Policy Update Sanctum Survey Follow-Up (and Request for Input)

[Jumbled]

I think, if there was to be a rule edit, it would literally be the clarification James stated,

"we have agreed a roleplay is happening, what it is about and are ready to plan the details..." would you like to exchange discord if you have it?

I was scared to offer James my discord when working on art together because it did seem like I wasn't supposed to ask or hand that out. Just food for thought there.

But otherwise, I want our site to thrive. I make themes in hopes to cause excitement and to show we're actively doing things for members. This place is a gift as are the writers here. I want them to know that I'm a resource, that I want to help, and I want to make them smile. You're not going to find that from me on a discord RP server or whatever. Writing ON site is what keeps us going. Not writing in DMs keeps us going. Other places are dying out, shutting down, or overrun. And you cannot sit there and tell me the same about Sanctum.

 

[Ark]

If you want to roleplay on Discord, why are you here?

Because here is the highest gathering of good RPers that I have seen on the internet. So I can see how some people would want the best of both worlds - to find good writers and to also have access to the discord features.
I don't think there is a perfect solution that will make everyone happy, unless we can somehow get the discord features on the forums. Personally I think forums work just fine, and discord has downsides too. I have RPs going on discord, but none of those players were recruited from here.

 

[Fox_]

Both Jumbled and Ark highlight what I was implying in my post. The quality is much better here, and therefore, Discord boards aren't where you'd look. And secondly, most people are afraid to ask for your Discord handle in the first place.

People ask me, often, to transfer our RPs to Discord or Google Docs because they find it more comfortable. Because they don't like writing in public. Because they feel shy sharing their kinks with the world. And yes, these are women. So in the interest of being kind towards these women--I'm just going to strip away the curtain here and say it like it is now--and in the interest of enabling these women, sometimes I do genuinely consider doing it. If a woman tells me they prefer to RP on Discord because they're shy, my first thought as a man is to make that happen. Problem > solver. Because more often than not, I've noticed when people are forced to write in the public eye; they write very differently to how they'd write in private comms. They conform. Whether we like to admit it or not, there is a level of conformity that comes with role-playing on these forums. Some RPs look the same. Some are even formatted the same. Escaping these conventions is refreshing. And I'm going to be honest, I would rather write with someone who is writing something true to themselves than write with someone who is trying very hard to fit in. It simply is more fun.

And this' my hobby. I'm here to have fun.

And by enabling my partner, they are going to have more fun because they feel more comfortable.

If Discord / Google Docs are more fun, and it makes female partners feel more comfortable, then:

I can see how some people would want the best of both worlds - to find good writers and to also have access to the discord features.

---

Something to remember: it always takes two to tango. Roleplay implies there must be a yin to the yang. If I'm asking, I must be asking on behalf of someone; and it's usually on behalf of a shy female partner who has told me, in good faith, that they wish they could write less publically because she'd write better there. I've seen a glimpse of her writing. I know her potential. It's not my place to force her to write on the forums if she doesn't want to. And as far as I'm concerned, that is that; and I'm not about to force her. But I knowwww, I heckin knowwwww, that when she writes snippets to me on Discord without all this forum-hoobabaloo, that she writes like a machine gunner in an Apache Lakestar Arrowhead. So yes, I ask if we'll ever be allowed to transfer long-standing relationships/role-plays onto Discord. And yes, this conversation that I'm referring to is a regular occurance. I apologise, I wasn't trying to appear unorganic by doing so.

 

[Jumbled]

Females should feel comfortable where there are report buttons and protections in place.

 

[Ark]

Sounds like in her specific case the discomfort (which prevented her from writing her best) came from simply knowing that everyone and anyone else can read her posts. Report buttons and protections have no power in this case.
So the only solutions in this case that I see are 1) go in private, 2) find a way to feel anonymous, such as creating a throwaway account, which is also against the rules, 3) only write what you are comfortable sharing with everyone, which is limiting, and 4) find a way to become comfortable, which is possible, but a lot to ask for.

 

[Jahdeen]

Females should feel comfortable where there are report buttons and protections in place.

I don't usually talk in this section of the forums, but this!

Quite honestly, these protections are what brought me here in the first place, and the lack thereof in Discord servers drove me away after multiple attempts. I totally understand the anxiety of writing in a place where other people can read it, but ultimately, I.S. is a very safe place for me due to that. There's a sense of accountability that inherently comes with the moderation, whereas on Discord, it's far easier for people to chat via PM, away from the mods. Hate to say it, but I had a very negative experience on a Discord RP server (more specifically, someone who slid into my PMs) that made me realize the importance of moderation. Had the same situation occurred here, I know I'd feel comfortable enough to reach out and stop it before it went too far.

I do have a few people from here on Discord as friends, but that only happened after extensive amounts of writing together to a point of trust. Even then, we mainly use it for casual conversation or planning our writing that still occurs on the forums. The writing that happens on here every day encourages me and inspires me--there's something powerful about seeing so many creative minds working in a single place, and I never got that in Discord servers.

 

[Aerix]

I've RPed on discord twice and both times my writing partners deleted the server and I lost all of my hard work. The forum protects both you and your writing, discord doesn't. Imo, there is no way to stop people from doing it, but the rules should be in place to protect those that need protecting, and that's the most important thing here. You never know who is behind the username - this is advice coming from someone who was relentlessly stalked by a role player who wouldn't take no as an answer. Safety first!

 

[humon]

I've never used Discord, so I don't know how any of that works, but I can say that any time there's a difference between how people speak or write publicly versus privately, it's because they fear social consequences for saying what they actually think (or in this case writing to the full extent of their creativity). Now, the question is, are those fears justified or only imagined? One possibility is that she wants to write something taboo, for which she will be judged and shamed. Another possibility is that she wants to write something sensitive, for which she is fearful that others will become triggered and try to cancel her. A third possibility is that she's just shy and she fears being mocked if she shows earnestness (anyone who's been bullied as a kid might have this). If it's the first possibility, it would be best to keep it off site. If it's the second, then that's either an issue for the community, or an issue with her perception of us. Some spaces on the internet are less tolerant than others, and it's easy for people to assume the worst as a matter of self preservation. If it's that, or the third possibility, then that's something she has to work on herself.

Fox, you said that you'd rather write with someone being true to herself than trying to fit in, and I agree with that, but I'd like to add that it's even better if she feels confident enough to be true to herself in public and not worry about trying to fit in. Encouraging people to be mentally tougher makes for a stronger community in general.

 

[Lingeress]

So yes, I ask if we'll ever be allowed to transfer long-standing relationships/role-plays onto Discord.

Based on what you've written here, it sounds like you're already doing this, so what's stopping you from continuing? Is it the character limit on Discord? Because, unless someone else is paying for it, I'm not buying Nitro just to be able to post an RP response.

If I'm ever perceived as shy by anyone, it's because of attitudes like yours. You kink-shamed my favorite kinks in your first post of this thread under the guise of 'protecting users from themselves.' I don't need anyone's protection. What I need is critical exploration and creative expression, no matter how dark the subject matter. 'Cuz life's real grim right now, anyway, so it's nice that fiction allows a writer the ability to guide and control that grimness, shaping and bending it to their will. The writer is who has power over what they are writing, not the other way around.

Reasons why I don't always feel like I fit in on this site is because my interests tend to get kink or slut shamed, even if not directed at me, personally. I wouldn't say this is part of the overall culture of the site, however. When I first joined, this forum felt very sex positive, and it was a welcomed feeling. I don't typically say anything when I see off-hand comments, because everyone is entitled to their opinion. No one is required to like the same things I do, and their opinion is just as verifiable as my own.

So I'd rather write about my favorite kinks here, publicly, knowing 1) no one's going to read it 2) no one's going to call me out for it as long as I'm following site rules and 3) maybe it'll attract more kindred spirits who are also interested in exploring the multifaceted dimensions of the human experience.

I've had two members from this site basically pretend to want to plot with me so they could get my Discord handle in order to do anything but plot on there. And since I'm trying to deal specifically in smut writing, online stalkers are always a valid concern. I can understand why some people might feel cautious giving their handle out.