MxM 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔡𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔢𝔯 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡𝔰 (Jay's request-thread)

[northernspell]

Hello Hello!
How lovely that you've found the way to my request-thread. Make yourself feel at home, scroll through (or not) and then reach out if you feel like we might be a good match for writing together!
I'll try to keep this as informative as possible and as updated as possible as well. Unless stated otherwise I'm usually open to start writing together. And of course if anything is left open and you have a question feel free to ask me!

Let's start with me introducing myself to you! So you can develop an idea of who's standing behind the words in front of you.

𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔚𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔚𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔚𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤-𝔓𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔫𝔢𝔯

• I'm Jay, a 20 years old full-time student who despite his studies (which focus on language) still doesn't spent enough time around words and therefore developed a love for writing.
  Well... I've developed that love way before I started studying but it still baffles me sometimes how I can't seem to get enough of them.
  
  Let's get some key points out of the way first:
  
  Alias: Feel free to call me Jay!
  Age: 20
  Pronouns: he/him/his
  Timezone: CET
  Languages: German, English, Spanish (though I primarily write in English)
  What do I do exactly: I'm a full time college student with an additional job! During my free time I write and read a lot, I crochet and sometimes I simply enjoy going out for a walk or treating myself to a cup of coffee downtown.
  If I could describe myself with one song what would it be? 'Downstairs' by Twenty One Pilots
  
  Writing Experience: I've been writing stories ever since I learnt how to put down sentences. I started roleplaying a long time ago... I think almost ten years ago? (Early internet access is something I do not recommend). I started everything with a simple script-style roleplay but soon entered the part of writing where actual sentences are necessary. Ever since then the amount of how much I write per response has only increased.
  Though I have taken a break from roleplaying for several months I've never truly stopped writing since it has always been my creativity-outlet. Now I'm ready to dive head-first into roleplaying again! It has been missed.
  
  More details about my writing can be found in the tab "The Writing" :)
• Moving on to what probably interests you the most... my writing! Again we'll start with some key-facts you should know and then I'll be providing a few writing-samples.
  
  What plot (or plots) would I like to play out with someone?
  Everything horror-like. If there's murder involved then I am as well.
  I love diving into the dark corners of the human mind. What can and can't a human do? Where are the limits and how do they affect relationships? The bloodier the better (as long as it has a reason).
  It's safe to say that I always enjoy adding romance into the stories I'm writing and yes, occasionally I like a moment of bittersweet softness between the characters. I'm not a monster. Please not that I only write with MxM pairings.
  Slice-of-life is something you normally can't get me into. I need something that keeps me hooked and... 'daily life' doesn't do so. Fantasy is something I also keep my distance from. I prefer settings and plots that come very close to reality.
  
  What is my writing schedule like?
  Since I'm just getting back into roleplaying I'm not sure about this one. I can't promise daily answer though. Especially because I believe that great things do take time and I'm not about to rush some answer when I know that it could be way better if I just sit down and write it when I actually have the time (and headspace) for it.
  My schedule may change from week to week, heavily depending on my work-shifts and my uni-classes.
  
  How much do I generally post?
  My replies usually have a wide range reply wise. My starters tend to be longer than my other replies, but that just makes sense since you have to set the scene. Normal replies vary on the scene and how much my partner gives me to work with. Speaking in discord terms my replies usually cross the limit (of I think 2000 characters) at least once, usually twice.
  I do not have a preferred length of replies, but I like to write a few paragraphs. My writing can be really detailed sometimes and I hate limiting myself to only a few sentences and therefore leaving out details I think of as important.
  
  Do I like to write in the first person or third person?
  Third person only.
  
  What is my tolerance level for gore? Violence?
  I'd say that my tolerance is very high. The gorier the better (but it has to have a reason). I do have my limits but that can be discussed more in private (as they should).
  Again with violence, I'm okay with it if it has a reason. I do not get the point of random violence-outburst.
  
  Do I write sexual content?
  I do, yes. I prefer to have a good mix of plot and smut (70/30). Kinks and Limits are something I'd like to talk about in private since they heavily depend on the general setting of the story. Just to say it again: I only write MxM pairings.
  
  Do I write any fandoms?
  Usually: no. Some Fandoms I could (maybe) be up to write in would be:
  Hannibal, Supernatural, If we were villains
  
  Do I have any pairing or setting ideas?
  Currently: not really. I have some rough things in mind but nothing fleshed out or something I really crave. I'm open to all sorts of ideas you might bring into the chat or we can come up with something entirely new together!
  
  Now to my writing samples!
  
  

  𝔈𝔵𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢 1

  Disclaimer: This was written during my roleplay-break and has been published as a chapter of a story on Ao3 before. But since it's my most recent work it only seems reasonable to share this as a way of showing my writing to you. (Character names have been changed.)
  
  Five years ago, Josh didn’t think he’d make it to this day. Five years ago, he didn’t think he’d sit here and watch the girl graduate he saved the world with. Five years ago, he thought he wouldn’t survive being the only one of his group to stay behind in the city that shaped them with pain and terrifying memories.
  
  But Josh made it. Even though he knows every day he wakes up in the same bed, in the same town, another piece of his soul slowly rots away. But Josh can’t leave Hawkins, can’t leave the past behind that turned him into the man he is now.
  
  He thought about it. A lot, to be honest. But even the thought of leaving his memories behind makes him sick to his stomach. So sick he even throws up at it on bad days. So much happened in Memphis, happened to him. And while everybody moved on, Josh still sits on that chair in front of the stage that is decorated to honour the class of 1985 graduating.
  
  So, sitting here now, watching Erica walk that stage exactly five years later makes his stomach turn and his chest tighten in a way he can’t get any air into his lungs. It’s not just the feeling of being stuck in 1985 that eats Joshfrom the inside. It’s also the feeling of being so close to something Josh tried to stay away from as far as possible.
  
  He can feel Sam’s eyes on him. Or at least he thinks he can feel them on him. Burning holes into his profile. But Josh’s not sure if that’s the truth because he doesn’t dare to turn his head to even glance at Sam for a second. Because looking at Sam means giving up. Looking at Sam means losing a war he’s been fighting for five years.
  
  The truth is Josh never stopped thinking about Sam. He thinks about him every morning when he wakes with burning, red eyes and every night when he drifts off into his sleep with tear streaks on his cheeks. He ignored it for the longest time and tried to replace Sam with Jane. He grieved her for a really long time, thought about her and hoped that maybe his made-up story was real and she was somewhere off in an unknown land, living the life she always wanted. But the more time passed the more Josh realised he had never really been grieving Jane but Sam.
  
  Josh realised that the sick feeling in his stomach, the shed tears, the unbearable stomach cramps and the ever-spinning thoughts of what could have been, have never been about Jane. They have always been about Sam. And what makes it even worse that unlike Jane Sam is very real and very much still alive and breathing.
  Don’t get him wrong. He had loved Jane and he had grieved her. But his love and grief for Jane wasn’t nearly as deeply rooted as his love and grief for Sam. It just took Josh too long to realise.
  
  When Josh sees Dustin wave at them furiously from a few meters away, he wants to laugh out loud with everyone else, but his laughter dies in his throat when he sees Sam stand right next to Dustin. Why hadn’t he known Samwas coming too? Why had no one told him? Probably because he never spoke about Sam so everyone just treats Sam like a topic that will push Josh over the edge. And maybe they’re right.
  
  Because right now Josh feels like jumping from that stage, hoping a hole will open and swallow him whole so he doesn’t have to face this. Instead though, he stays right in his seat and has a stare-down with his shoelaces. It feels like his shoelaces are winning, his vision growing blurry. And he’ll take this loss gladly. Better to focus on the knot he tied this morning than the boy standing a few meters away. Better to study the frayed ends than feel his heart crack open again.
  
  The second a round of applause erupts around Josh he jolts awake. Torn away from his agony and the pain just experienced, he rises out of his chair like everyone else from their group and he feels like he effortlessly blends into the crowd. He tells himself the lie of blending in so convincingly that he himself doesn’t even notice the tears that threaten to spill. But in the end, never do.
  
  He falls into the same routine he always has when his group of friends is around. Which isn’t often but when they do end up together, he has managed to work out the perfect strategy of never revealing what he’s hiding deep in his chest. So, he follows suit with everyone else when they leave their seats to go up to Erica. He laughs with them, hugs the star of the day and gives her the present he prepared for her a few weeks prior. A silver bracelet with a plate carrying a quote that Erica always used to drop during the few campaigns they played together.
  
  Josh watches everyone move around him and lets himself be carried by everyone else like he always does. Because being real would hurt too much. Because someone noticing the face behind his mask would ruin everything. And it works perfectly. With the simple difference that he just never acknowledges Sam’s presence. Because even though Josh worked so hard on this mask and he hasn’t seen Sam for five years, he knows that the second he allows himself to look – really look – at Sam everything is going to crumble.
  
  That works until they’re all sitting around the big dining table in the Taylor’ garden and a sharp elbow pushes into Josh's side. “You have a couch in your apartment, right?” Confusedly he blinks a few times before looking up, needing a few seconds to comprehend the words just spoken to him by Max. A couch? What for?
  Dumbfounded Josh stares at Max before he slowly nods. The light pain behind his forehead growing stronger with each movement of his head. “Yeah? I mean…” Josh pauses and then even more confused continues “Who doesn’t?”
  
  Max stares right back at him before Erica interrupts them with a loud sigh. “Oh my god, Josh. Sam needs a place to stay tonight and we’re out of guest rooms because my annoying brother and his sweet girlfriend still refuse to pay for a hotel.”
  
  Oh… Oh–. He’s not been paying attention at all because if he had been this wouldn’t hit him like it does right now. He feels like someone ran him over with a truck twice and then set his body on fire. This is too much, the implication of Sam sleeping over at Josh’s place too real and too sharp, scratching itself into Joshs heart. Something like hope starts to hum through his body and Josh really needs to leave like right now or he’ll break down, die, tear his chest apart to rip out his heart.
  
  But he can’t leave. Every pair of eyes trained on him, waiting, expecting him to nod. Because they know Josh has a couch and they know it’s enough to sleep on. Because they’ve all slept on it at some point. Ana when she hid from Max because she drank too much at a party. Max when she hid from Ana because she laughed at her when she fell from her skateboard and cried because of a scraped knee. Dustin because he had been too tired to drive back to his college after just returning from a trip with his best friend. Svea because she needed a place to crash in for a few weeks until her first salary flew in and she could afford her first rent. Even Erica because she didn’t want to stay alone in her room the first few nights after her brother moved out. They’ve all slept on Josh's couch. All except Sam. And that’s the problem.

  
  

  𝔈𝔵𝔞𝔪𝔭𝔩𝔢 2 - TW: blood, murder

  Disclaimer: This is a roleplay-starter that has been written a while ago. If you want to read something more recent please refer to example 1.
  
  It was mesmerising to watch the red liquid flow through transparent tubes and into a big bucket. Juanjo could sit right there and watch it for ages. He enjoyed the steady humming of the machine behind him and the cold air tugging on his exposed forearms. “It feels nice, right? To be helpful to science.” He mumbled, lifting his head to look into the eyes staring at him. There was barely any life left behind in them. Sweat was dripping down the pale forehead of the man lying on top of the table. “I promise I’ll mention your name when I go up on stage to claim my doctor title.”
  Juanjo smiled, not at all concerned by the scene in front of him. He knew it was for a good cause, he knew he would reach his goal like this. His teacher had said it himself. The best practice is done on the living. That was exactly what Juanjo was doing.The man on top of the table had stopped making sounds long ago. He was drifting in and out of consciousness for the past twenty minutes and if Juanjo’s calculations were correct the man on the table should die within the next few minutes.
  
  And Juanjo was right. He watched the man’s eyes roll back as the lids closed and the man’s chest deflated for one last time. The human’s body was pale. Juanjo liked the view, he liked how he could see the veins stretching underneath the almost transparent skin. His gloved fingers travelled over naked arms and then over a naked chest that lay still without any movement. “Which one…” Juanjo drifted off and walked over the small table that was placed in the far corner of the room. On top of it lay an old book, open on a page that portrayed the human body and its organs. “Bladder? Liver? Kidneys…” Another few moments passed until the man had decided on the liver. He grabbed a glass full of preservative fluid from his shelf and carried it over to the dead body.
  Then Juanjo carefully cut open the corpse's body with a scalpel before taking out the liver and putting it down into the fluid, closing the lid quickly. “Qué bonito.” He muttered before carefully sewing the incision close again. Since there was no blood anymore it wasn’t half as messy as it would usually be and Juanjo did not struggle at all to do this on his own. In a normal surgery this small act of removing an organ would take at least three people. And look at Juanjo, he could do all of it on his own!
  After cleaning the body Juanjo wrapped it in a white towel and carefully carried it upstairs to his car where he let it disappear in the trunk of it. The car was an old truck containing a lot of space. Despite the space Juanjo liked using this old truck because if it enden up stained it wouldn't hurt as bad as it would when his other, way nicer car, was stained on the inside.
  
  Once that was done the killer went inside to change out of his surgery clothes. It was around 3am by now and despite summer waiting around the corner it was still freezing outside. Juanjo pulled on a pair of black denims, a dark blue turtleneck and a black coat which he adored. The pants were pulled tight with a silver belt and before heading towards the car Juanjo pulled a pair of leather gloves from the pocket of his coat which he put on.
  
  The drive to the woods was silent, no radio playing and no one else on the road. All Juanjo could hear was the steady rumble of the engine and the occasional thumb of the corpse jumping in the trunk when passing a hole in the road.
The man parked his car at the end of the road and carried the dead body into the woods by himself. After finding a good spot he set the corpse down on the ground and removed the fabric he had wrapped the body in. The fabric was replaced by a red towel which Juanjo pulled out from the other pocket of his coat. The towel was wrapped in plastic. The man unwrapped it and draped it over the body. “Soon our names will be known by everybody.”
  
  The killer walked back to his car and stored the fabric underneath one of his seats. And then… when looking up because of the sound Juanjo watched a car drive past him. He swallowed, the woman in the car had looked right at him. Now she knew Juanjo was in the woods in the middle of the night. She knew what he looked like. Minutes of silence passed and Juanjo tried to figure something out that would help him to build an alibi. Who didn’t the police suspect? Witnesses? Witnesses! That was good but how would Juanjo call the cops?
  His plan went into action as soon as he reached the nearest pay phone. He had walked there and sounded out of breath when someone finally picked up. That was good, it’d help him to fake the shock he should be in.
  
  “There-“ he paused, swallowing audibly “I think I- I found a dead body.” Expectedly Juanjo was asked to wait for the police at the pay phone and lead them to the body he ‘had found’. When they arrived Juanjo was weirdly calm for someone who had just seen a corpse but the police didn’t seem to take note of that.The man lead them through the woods to the body and was then asked to wait with them for someone who’d take care of them.
At around 4.30am Juanjo was standing in front of a tall male that looked down on him. He seemed to be a few years older than Juanjo but it was visible he had not been in the business for too long yet. It’d be easy to trick him, or so Juanjo thought.
  
  The killer waited patiently to be asked the necessary questions. “Yes, I found it. Didn’t touch it if you want to know that.” His voice was calm, almost cold as if it didn’t bother him at all that there was a dead body lying only a few metres away from them. Juanjo didn’t offer to leave fingerprints for the detective, knowing if they found any matches on the corpse he’d be suspect number one. He had worn gloves throughout the whole process but you could never be safe enough.
What was he doing here? While waiting for the police the man had thought of something that seemed plausible. “I was looking for my dog. A friend left her with me for the night but I forgot to lock the door. I don’t live far from the woods so I thought she might’ve come here.” Juanjo didn’t have a friend with a dog but if there should be any more questions he could just say that they never found the dog again, right?At the next question the man glanced over at the corpse, making a face for a split second. He could see a bug crawling over the face, a shiver ran down his spine. “I don’t know him, sorry. He looks pale, doesn’t he?” Juanjo frowned for a moment as if he was thinking, considering something. “Do you think this could’ve been done by an animal? He’s as pale as if he saw a ghost.” The man shrugged lightly, giving the detective a helpless smile.Contacts? There would be no harm in wiriting down the real information, right? Juanjo could only get into more trouble if he lied now. “It‘s Juanjo Ruiz. I don’t use the phone regularly but if you do need to reach me it’s 638196. I’m home during the evenings. If you do need to reach me earlier you can call the medical school two towns over. I study there, they will get me on the phone for you.”
The man pulled the leather gloves from his hands and stored them in the pockets of his coat. He was starting to sweat which wasn’t necessarily a good sign. “May I ask for your name? Just so I know who I will be expecting to call me.” A short smile was aimed at the detective before Juanjo’s gaze wandered behind the other again and to the dead body. He was extremely proud of this one. “Do you think his death was worth something? Poor man.”

• Now lastly, the things I'm looking for in a writing-partner!
  
  About you
  Age: 20-25 (older can be talked about but please don't be younger)
  
Timezone: I really don't care about your timezone. We can make almost every time difference work. Though I do think it gets hard with a difference bigger than 6-7 hours.

  Language: English is preffered but as long as we have one language in common, I don't care. If your character speaks a language I don't know I kindly ask you to provide translations.
  
  About roleplaying
  Experience: You don't have to be a pro in roleplaying, I'm not one myself. However I prefer my partners to have some kind of experience with roleplaying. If you want to know why I can surely give an explanation in private.
  Characters: Please have a general idea of the OC you'd like to write with. It doesn't have to be fleshed out but I prefer to know what kind of character I'm writing against. You don't have to have an idea when we start talking but there definitely should be some kind of idea before the story starts. I'm gladly offering my help if you need any.
  Style: Please be open to write in third person and preferably past tense. I do not do any first person roleplays.
  You should be able to write a few paragraphs. However I do understand that some scenes do not call for really long answers. (just give me more than two sentences, please)
Regarding grammar I do ask for you to have some common sense. Mistakes happen and as a non-native speaker myself I know how easily mistakes can happen. I just ask that I'll be able to understand what you're saying. (And with that said, please don't hesitate to correct me on (grammatical) mistakes I may make.)

You've made it through! Thank you so much for reading my request-thread!
Now, if this mess of a post has peaked your interest do not hesitate to message me! If you decide to do so please introduce yourself a little so I know who you are and what you're looking for :)

I can't wait to meet you!

Have a good day/night!
- Jay