"Ah, May… lovely May… when the sun begins to shine anew and warms my roots, banishing the slumber-inducing cold of the wretched winter months… I do love the Spring" mused Henry, a small patch of bright emerald green crabgrass "Although, I must be honest with myself… it does have a few drawbacks I do not so much look forward to… scampering human saplings ignorant of the innocent plants they trample upon, like this patch of crabgrass, just minding his own business and trying to enjoy the sweet, sweet solar energy he needs to convert water and carbon into delicious glucose"
As if on cue, high pitched giggling pierced the air as three children stampeded past Henry, just barely missing him in their haste to make it to the city park's merry go round.
"Where are these saplings' parents? Ugh, so rude, I do not consent to be squished and trampled! Alas, for what can a simple patch of crabgrass do against these destructive giants?"
If only however that the human saplings were the only problem Henry faced as the temperatures grew warmer… there was also the 'joggers' as Henry heard them call themselves more than once, those vicious creatures that stomped their massive appendages upon him, uncaring if they pained him or wrinkled his lovely blades of green. He was beginning to think rudeness was a mandatory human trait.
Bow wow wow wow!
"Oh yes…" Henry sighed miserably as a huge Saint Bernard pranced in his direction "Dogs… how many near misses and worse, hits did I suffer last Spring from their putrid sun blocking refuse? Oh far too many to recount… it took so many rains to wash away the filth from that one German Shepherd…"
The Saint Bernard approached Henry and leaned down to sniff at him with it's big black nose.
"Yes, yes, you big slobbering beast, I am a patch of crabgrass" Henry glowered at the dog, as if willing the obnoxious creature to hear his thoughts "I am sure my alluring green color calls to your more natural instincts… however I assure you, there are far better and more deserving places for your defecation… may I recommend the oak tree over by the swing set? He's quite the annoying old prattler, loves to go on and on about the good old days and how wise he is, blah, blah, blah… he could do with some humbling. So how about you go over there, hm?"
The dog turned around and began to squat.
"Dog… no… begone with you, you stupid behemoth!" Henry desperately thought at it "Begone I said!"
If a plant could wear an expression of horror as what was happening behind that dog… Henry certainly would be.
"No… no… noooooo!"
As if on cue, high pitched giggling pierced the air as three children stampeded past Henry, just barely missing him in their haste to make it to the city park's merry go round.
"Where are these saplings' parents? Ugh, so rude, I do not consent to be squished and trampled! Alas, for what can a simple patch of crabgrass do against these destructive giants?"
If only however that the human saplings were the only problem Henry faced as the temperatures grew warmer… there was also the 'joggers' as Henry heard them call themselves more than once, those vicious creatures that stomped their massive appendages upon him, uncaring if they pained him or wrinkled his lovely blades of green. He was beginning to think rudeness was a mandatory human trait.
Bow wow wow wow!
"Oh yes…" Henry sighed miserably as a huge Saint Bernard pranced in his direction "Dogs… how many near misses and worse, hits did I suffer last Spring from their putrid sun blocking refuse? Oh far too many to recount… it took so many rains to wash away the filth from that one German Shepherd…"
The Saint Bernard approached Henry and leaned down to sniff at him with it's big black nose.
"Yes, yes, you big slobbering beast, I am a patch of crabgrass" Henry glowered at the dog, as if willing the obnoxious creature to hear his thoughts "I am sure my alluring green color calls to your more natural instincts… however I assure you, there are far better and more deserving places for your defecation… may I recommend the oak tree over by the swing set? He's quite the annoying old prattler, loves to go on and on about the good old days and how wise he is, blah, blah, blah… he could do with some humbling. So how about you go over there, hm?"
The dog turned around and began to squat.
"Dog… no… begone with you, you stupid behemoth!" Henry desperately thought at it "Begone I said!"
If a plant could wear an expression of horror as what was happening behind that dog… Henry certainly would be.
"No… no… noooooo!"