and crayons were scattered across the floor… I left and went upstairs. I guess, since they found what they wanted downstairs, they never made it terribly far in their search of the second floor. My room, the first one off near the top of the stairs, was ripped apart. My lamp was broken, posters were torn off the wall, my sheets and mattress were in a horrible state of disarray. I'd had a toy pistol sitting on my nightstand. It was broken in half.
Reeshi's room was next. There was a hole in the floor where blaster fire had made its way through from downstairs. It had managed to hit something flammable in her room and start a small fire. There were scorch marks along the wall. What wasn't on the wall was the picture. It had fallen, presumably when the explosive went off, and landed on the floor near where the fire had been. It was a small picture, but it was still mostly intact, save for a burnt corner where the frame had broken. I picked it up and brushed the soot off. Standing in my sister's burnt bedroom, I looked at the picture. We were all so happy. Reeshi was just a baby. We never knew what would happen to us all, someday.
For the first time since we heard those boots at our door, I cried. I was finally alone. I didn't have to pretend to be strong for anyone. All the emotions came flooding back, and I cried.
I carried the picture into my parents' room, which was untouched by prying hands or blaster fire, and I sat down on the edge of their bed. I tried to feel their presence, but all I felt was emptiness and loss. They were gone, and I knew it, as much as I wished it wasn't so.
Eventually, I stood up and decided it was time to go. I had cried enough. I didn't feel any better, but at least I had gotten it out. I wiped my eyes and I started back downstairs. On the back of the bedroom door, I saw my father's jacket. I picked it up. Inside the front panel, there was a patch. It was small, but I recognized it. It was the symbol of the Rebellion – the Rebel Starbird. I put the jacket on. It was far too big for me at the time, but I didn't care. I tucked Reeshi's photo into the jacket's pocket and went downstairs to meet Benef. He asked if I was ready to leave. I told him I was. We both mounted the speeder bike and took off across the plains, and for a moment, I felt like I had traded places with Reeshi as I let myself cry as our home disappeared into the horizon. When I returned years later, all that was left was a foundation. The Empire had burned it to the ground…
When Aasha and Benef got back from their trip into town, I noticed Aasha was wearing an oddly familiar jacket. I squinted and gave him that incredulous kind of look that only little kids can give.
"You didn't go into town, did you." I wasn't asking.
Aasha shook his head. "No, I went to get something for you." He took the picture out of his coat pocket and handed it to me. "I saw your drawing. This was what you wanted to go back for that day, wasn't it?"
Normally, I would have been mad at him for going through my stuff, but I was too overwhelmed to care. I just nodded as I took the picture and looked at it. It was burnt. I traced the faces in the image. I started to cry again and I ran to Aasha and hugged him. I took a deep breath and paused before sobbing as I spoke: "This is dad's jacket…"
Aasha reached out and hugged me back, "yeah. It is." He told me what he had found when he went back to the house. He told me that they were gone, that the house had been torn apart, and that all their equipment, including Biz, had been destroyed. He also told me something else.
"Reeshi, mom and dad loved you. We all knew that what they did was risky, and we knew that someday, this might happen to us. But they believed that you and I were strong enough to keep going if it did. They had everything set up for us so we could escape and be safe if the Empire ever came for them. I used to hear them talking about you. They used to talk about how passionate you were about the things that you loved. Hold on to that passion. Even if they're gone from this world, the Force is always there, and they are one with the Force now."
It took me a long time to understand all of what he said to me that day. Although, considering everything that's happened lately, it still feels like an oddly relevant statement. As I look at where I am now and where I've come, I realize that, had things not happened the way they did, I might never have gotten to learn how to fix ships or droids. I may not have had the chance to learn how to fly a spaceship before I was ten. I would never have gotten the chance to be Reeshi the Super Pilot, and while I've got a long way to go and a lot left to learn, I still like to think that my mom and dad would be proud of me if they could see me today.
And for those who were lost along the way, I will always remember them as my heart does: Happy, and full of hope.
