heather
Emperor
- Local time
- Yesterday 11:38 PM
- Messages
- 1,559
- Age
- 28
- Pronouns
- she/her
My love,
I am currently writing to you from my desk. I sit at this desk every day opening countless letters, keeping the books, and writing correspondences. There is no need to explain to you the amount of hours I spend in this chair - you know better than anyone. The wood has bent to fit my body, the stain worn down where my hand rests with a quill in it. And yet this seat has never felt so foreign to me as it does now.
Everything feels wrong since you left.
The world keeps moving around me in much of the same way it always does. I woke before sunset and rode around the edges of the land, Cyprus ignorantly unaware of my heartbreak. I broke fast with my sister who spoke excitedly of the ball next week as if my world had not shattered into thousands of pieces. I balanced the books and placed the final orders for the ball as if the future did not look terribly dim without my source of light. I ran through my familiar sparring routine with Claud, looking for an escape in keeping my body and mind busy. The tailor stopped by to alter some clothing, and I successfully blocked out all of the objections you'd have about the dismal shade of green he'd chosen. Until I ate lunch alone on the veranda, it was easy to convince myself that you'd only left to go visit your parents, and that you'd be back before dinner. But after lunch? The hollow feeling that sat inside me felt like a cavern. I tried to keep myself busy by chopping firewood, riding the borders again, and visiting the farmers to offer my help. I ate dinner, bathed, and played darts with the other Lords. But the ache in my bones only seems to grow.
You've only been gone a day, and it feels like a lifetime.
I cannot wait until you come back to me.
Forever yours,
-M
I am currently writing to you from my desk. I sit at this desk every day opening countless letters, keeping the books, and writing correspondences. There is no need to explain to you the amount of hours I spend in this chair - you know better than anyone. The wood has bent to fit my body, the stain worn down where my hand rests with a quill in it. And yet this seat has never felt so foreign to me as it does now.
Everything feels wrong since you left.
The world keeps moving around me in much of the same way it always does. I woke before sunset and rode around the edges of the land, Cyprus ignorantly unaware of my heartbreak. I broke fast with my sister who spoke excitedly of the ball next week as if my world had not shattered into thousands of pieces. I balanced the books and placed the final orders for the ball as if the future did not look terribly dim without my source of light. I ran through my familiar sparring routine with Claud, looking for an escape in keeping my body and mind busy. The tailor stopped by to alter some clothing, and I successfully blocked out all of the objections you'd have about the dismal shade of green he'd chosen. Until I ate lunch alone on the veranda, it was easy to convince myself that you'd only left to go visit your parents, and that you'd be back before dinner. But after lunch? The hollow feeling that sat inside me felt like a cavern. I tried to keep myself busy by chopping firewood, riding the borders again, and visiting the farmers to offer my help. I ate dinner, bathed, and played darts with the other Lords. But the ache in my bones only seems to grow.
You've only been gone a day, and it feels like a lifetime.
I cannot wait until you come back to me.
Forever yours,
-M
My love,
This is my third letter. I hope you have received at least one. Not hearing back from you has nearly driven me mad, but I do not suspect you have much time to reply from the front lines. The General assured me this is the correct address for all of you to receive mail.
I thought I was alone in my heartbreak, but I was wrong. This morning in the stables, Cyprus has been inconsolable. He misses Fern terribly. He's refusing to eat, and he nearly kicked one of the stable boys in the head. Perhaps I should write to the General. Do you think our horses' distress is enough to redact the draft order?
Forever yours,
-M
This is my third letter. I hope you have received at least one. Not hearing back from you has nearly driven me mad, but I do not suspect you have much time to reply from the front lines. The General assured me this is the correct address for all of you to receive mail.
I thought I was alone in my heartbreak, but I was wrong. This morning in the stables, Cyprus has been inconsolable. He misses Fern terribly. He's refusing to eat, and he nearly kicked one of the stable boys in the head. Perhaps I should write to the General. Do you think our horses' distress is enough to redact the draft order?
Forever yours,
-M
My love,
Tonight was the ball. Everyone was rather impressed by the theme, so thank you for your splendid ideas as always. Dahlia looked stunning. She even said I was the 'best big brother to ever exist.' Lord Asher and Lord Mellows have already presented me with proposals for her hand, and I believe more will arrive within the next few days.
I remember reading someone's memoir once. They spoke of feeling isolated in a crowded room. Until tonight, I couldn't understand what that meant. Now I do.
When you get back, there will be no more hiding for us. Presenting Dahlia raised many questions this night about my own prospects for marriage. I was wrong to keep you in the darkness like a secret. Dahlia will be married by the time you're back, and she will be under the protection of the husband she chooses. They will never accept us here, but we can run away if we need to.
I never wish to be without you again no matter the cost.
Forever yours,
-M
Tonight was the ball. Everyone was rather impressed by the theme, so thank you for your splendid ideas as always. Dahlia looked stunning. She even said I was the 'best big brother to ever exist.' Lord Asher and Lord Mellows have already presented me with proposals for her hand, and I believe more will arrive within the next few days.
I remember reading someone's memoir once. They spoke of feeling isolated in a crowded room. Until tonight, I couldn't understand what that meant. Now I do.
When you get back, there will be no more hiding for us. Presenting Dahlia raised many questions this night about my own prospects for marriage. I was wrong to keep you in the darkness like a secret. Dahlia will be married by the time you're back, and she will be under the protection of the husband she chooses. They will never accept us here, but we can run away if we need to.
I never wish to be without you again no matter the cost.
Forever yours,
-M
My love,
One hundred days. That's how long it's been since I kissed your lips. When I try to imagine your voice, it sounds like you're speaking to me through water. I try to picture the shade of your eyes and it feels like my own are filled with sand. I can no longer feel the ghosts of your fingers upon my skin. Your smile haunts me in my dreams. I cannot look at the garden without aching. Your uniform still sits in the guard house untouched, and it's beginning to collect dust. Your quarters are stale and smell nothing like your rain and pine.
Please write to me. Even if it's only one or two words to let me know you are okay. Every day, I read the lists of those lost, praying to whatever Gods will listen that you are still alive.
I did something I shouldn't have done. I went to see your parents today. I told them nothing of our relationship - simply that as an employee at my Manor, I care for your wellbeing. They told me they have not heard from you either, but that they check the lists, too.
I need you to be alive.
Forever yours,
-M
One hundred days. That's how long it's been since I kissed your lips. When I try to imagine your voice, it sounds like you're speaking to me through water. I try to picture the shade of your eyes and it feels like my own are filled with sand. I can no longer feel the ghosts of your fingers upon my skin. Your smile haunts me in my dreams. I cannot look at the garden without aching. Your uniform still sits in the guard house untouched, and it's beginning to collect dust. Your quarters are stale and smell nothing like your rain and pine.
Please write to me. Even if it's only one or two words to let me know you are okay. Every day, I read the lists of those lost, praying to whatever Gods will listen that you are still alive.
I did something I shouldn't have done. I went to see your parents today. I told them nothing of our relationship - simply that as an employee at my Manor, I care for your wellbeing. They told me they have not heard from you either, but that they check the lists, too.
I need you to be alive.
Forever yours,
-M
My love,
I cannot believe it has been a year that you've been gone. I still haven't heard from you, but I know you are out there. Sometimes, when it is quiet and I am in bed, I swear I can feel your heartbeat next to mine.
Dahlia married Lord Asher's son today. The wedding was beautiful. The church was decorated perfectly, and the reception here at the Manor was splendid. I miss sneaking away with you to dance in the gardens. I miss everything about you.
I wish to marry you.
Not in a church, of course - they would hang us for that. I long for a quiet ceremony in the gardens, just outside the greenhouse where we first met. I suspect that this time, you will be wearing something other than your guard uniform, but I will leave that up to you.
Forever yours,
-M
I cannot believe it has been a year that you've been gone. I still haven't heard from you, but I know you are out there. Sometimes, when it is quiet and I am in bed, I swear I can feel your heartbeat next to mine.
Dahlia married Lord Asher's son today. The wedding was beautiful. The church was decorated perfectly, and the reception here at the Manor was splendid. I miss sneaking away with you to dance in the gardens. I miss everything about you.
I wish to marry you.
Not in a church, of course - they would hang us for that. I long for a quiet ceremony in the gardens, just outside the greenhouse where we first met. I suspect that this time, you will be wearing something other than your guard uniform, but I will leave that up to you.
Forever yours,
-M
My love,
You lied.
You told me you were going to come back.
When you promised me you were going to come back, you didn't say it would be in a wooden box. You didn't warn me that your heart wouldn't be beating. You didn't prepare me for hands that would not touch me again, or lips that would never whisper my name. You didn't tell me that losing you would shatter me into a million irreparable pieces.
Forever yours,
-M
You told me you were going to come back.
When you promised me you were going to come back, you didn't say it would be in a wooden box. You didn't warn me that your heart wouldn't be beating. You didn't prepare me for hands that would not touch me again, or lips that would never whisper my name. You didn't tell me that losing you would shatter me into a million irreparable pieces.
Forever yours,
-M