Bartimaeus
Lost Spirit
Inner Sanctum Nobility
Amos was called in to work tonight. He was a host at the newest club in town, and one of the best. The client had requested him, and the code for the night was 'lover'. The club had four codes for hosts - lover, brother/sister, friend, or just host. Hosts were required to play their respective roles. However, they were not allowed to meet clients outside of the club. If a client was found to have met a host outside of the club, they would have to choose another host on their next visit. When using the code 'lover', the host had the option to choose whether or not they would allow kissing, for an additional fee. This was the only extra service that hosts were allowed to provide. For example, Amos had never kissed anyone since he started working as a host at the club.
The man was in his changing room getting ready for the night. His long blonde hair danced freely onto his shoulders and lower back. He was dressed in a splendid dark suit, with two buttons on his white shirt left unbuttoned. He had also prepared a dark red rose and stepped outside to wait for his client. As the perfect lover, Amos was good at reading people and knew exactly what his clients wanted and needed.
"Heya there, my sweet lover", a voice came from behind. Amos turned around so fast that he almost spilled his glass of water. Here she was again, It was the third time she came here just to torture him. This time she went too far. "Heya there, my perfect, sweet, bundle of joy!" his lips moved on their own, responding to that salute he knew too well, the salute he used to share with the one he loved so dearly. There she was, using the same haircut, same clothes, same perfume, and almost the same voice as his deceased lover. His heart stopped for a bit but it started to beat again when he saw the grin that lasted for a brief moment. She was enjoying this. There was no limit to the disgust she felt for him. With a deep breath, he gathered his thoughts and put on a smile, trying his best to play his role perfectly. But she was playing one as well. As they were dancing to a slow love song, she got closer to him. The familiar scent made him shiver and when she kissed him, Amos didn't pull away. He kissed her back with all he had, one arm tightly wrapped around her body, the other up, fingers caressing her cheek gently. "Yes, that's it! I want more!" she whispered.
The woman followed him home and he didn't chase her away. His apartment wasn't big but that huge window wall in his bedroom allowed the moon to provide the perfect light so he didn't even turn on the lights. She got close and hugged him from behind, whispering. "Show me more! You miss them too, right? Show me how much!"
The pain was too much and it clouded Amos's mind. He turned around and kissed her again with his everything. He gave her his all, everything her twin sibling lived and felt while they were together. She kept her eyes closed most of the time, but almost at the end she opened them and looked up at him. And then she saw his face, his eyes. Oh, how those eyes could tell a whole story without any words. His whole heart was mirrored in them. Tears started to fall on her cheeks, trembling fingers barely touching his cheek. His eyes were crying too, but with no tears. He had used them all. Amos pulled away, and sat on the side of the bed, looking outside the window, as he spoke in a low voice.
"There are not enough words to explain how much I loved your twin. No words can express how happy we were for those couple of months we lived together. We never regretted making that step even if that meant having your family as an enemy. I was on my way home from work and they were going to buy some stuff for dinner when that car jumped into the store through the window. I ran towards the hospital as fast as I could when I got the call. I was the contact number in case something happened. But when I got there your family had already arrived. They didn't even let me ask how they were. I got kicked out of the hospital and wasn't allowed to enter anymore. I spent three nights in front of that hospital waiting for some news."
Amos stopped for a second, just to take in a deep breath, then he continued with the story, "There was this nurse lady that took pity on me. She always made sure to keep me updated. The day your twin gained consciousness again she was on duty and came fast to tell me that they were awake. I was so happy and full of hope. Little did I know what was following. She told me later that when she got back, your twin was crying and begging your parents to let them see me. They didn't even wanna hear it and your twin was so weak that they could barely speak. The nurse then stepped in and delivered the message I sent. That I am right there and not going anywhere and that I love them very much and always will. Your twin smiled. Their last words were that they love me and always will as well. I knew when they died. I felt my heart breaking into pieces while hearing their voice telling me these words. The nurse found me outside and told me what happened. When your parents came out they threw all their hate at me and blamed me for everything. I was just begging them on my knees to let me just say goodbye. They refused categorically and I was chased away from there."
The man's voice was low and had a soft cadence. his head fell forward and the beautiful strands of long hair covered his face. "I went to the funeral but your family used whatever influence they had to make sure I couldn't get closer. So I sat at a distance and I said goodbye to the love of my life without being able to see them for one last time. After everyone left I managed to get closer to the grave and sat there, on the cold mud, watching the name engraved on the cross. I drank a lot those days and nights and cried all the tears I had until I felt empty. I couldn't breathe or bear the fact that I was alive and the person I loved wasn't. I cut my veins so deep and with so much sorrow hoping I would die too. I couldn't bear us to be apart any longer and I thought that if I died we could be reunited. My best friend, worried, searched for me anywhere till he found me there, almost dead, on your twin's grave. Because of the cuts, I couldn't play the piano anymore ... Not those songs that your twin loved so much. I cut them stubbornly again, asking God to take me to the one I loved so much. My life didn't have any more meaning at all. I got found again and spent three months locked in a room in a mental institute."
He raised his head and finally, more clear tears sparkled in his eyes. "You and your family hated me and our relationship so much. I never understood why. We were in love, we were happy. What was there to hate with so much passion? What other things were more important than happiness?" Amos turned around to look at the girl who was crying silently on top of his bed, wrapped in bedsheets. "You held so much grudge against me that you tried to shatter what's left of my heart to pieces. Coming to my workplace again tonight wearing the same haircut, and clothes and even using the same voice and perfume. Why am I to be hated? What wrong have I ever done to you? That I loved your twin more than my life? That I made them happy? You guys placed your hate above their feelings and denied them their last wish. And I am to blame and to be hated? I guess you've got what you wanted from me, right? Did it help you hate me even more?"
He spoke these last words with low breath. There was so much sadness in his tone and his eyes, his whole expression ... They were making the girl cry even more. She felt so guilty and tainted. She had never seen anyone grieving so much and she knew for sure that no one in her family ever felt so much despair as this man. She was wrong ... So wrong she felt suffocating. Amos left the room and she looked around her. The walls were filled with pictures of them together, love notes on the mirror, and her twin's things still on the night table. "What have I done? Oh God! What have I done?!" she asked herself burying her face in the pillow, screaming and crying all the pain she was feeling now. The image of his eyes following her, that look they had when they both finished, the love mirrored them, and then ... the despair and sadness. All those emotions were so heavy. She had no idea how Amos was still able to walk and talk and work without going insane. Those scars on his wrists were more proof of their love, his sadness, and her family's injustice.
The door opened and Amos sat on the edge of the bed, his arm gently caressing her head. "I don't hate you! How could I ever hate the image of the one I truly loved?"
The man was in his changing room getting ready for the night. His long blonde hair danced freely onto his shoulders and lower back. He was dressed in a splendid dark suit, with two buttons on his white shirt left unbuttoned. He had also prepared a dark red rose and stepped outside to wait for his client. As the perfect lover, Amos was good at reading people and knew exactly what his clients wanted and needed.
"Heya there, my sweet lover", a voice came from behind. Amos turned around so fast that he almost spilled his glass of water. Here she was again, It was the third time she came here just to torture him. This time she went too far. "Heya there, my perfect, sweet, bundle of joy!" his lips moved on their own, responding to that salute he knew too well, the salute he used to share with the one he loved so dearly. There she was, using the same haircut, same clothes, same perfume, and almost the same voice as his deceased lover. His heart stopped for a bit but it started to beat again when he saw the grin that lasted for a brief moment. She was enjoying this. There was no limit to the disgust she felt for him. With a deep breath, he gathered his thoughts and put on a smile, trying his best to play his role perfectly. But she was playing one as well. As they were dancing to a slow love song, she got closer to him. The familiar scent made him shiver and when she kissed him, Amos didn't pull away. He kissed her back with all he had, one arm tightly wrapped around her body, the other up, fingers caressing her cheek gently. "Yes, that's it! I want more!" she whispered.
The woman followed him home and he didn't chase her away. His apartment wasn't big but that huge window wall in his bedroom allowed the moon to provide the perfect light so he didn't even turn on the lights. She got close and hugged him from behind, whispering. "Show me more! You miss them too, right? Show me how much!"
The pain was too much and it clouded Amos's mind. He turned around and kissed her again with his everything. He gave her his all, everything her twin sibling lived and felt while they were together. She kept her eyes closed most of the time, but almost at the end she opened them and looked up at him. And then she saw his face, his eyes. Oh, how those eyes could tell a whole story without any words. His whole heart was mirrored in them. Tears started to fall on her cheeks, trembling fingers barely touching his cheek. His eyes were crying too, but with no tears. He had used them all. Amos pulled away, and sat on the side of the bed, looking outside the window, as he spoke in a low voice.
"There are not enough words to explain how much I loved your twin. No words can express how happy we were for those couple of months we lived together. We never regretted making that step even if that meant having your family as an enemy. I was on my way home from work and they were going to buy some stuff for dinner when that car jumped into the store through the window. I ran towards the hospital as fast as I could when I got the call. I was the contact number in case something happened. But when I got there your family had already arrived. They didn't even let me ask how they were. I got kicked out of the hospital and wasn't allowed to enter anymore. I spent three nights in front of that hospital waiting for some news."
Amos stopped for a second, just to take in a deep breath, then he continued with the story, "There was this nurse lady that took pity on me. She always made sure to keep me updated. The day your twin gained consciousness again she was on duty and came fast to tell me that they were awake. I was so happy and full of hope. Little did I know what was following. She told me later that when she got back, your twin was crying and begging your parents to let them see me. They didn't even wanna hear it and your twin was so weak that they could barely speak. The nurse then stepped in and delivered the message I sent. That I am right there and not going anywhere and that I love them very much and always will. Your twin smiled. Their last words were that they love me and always will as well. I knew when they died. I felt my heart breaking into pieces while hearing their voice telling me these words. The nurse found me outside and told me what happened. When your parents came out they threw all their hate at me and blamed me for everything. I was just begging them on my knees to let me just say goodbye. They refused categorically and I was chased away from there."
The man's voice was low and had a soft cadence. his head fell forward and the beautiful strands of long hair covered his face. "I went to the funeral but your family used whatever influence they had to make sure I couldn't get closer. So I sat at a distance and I said goodbye to the love of my life without being able to see them for one last time. After everyone left I managed to get closer to the grave and sat there, on the cold mud, watching the name engraved on the cross. I drank a lot those days and nights and cried all the tears I had until I felt empty. I couldn't breathe or bear the fact that I was alive and the person I loved wasn't. I cut my veins so deep and with so much sorrow hoping I would die too. I couldn't bear us to be apart any longer and I thought that if I died we could be reunited. My best friend, worried, searched for me anywhere till he found me there, almost dead, on your twin's grave. Because of the cuts, I couldn't play the piano anymore ... Not those songs that your twin loved so much. I cut them stubbornly again, asking God to take me to the one I loved so much. My life didn't have any more meaning at all. I got found again and spent three months locked in a room in a mental institute."
He raised his head and finally, more clear tears sparkled in his eyes. "You and your family hated me and our relationship so much. I never understood why. We were in love, we were happy. What was there to hate with so much passion? What other things were more important than happiness?" Amos turned around to look at the girl who was crying silently on top of his bed, wrapped in bedsheets. "You held so much grudge against me that you tried to shatter what's left of my heart to pieces. Coming to my workplace again tonight wearing the same haircut, and clothes and even using the same voice and perfume. Why am I to be hated? What wrong have I ever done to you? That I loved your twin more than my life? That I made them happy? You guys placed your hate above their feelings and denied them their last wish. And I am to blame and to be hated? I guess you've got what you wanted from me, right? Did it help you hate me even more?"
He spoke these last words with low breath. There was so much sadness in his tone and his eyes, his whole expression ... They were making the girl cry even more. She felt so guilty and tainted. She had never seen anyone grieving so much and she knew for sure that no one in her family ever felt so much despair as this man. She was wrong ... So wrong she felt suffocating. Amos left the room and she looked around her. The walls were filled with pictures of them together, love notes on the mirror, and her twin's things still on the night table. "What have I done? Oh God! What have I done?!" she asked herself burying her face in the pillow, screaming and crying all the pain she was feeling now. The image of his eyes following her, that look they had when they both finished, the love mirrored them, and then ... the despair and sadness. All those emotions were so heavy. She had no idea how Amos was still able to walk and talk and work without going insane. Those scars on his wrists were more proof of their love, his sadness, and her family's injustice.
The door opened and Amos sat on the edge of the bed, his arm gently caressing her head. "I don't hate you! How could I ever hate the image of the one I truly loved?"