TheMoonAuthoress
Count
"Slimy seasick seahorses…." he muttered, taking in a deep breath of the heavy seasalt wind, trying to steady his racing pulse.
Aslak stared at the tiny bundle of blankets that laid on top of a thick rope roll in his boat. If he stared at it long enough, maybe it would evaporate into bubbles and disappear. A fool's hope and crazy to even think. Not even when he blinked had the bundle vanished.
"Aaaahhh bloody harpoons!" He cursed again, drawing a roughed big hand over his bearded face. Looking down again, he was once more confirmed that it was still there. More curse words left him, but he did it under his breath while he looked around. Not panicked or scared but wildly. Thankfully he was still alone by the docks, he knew it wouldn't be long though before someone, any of the other fishermen in the village would show up.
There was still time.
Looking at the bundle again his breath caught in his throat. It moved. A tiny pink hand shoot up and wiggled as if sensing he was near and wanting to be picked up. A low whimper came from under the blankets followed by more baby noises and whining.
"Oh crying sirens", Aslak sighed, kneeled down and carefully removed the blanket from the baby's face. Sea blue eyes stared back up at him and he swallowed hard. The same eyes as hers. There were no doubts about it anymore.
The lady he'd helped a few months ago, nine to be exact, maybe nine and a half or ten, had left him a very unwelcome gift after their heated night together. Molding crabs, it had only been one night He encountered her on his way home, she'd been waving from the shore so wildly he'd knew something was wrong. She had asked him to take her from the island to another, paid him well too so he hadn't asked any questions. Guessing she'd fled some brutal husband or unwanted future with one perhaps. He'd allowed the woman onboard and sailed her to her destination, even when he'd felt a storm approaching in the air. Aslak wasn't one of those superstitious sailors who didn't want women on board their boats. Maybe if he'd known the outcome he would have continued home instead of stopping that day.
The storm had forced him to seek cover in a sheltered bay at one of the smaller islands between the one they had come from and the one she wished to travel to. While they waited for the storm to pass, the woman had suddenly approached him. His first guess had been that she was afraid of the storm or cold, seeking comfort or warmth from another person. It had soon turned to a more heated act, which he hadn't complained or objected to. She had been a beautiful woman and had initiated it. He knew no sailor who could have said no to her or what followed. Now Aslak wished he had pushed her away. Had he known it would end with a baby in his boat. A baby! A child. He could not take care of a child. He had a hell of a time getting his own life together. A child didn't fit in and would not be able to live with him on the boat, nor could he manage the boat and worry about a child at the same time!
He wondered if he could look for the mother, the woman he'd met. He knew which island she was on, or rather had been at several months ago. She could be several miles away now. Apparently she didn't wanted the baby either as she somehow had managed to find him, or his boat, and left the baby there. Abandoned it. To him. Him… Not that Aslak had anything against children. He had always been fond of children, but knew he would never have any of his own. Not after he lost Mira. His Mira. She had died in childbirth, with their son. Never again. Never again had he said to himself. Until a woman with sea blue eyes had embraced him and had awoken that hunger, hunger for closeness and warmth from another body. Feel the gentle caress and soft kisses from another human. He'd been alone for so long…
The baby didn't look newborn, thank the sea gods but it was so tiny and would most likely need food soon. It almost disappeared in his big arms. What was he to do with it? Taking it with him out on the sea was out of the question. He stared blankly down at the chubby baby face, letting a rough finger almost reverently caressing the soft cheek. Had he really been the co-creator of this tiny little creature? Of course, he couldn't be completely sure it was his, but the eyes were eerily similar to hers. He thought he recognized the nose, but thankfully it wasn't his. No, it reminded more of his little sister Hilda's.
Hilda. She knew what babies needed and how to care for them! She could help him, help the baby. First and foremost the baby. Maybe even… no, Aslak cut off the flow of new thoughts and hopes raised at the thought of his sister. It was pointless. She never wanted to see him again. Not after what he had done. But no matter how he twisted and turned it, his thoughts always returned to his little sister. The baby whined impatiently and Aslak knew time was running out. He couldn't stand there with the child all morning in the boat and stare at it. His sister could hate him all she wanted, but she would never say no to a helpless child.
The boat with the fisherman and his tiny little cargo, arrived in the cramped harbor belonging to the island Hilda inhabited, late in the afternoon. The air was cold and Aslak knew snow would fall soon. The ground was already covered in a thin layer of white. He moved carefully so as not to slip on any hidden patch of ice under the snow, as he left his boat and began the journey towards the house of his sister and her husband. The baby slept soundless under his warm cloak.
Hilda's red house with white house knots and window frames, was located on the hill overlooking the village, the harbor and the sea. A good spot for a man of the law, to alway be able to see which boats or ships came and went, as well as being able to see if anyone approached the house. Like Aslak did now, uninvited and most likely unwanted. He stopped at the gate, hesitated only a breath before opening it and continuing across the yard towards the house. He saw a movement in the windows. She knew he was here, he didn't have to wonder if she would ignore him or come out and greet him. The door slammed open and his sister marched out with her head held high. And a face as dark as the cliffs waves smashed against in a storm at night. Equally dangerous and deadly. She had not forgiven him. Why would she, after he abandoned her and hadn't seen her for years. Now he stood here, uninvited and without a single warning that he was coming. She didn't give him a chance to explain either, jumping at him like a wolf on an intruder.
"You have a lot of nerves to show your face here!!"
Aslak hastily took a few steps backwards, not wanting to give her a chance to slap him in the face even if he deserved it. He didn't wanted to risk hurting the baby either if she decided to hammer her fists at him. He could probably have fend her off easily with one arm, but wouldn't risk anything. If he only could show her the child she would stop immediately, he knew that, or hoped. Much could change in a year. He'd been gone for far more than one…
"Hilda, please…"
"Don't you come here and 'please' me! Do you really think you just can show up here now after all this time, trying to ask for my forgiveness? Or what? You want a favor from me!?"
Aslak had enough conscience to slouch his shoulders guiltily, but knew she had just started and would rant and scream even more if he didn't interrupted her. She paused a microsecond to inhale, more cannonballs ready to fire at him so instead of using his already useless words that had no effect on her, he acted instead. Aslak let the cloak fall aside so that the baby became visible. It whined when the sudden chilly December air pinched its nose and cheeks. As he'd expected, his sister became completely still. Had the sky not been cloud free, one could think lightning had struck her on the spot. Hilda was frozen in motion with wide-open staring eyes. The air had completely gone out of her, like an abandoned sail. He'd guessed the child would have this effect on her. Aslak liked and cherished children. Hilda loved them above all. She adored babies and had always wanted a dozen of her own. Sadly the gods never granted her that wish. She and her husband had tried and tried. By the look on her face, the sadness, longing and wish in her eyes, the desire for one was still there. It made something in him dare to breathe a little. It had not been in vain to travel here.
"Hilda-"
"Is it… is the baby yours?"
Hilda's earlier furious roaring voice was now barely audible. She didn't look at him. She couldn't take her eyes away from the baby. The longing in her eyes grew bigger, stronger. At the same time, she didn't seem to understand why he of all people would have a child.
"Yes. Would you like to hold her?"
"Her? It… it's a girl?"
Aslak nodded. He knew her greatest wish had always been a baby girl. He had found out the gender when he had somewhat fumbling changed on the little one, earlier in the boat. Slowly he readjusted his hold of the child, made it easier for her to receive and embrace the baby. She took a shaky breath, and he could hear her stifling sobs. Of sorrow or joy he wasn't sure.
"What's her name?" Hilda whispered, cooing as the baby whimpered again and began to rock her body to soothe the child.
"I thought you could help me name her, since… I wish to give her to you."
Then she looked at him sharply. Not angry, not yet. More accusingly.
"Me? So you have the guts to show your ugly snout here, just to leave your... your... kid on my doorsteps?"
She'd wanted to say bastard. He knew it. She knew it, but hadn't been able to. She could never call a child that. She knew it was never the child's fault. They were both bastard's themselves. So they would never say that foul word to an innocent child, let alone a helpless baby who hardly asked for such a life outside of marriage.
"Hilda, please. I don't beg you to do it for me, but for her. Please… she needs a mother. Not a fisherman."
Not a father like him. Hilda looked from him to the baby, and back. Her eyes softened just a tiny bit. She knew how much pain he'd been in after Mira. The loss of the love of his life and their son. How much he'd wanted a child too. Hilda had almost been as heartbroken as him over losing her sister-in-law and nephew. She and her husband had tried only for a year then to have children of their own. The pain of being childless was greater now. It had left its mark on her face, around her eyes and mouth that always otherwise had laugh lines.
"Hilda please", Aslak begged again. "I know I have no right too, but please. She would have a happier life, a better one, here with you and Nilsa."
Not in a poor fisher village. Not on a boat. Not with him.
"Hilda…"
"Yes. Yes of course. You know I'd never turn my back on a child. I'll care for her. I'll love her. As if she was my own."
Aslak breathed a sigh of relief. He had not believed she'd reject the child. Maybe him, but never a helpless child. Sure he'd had his doubts, but his gut had been right.
"Thank you… and… I'm sorry. For what I did. I know it's to late-"
She interrupted him by pulling him into her arms, with the baby and all. She was careful not to squeeze or hurt the child, but still somehow managed to hug him tightly.
"You silly, stupid, dumb fool!" She scolded him, would probably continue and say more but her voice failed her and she cried into his cloak. Tears of joy, sadness and other emotions.
"I know, I know", he agreed and patted her back carefully, slightly taken aback by suddenly being embraced by her instead of getting his throat ripped open. He kissed her forehead, overwhelmed and thankful. Then he cleared his throat. He'd never thought she would forgive him so quickly.
"Don't think you're forgiven just because you gifted me a daughter!" She said, as if she could read his thoughts. Like she always had done.
"I would never do", he replied, arms in the air as if she'd snapped after him with fangs. "But… may I please visit? I won't bother you and Nilsa, but I'd like to… see her. Again. One day. Please?"
He knew he probably was asking too much now. Still he hoped. Hilda had only her eyes for the child now. She caressed the soft chubby baby cheek and cooed when the baby made a sad face. The baby girl seemed to respond to her gently caring touch and yawned. Aslak waited, unknowing he held his breath again. His heart pounded in his ears.
"Whenever you want, brother. I could use a pair of extra hands while Nilsa is away, chasing outlaws and thieves."
Aslak chuckled, the joy and relief in his chest made it hard to keep the laughter down. Brother. It was a beginning. Hilda smiled too, that warm and mild smile of hers he remembered.
"I think I'll name her Doris", Hilda said affectionately.
Gift from the ocean.
"Happy Yule, Doris", Aslak said tenderly. His heart overflowing with emotions at the moment. As if sensing their shared fondness of her, Doris opened her sea blue eyes, peering up at them. She sneezed, making Hilda and Aslak laugh, before she closed her eyes again and contentedly huffed where she lay. Embraced and loved.
Aslak stared at the tiny bundle of blankets that laid on top of a thick rope roll in his boat. If he stared at it long enough, maybe it would evaporate into bubbles and disappear. A fool's hope and crazy to even think. Not even when he blinked had the bundle vanished.
"Aaaahhh bloody harpoons!" He cursed again, drawing a roughed big hand over his bearded face. Looking down again, he was once more confirmed that it was still there. More curse words left him, but he did it under his breath while he looked around. Not panicked or scared but wildly. Thankfully he was still alone by the docks, he knew it wouldn't be long though before someone, any of the other fishermen in the village would show up.
There was still time.
Looking at the bundle again his breath caught in his throat. It moved. A tiny pink hand shoot up and wiggled as if sensing he was near and wanting to be picked up. A low whimper came from under the blankets followed by more baby noises and whining.
"Oh crying sirens", Aslak sighed, kneeled down and carefully removed the blanket from the baby's face. Sea blue eyes stared back up at him and he swallowed hard. The same eyes as hers. There were no doubts about it anymore.
The lady he'd helped a few months ago, nine to be exact, maybe nine and a half or ten, had left him a very unwelcome gift after their heated night together. Molding crabs, it had only been one night He encountered her on his way home, she'd been waving from the shore so wildly he'd knew something was wrong. She had asked him to take her from the island to another, paid him well too so he hadn't asked any questions. Guessing she'd fled some brutal husband or unwanted future with one perhaps. He'd allowed the woman onboard and sailed her to her destination, even when he'd felt a storm approaching in the air. Aslak wasn't one of those superstitious sailors who didn't want women on board their boats. Maybe if he'd known the outcome he would have continued home instead of stopping that day.
The storm had forced him to seek cover in a sheltered bay at one of the smaller islands between the one they had come from and the one she wished to travel to. While they waited for the storm to pass, the woman had suddenly approached him. His first guess had been that she was afraid of the storm or cold, seeking comfort or warmth from another person. It had soon turned to a more heated act, which he hadn't complained or objected to. She had been a beautiful woman and had initiated it. He knew no sailor who could have said no to her or what followed. Now Aslak wished he had pushed her away. Had he known it would end with a baby in his boat. A baby! A child. He could not take care of a child. He had a hell of a time getting his own life together. A child didn't fit in and would not be able to live with him on the boat, nor could he manage the boat and worry about a child at the same time!
He wondered if he could look for the mother, the woman he'd met. He knew which island she was on, or rather had been at several months ago. She could be several miles away now. Apparently she didn't wanted the baby either as she somehow had managed to find him, or his boat, and left the baby there. Abandoned it. To him. Him… Not that Aslak had anything against children. He had always been fond of children, but knew he would never have any of his own. Not after he lost Mira. His Mira. She had died in childbirth, with their son. Never again. Never again had he said to himself. Until a woman with sea blue eyes had embraced him and had awoken that hunger, hunger for closeness and warmth from another body. Feel the gentle caress and soft kisses from another human. He'd been alone for so long…
The baby didn't look newborn, thank the sea gods but it was so tiny and would most likely need food soon. It almost disappeared in his big arms. What was he to do with it? Taking it with him out on the sea was out of the question. He stared blankly down at the chubby baby face, letting a rough finger almost reverently caressing the soft cheek. Had he really been the co-creator of this tiny little creature? Of course, he couldn't be completely sure it was his, but the eyes were eerily similar to hers. He thought he recognized the nose, but thankfully it wasn't his. No, it reminded more of his little sister Hilda's.
Hilda. She knew what babies needed and how to care for them! She could help him, help the baby. First and foremost the baby. Maybe even… no, Aslak cut off the flow of new thoughts and hopes raised at the thought of his sister. It was pointless. She never wanted to see him again. Not after what he had done. But no matter how he twisted and turned it, his thoughts always returned to his little sister. The baby whined impatiently and Aslak knew time was running out. He couldn't stand there with the child all morning in the boat and stare at it. His sister could hate him all she wanted, but she would never say no to a helpless child.
The boat with the fisherman and his tiny little cargo, arrived in the cramped harbor belonging to the island Hilda inhabited, late in the afternoon. The air was cold and Aslak knew snow would fall soon. The ground was already covered in a thin layer of white. He moved carefully so as not to slip on any hidden patch of ice under the snow, as he left his boat and began the journey towards the house of his sister and her husband. The baby slept soundless under his warm cloak.
Hilda's red house with white house knots and window frames, was located on the hill overlooking the village, the harbor and the sea. A good spot for a man of the law, to alway be able to see which boats or ships came and went, as well as being able to see if anyone approached the house. Like Aslak did now, uninvited and most likely unwanted. He stopped at the gate, hesitated only a breath before opening it and continuing across the yard towards the house. He saw a movement in the windows. She knew he was here, he didn't have to wonder if she would ignore him or come out and greet him. The door slammed open and his sister marched out with her head held high. And a face as dark as the cliffs waves smashed against in a storm at night. Equally dangerous and deadly. She had not forgiven him. Why would she, after he abandoned her and hadn't seen her for years. Now he stood here, uninvited and without a single warning that he was coming. She didn't give him a chance to explain either, jumping at him like a wolf on an intruder.
"You have a lot of nerves to show your face here!!"
Aslak hastily took a few steps backwards, not wanting to give her a chance to slap him in the face even if he deserved it. He didn't wanted to risk hurting the baby either if she decided to hammer her fists at him. He could probably have fend her off easily with one arm, but wouldn't risk anything. If he only could show her the child she would stop immediately, he knew that, or hoped. Much could change in a year. He'd been gone for far more than one…
"Hilda, please…"
"Don't you come here and 'please' me! Do you really think you just can show up here now after all this time, trying to ask for my forgiveness? Or what? You want a favor from me!?"
Aslak had enough conscience to slouch his shoulders guiltily, but knew she had just started and would rant and scream even more if he didn't interrupted her. She paused a microsecond to inhale, more cannonballs ready to fire at him so instead of using his already useless words that had no effect on her, he acted instead. Aslak let the cloak fall aside so that the baby became visible. It whined when the sudden chilly December air pinched its nose and cheeks. As he'd expected, his sister became completely still. Had the sky not been cloud free, one could think lightning had struck her on the spot. Hilda was frozen in motion with wide-open staring eyes. The air had completely gone out of her, like an abandoned sail. He'd guessed the child would have this effect on her. Aslak liked and cherished children. Hilda loved them above all. She adored babies and had always wanted a dozen of her own. Sadly the gods never granted her that wish. She and her husband had tried and tried. By the look on her face, the sadness, longing and wish in her eyes, the desire for one was still there. It made something in him dare to breathe a little. It had not been in vain to travel here.
"Hilda-"
"Is it… is the baby yours?"
Hilda's earlier furious roaring voice was now barely audible. She didn't look at him. She couldn't take her eyes away from the baby. The longing in her eyes grew bigger, stronger. At the same time, she didn't seem to understand why he of all people would have a child.
"Yes. Would you like to hold her?"
"Her? It… it's a girl?"
Aslak nodded. He knew her greatest wish had always been a baby girl. He had found out the gender when he had somewhat fumbling changed on the little one, earlier in the boat. Slowly he readjusted his hold of the child, made it easier for her to receive and embrace the baby. She took a shaky breath, and he could hear her stifling sobs. Of sorrow or joy he wasn't sure.
"What's her name?" Hilda whispered, cooing as the baby whimpered again and began to rock her body to soothe the child.
"I thought you could help me name her, since… I wish to give her to you."
Then she looked at him sharply. Not angry, not yet. More accusingly.
"Me? So you have the guts to show your ugly snout here, just to leave your... your... kid on my doorsteps?"
She'd wanted to say bastard. He knew it. She knew it, but hadn't been able to. She could never call a child that. She knew it was never the child's fault. They were both bastard's themselves. So they would never say that foul word to an innocent child, let alone a helpless baby who hardly asked for such a life outside of marriage.
"Hilda, please. I don't beg you to do it for me, but for her. Please… she needs a mother. Not a fisherman."
Not a father like him. Hilda looked from him to the baby, and back. Her eyes softened just a tiny bit. She knew how much pain he'd been in after Mira. The loss of the love of his life and their son. How much he'd wanted a child too. Hilda had almost been as heartbroken as him over losing her sister-in-law and nephew. She and her husband had tried only for a year then to have children of their own. The pain of being childless was greater now. It had left its mark on her face, around her eyes and mouth that always otherwise had laugh lines.
"Hilda please", Aslak begged again. "I know I have no right too, but please. She would have a happier life, a better one, here with you and Nilsa."
Not in a poor fisher village. Not on a boat. Not with him.
"Hilda…"
"Yes. Yes of course. You know I'd never turn my back on a child. I'll care for her. I'll love her. As if she was my own."
Aslak breathed a sigh of relief. He had not believed she'd reject the child. Maybe him, but never a helpless child. Sure he'd had his doubts, but his gut had been right.
"Thank you… and… I'm sorry. For what I did. I know it's to late-"
She interrupted him by pulling him into her arms, with the baby and all. She was careful not to squeeze or hurt the child, but still somehow managed to hug him tightly.
"You silly, stupid, dumb fool!" She scolded him, would probably continue and say more but her voice failed her and she cried into his cloak. Tears of joy, sadness and other emotions.
"I know, I know", he agreed and patted her back carefully, slightly taken aback by suddenly being embraced by her instead of getting his throat ripped open. He kissed her forehead, overwhelmed and thankful. Then he cleared his throat. He'd never thought she would forgive him so quickly.
"Don't think you're forgiven just because you gifted me a daughter!" She said, as if she could read his thoughts. Like she always had done.
"I would never do", he replied, arms in the air as if she'd snapped after him with fangs. "But… may I please visit? I won't bother you and Nilsa, but I'd like to… see her. Again. One day. Please?"
He knew he probably was asking too much now. Still he hoped. Hilda had only her eyes for the child now. She caressed the soft chubby baby cheek and cooed when the baby made a sad face. The baby girl seemed to respond to her gently caring touch and yawned. Aslak waited, unknowing he held his breath again. His heart pounded in his ears.
"Whenever you want, brother. I could use a pair of extra hands while Nilsa is away, chasing outlaws and thieves."
Aslak chuckled, the joy and relief in his chest made it hard to keep the laughter down. Brother. It was a beginning. Hilda smiled too, that warm and mild smile of hers he remembered.
"I think I'll name her Doris", Hilda said affectionately.
Gift from the ocean.
"Happy Yule, Doris", Aslak said tenderly. His heart overflowing with emotions at the moment. As if sensing their shared fondness of her, Doris opened her sea blue eyes, peering up at them. She sneezed, making Hilda and Aslak laugh, before she closed her eyes again and contentedly huffed where she lay. Embraced and loved.