Avarice West
High Priest of Shenanigans
Dungeon Master
Inner Sanctum Nobility
♔ Champion ♔
[Disclaimer: The animals mentioned in this story are not animals at all but are in fact human college students. The little girl mentioned in this story is in fact over the age of 18, and is also a human college student. The writer makes no speculation about the man in the hat. He might be any age or species, except in the case that his age or species proves to be a violation of the rules of the Sanctum. The writer holds no responsibility for how you might imagine the man in the hat after reading this disclaimer.]
March...
It was early in March and much too cold for sunbathing, but the idea of the sun on her skin after the long drab winter was too much to resist. She put her bikini top on under her blouse, grabbed a blanket and went out onto the quad to find a spot free of shade.
The man in the top hat had been leering at her even before she took her shirt off.
It really was too cold! Her nipples jutted against the taught fabric of the bikini as sharp and pointed as tacks. Part of her wanted to put her shirt back on and go inside, but she'd always struggled with letting go of an insane idea once she had committed to it. Besides, she had an audience now. The man in the top hat continued to watch her with great interest, and she loved being watched!
She laid back on her blanket with her eyes closed trying to imagine herself into July, without goose pimples on her skin and shivers running through her body. The air got suddenly colder and opened her eyes to see the man in the hat standing over her. "You're in my sun," she said, annoyed.
"Do you have documentation?" He asked as he moved around her, freeing her from his shade and admiring the view from a different angle.
"Documentation?" She shaded her eyes with her hand and squinted up at him.
"Of ownership..." he explained, "of the sun."
She rolled her eyes but smiled despite the sheer stupidity of his joke. She had a soft spot for dorks and weirdos.
"Would you care for some tea?" He sat down on the edge of her blanket and began unpacking a large picnic basket that he'd brought with him.
He poured tea from a thermos into proper china tea cups which he set out on proper china saucers. The cups and saucers did not match. Then he pulled out half a baguette, a dish of butter, and a tin of cookies. "Do you take milk and sugar?" He asked.
She sat up wanting a better look at him, and discovered that he was exceptionally good looking. "Yes," she said.
"Too bad," he retorted, "I didn't bring any."
She laughed at his mad manners.
He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket but the screen failed to light up regardless of his insistent tapping and swiping. "I wanted to ask for your phone number, but it appears to be broken."
"Let me see," she said, as if offering to fix it.
He handed her the phone. She extracted it from its casing and removed the battery. She used the little butter knife to apply a generous smear of butter, then put it all back together and placed it in his hand.
He pitched the phone across the quad and lunged at her, pinning her on the ground and overturning the little tea cups in the process. Her smile was simultaneously innocent and wicked. He smiled back and then kissed her fiercely.
She knew this was the start of something beautiful!
April...
She met the Mouse in the library. He had fallen asleep while studying, probably some tedious subject like pre-med or pre-law. He sat with his face propped against his hand, snoring softly, and drooling onto a big reference book. She kicked his chair, very intentionally, and startled him awake. He thanked her and then scampered away. She never expected to see him again.
It was surprising then when the studious little rodent approached the tea party, which had by now become a regular occurrence. He asked if he could join them, offering some exhausting explanation about his schedule and not having time to eat between classes, blah, blah, blah.
"You can if you like," she answered, "but we're probably going to be terribly mean to you."
"Might even rough you up a bit," the man in the hat added.
"He's the jealous type, and I don't much like to share," she said.
"Really?" the Mouse asked. He sat down with them anyway.
He looked as if he were about to tell them something important but he stopped. A few moments later he tried again. "I'm not sure if I should tell you this... It's kind of weird..."
"Weird?" said the man, "Well in that case you simply must tell us."
"Oh yes!" she agreed, "We love weird confessions!"
"I've always wanted to... you know... try some kinky stuff... like being roughed up and bossed around... I told my ex-girlfriend about it. I think that's why she broke up with me."
"The harlot!" she exclaimed.
"The hag!" the man agreed. Then always eager to make the first move in any relationship, the man in the hat grabbed the mouse, twisted his arm behind his back and pushed his face against the grass.
The Mouse made a sound that was half squeal , and half moan. The man leaned in closer to speak into his ear while simultaneously torquing the Mouse's arm harder, "When you've had enough, just say..."
"Uncle! Uncle!" The mouse squeaked.
The man in the hat eased up, but did not release his victim, "Not 'uncle'" the man corrected, "You must say 'treacle!'"
"Treacle!" the Mouse cried, delighted.
The man let the Mouse up and ordered him to serve the tea.
"Oh yes, Master," the Mouse agreed.
"Never call me Master," the man corrected. "You must always call me Most Holy Hatter." He took his hat off and poked his finger though a worn spot in the hat as evidence of his holiness. Then he put the hat back on his head.
She had never seen the man without his hat. He might take it off for a moment to tip it toward a passing stranger, but it always went right back on. He even wore it during sex. The hole he showed mouse had happened when the hat got crushed against the headboard of his bed during a particularly feisty romp.
"May I call you Mistress?" Mouse asked, turning his attention to the lady.
"If you do, I'll slap you silly!"
"Yes please, Mistress..." he begged. She slapped him hard across the face, leaving a pink hand print on his cheek. The Mouse did become much sillier after that. He amused his new friends with ridiculous stories as he served and shared their tea and cakes.
The mouse didn't make it to his next class. He didn't attend any more classes for the rest of the day.
May...
The threesome had started their party with Mouse playing the part of a table while also attempting to study for his spring finals. He had been falling behind in some of his classes, though the Hatter and the Hare could hardly understand why. The only thing he ever did was study.
When the Mouse first started to fall asleep, his friends poked at him and pinched him to keep him awake. He was supposed to be studying, and besides he made a really lousy table when he started to pitch and sway from exhaustion. More tea was soaked into the back of his shirt than was left in their cups.
After a while they gave up and let him rest. He laid out flat across the blanket his arms folded on top of his open book and his head resting atop his arms. Hare used Mouse like a cushion with her elbows poking into his back and her chin propped on her hands, so she could watch the Hatter as he gesticulated and ranted.
She was just thinking how much she adored the Hatter when a lost little girl wandered up to the tea party. Hare was intentionally rude and unpleasant and specifically told the girl to go away. Instead the girl sat down and tried to pour herself some tea, only to find that the tea was cold, the thermos was nearly empty and the cups were filthy enough to make her think twice about using one.
The Hatter showed a lot of interest in the little girl, and by the time he started asking riddles and singing made up lyrics to popular children's songs Hare knew that he was smitten.
Hare looked the girl over critically. She was undeniably hot. The girl had long strait blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore the perfect amount of make up, and a low cut shirt with a cardigan that had a sorority pin on the lapel. Her breasts were large and perfect too.
Hatter shoved Hare off of the Mouse and insisted he wake up to tell their guest a story. Mouse rubbed his eyes, stretched, yawned and then did as he was told. He began to tell a story, but the little girl kept interrupting him with stupid questions, and the story never really got started.
Hare was relieved when the girl, whose name was Alice, thanked them politely and said she had to go. "I'm supposed to meet a friend at a coffee shop in a little while, and I'm not really sure where I'm going. Your tea party seems really fun though. I just love theater majors! I auditioned for a few things back at my school. I played Juliet in high school even, but I decided to major in Home Economics. I'm planning on transferring over to this campus in the fall. Maybe I'll get to do a play with you sometime!"
The Hare scowled at the presumption that she was a Theater Major. Hare was a student of Theoretical Physics, at least that's how they had her listed in the system.
Alice got up and walked away looking first this way and then that, trying to get her barrings. That's when the Hatter got up and started after her. He stopped and turned back. He took off his top hat and his patched up coat with tails. He dropped these on Hare's blanket and then sprinted to catch Alice before she disappeared from sight. Without his hat and coat, he looked so bland. He wore a plain white tee-shirt and jeans.
Mouse looked at Hare with a hopeful expression, as if to ask... now that Hatter is out of the picture is there any chance you'd be willing to sleep with me? Hare stood up and ordered Mouse to grab her blanket. "What should I do with the rest of this stuff?" he asked.
"Just leave it," she said. It was possible that the Hatter might decide to come back to her, but even if he did it wouldn't be the same. She could forgive him for wanting to sleep with Alice, but she could never forgive him for taking off his hat before chasing after her. As if everything that Hare found wonderful and interesting about him had been nothing more than a meaningless game.
Hare decided to fuck Mouse like the rabbit that she was, though she couldn't imagine the affair lasting long. He was just too docile and sweet for her taste, but he was a damn sight better than whatever it was that the Hatter had turned out to be.
March...
It was early in March and much too cold for sunbathing, but the idea of the sun on her skin after the long drab winter was too much to resist. She put her bikini top on under her blouse, grabbed a blanket and went out onto the quad to find a spot free of shade.
The man in the top hat had been leering at her even before she took her shirt off.
It really was too cold! Her nipples jutted against the taught fabric of the bikini as sharp and pointed as tacks. Part of her wanted to put her shirt back on and go inside, but she'd always struggled with letting go of an insane idea once she had committed to it. Besides, she had an audience now. The man in the top hat continued to watch her with great interest, and she loved being watched!
She laid back on her blanket with her eyes closed trying to imagine herself into July, without goose pimples on her skin and shivers running through her body. The air got suddenly colder and opened her eyes to see the man in the hat standing over her. "You're in my sun," she said, annoyed.
"Do you have documentation?" He asked as he moved around her, freeing her from his shade and admiring the view from a different angle.
"Documentation?" She shaded her eyes with her hand and squinted up at him.
"Of ownership..." he explained, "of the sun."
She rolled her eyes but smiled despite the sheer stupidity of his joke. She had a soft spot for dorks and weirdos.
"Would you care for some tea?" He sat down on the edge of her blanket and began unpacking a large picnic basket that he'd brought with him.
He poured tea from a thermos into proper china tea cups which he set out on proper china saucers. The cups and saucers did not match. Then he pulled out half a baguette, a dish of butter, and a tin of cookies. "Do you take milk and sugar?" He asked.
She sat up wanting a better look at him, and discovered that he was exceptionally good looking. "Yes," she said.
"Too bad," he retorted, "I didn't bring any."
She laughed at his mad manners.
He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket but the screen failed to light up regardless of his insistent tapping and swiping. "I wanted to ask for your phone number, but it appears to be broken."
"Let me see," she said, as if offering to fix it.
He handed her the phone. She extracted it from its casing and removed the battery. She used the little butter knife to apply a generous smear of butter, then put it all back together and placed it in his hand.
He pitched the phone across the quad and lunged at her, pinning her on the ground and overturning the little tea cups in the process. Her smile was simultaneously innocent and wicked. He smiled back and then kissed her fiercely.
She knew this was the start of something beautiful!
April...
She met the Mouse in the library. He had fallen asleep while studying, probably some tedious subject like pre-med or pre-law. He sat with his face propped against his hand, snoring softly, and drooling onto a big reference book. She kicked his chair, very intentionally, and startled him awake. He thanked her and then scampered away. She never expected to see him again.
It was surprising then when the studious little rodent approached the tea party, which had by now become a regular occurrence. He asked if he could join them, offering some exhausting explanation about his schedule and not having time to eat between classes, blah, blah, blah.
"You can if you like," she answered, "but we're probably going to be terribly mean to you."
"Might even rough you up a bit," the man in the hat added.
"He's the jealous type, and I don't much like to share," she said.
"Really?" the Mouse asked. He sat down with them anyway.
He looked as if he were about to tell them something important but he stopped. A few moments later he tried again. "I'm not sure if I should tell you this... It's kind of weird..."
"Weird?" said the man, "Well in that case you simply must tell us."
"Oh yes!" she agreed, "We love weird confessions!"
"I've always wanted to... you know... try some kinky stuff... like being roughed up and bossed around... I told my ex-girlfriend about it. I think that's why she broke up with me."
"The harlot!" she exclaimed.
"The hag!" the man agreed. Then always eager to make the first move in any relationship, the man in the hat grabbed the mouse, twisted his arm behind his back and pushed his face against the grass.
The Mouse made a sound that was half squeal , and half moan. The man leaned in closer to speak into his ear while simultaneously torquing the Mouse's arm harder, "When you've had enough, just say..."
"Uncle! Uncle!" The mouse squeaked.
The man in the hat eased up, but did not release his victim, "Not 'uncle'" the man corrected, "You must say 'treacle!'"
"Treacle!" the Mouse cried, delighted.
The man let the Mouse up and ordered him to serve the tea.
"Oh yes, Master," the Mouse agreed.
"Never call me Master," the man corrected. "You must always call me Most Holy Hatter." He took his hat off and poked his finger though a worn spot in the hat as evidence of his holiness. Then he put the hat back on his head.
She had never seen the man without his hat. He might take it off for a moment to tip it toward a passing stranger, but it always went right back on. He even wore it during sex. The hole he showed mouse had happened when the hat got crushed against the headboard of his bed during a particularly feisty romp.
"May I call you Mistress?" Mouse asked, turning his attention to the lady.
"If you do, I'll slap you silly!"
"Yes please, Mistress..." he begged. She slapped him hard across the face, leaving a pink hand print on his cheek. The Mouse did become much sillier after that. He amused his new friends with ridiculous stories as he served and shared their tea and cakes.
The mouse didn't make it to his next class. He didn't attend any more classes for the rest of the day.
May...
The threesome had started their party with Mouse playing the part of a table while also attempting to study for his spring finals. He had been falling behind in some of his classes, though the Hatter and the Hare could hardly understand why. The only thing he ever did was study.
When the Mouse first started to fall asleep, his friends poked at him and pinched him to keep him awake. He was supposed to be studying, and besides he made a really lousy table when he started to pitch and sway from exhaustion. More tea was soaked into the back of his shirt than was left in their cups.
After a while they gave up and let him rest. He laid out flat across the blanket his arms folded on top of his open book and his head resting atop his arms. Hare used Mouse like a cushion with her elbows poking into his back and her chin propped on her hands, so she could watch the Hatter as he gesticulated and ranted.
She was just thinking how much she adored the Hatter when a lost little girl wandered up to the tea party. Hare was intentionally rude and unpleasant and specifically told the girl to go away. Instead the girl sat down and tried to pour herself some tea, only to find that the tea was cold, the thermos was nearly empty and the cups were filthy enough to make her think twice about using one.
The Hatter showed a lot of interest in the little girl, and by the time he started asking riddles and singing made up lyrics to popular children's songs Hare knew that he was smitten.
Hare looked the girl over critically. She was undeniably hot. The girl had long strait blonde hair and blue eyes. She wore the perfect amount of make up, and a low cut shirt with a cardigan that had a sorority pin on the lapel. Her breasts were large and perfect too.
Hatter shoved Hare off of the Mouse and insisted he wake up to tell their guest a story. Mouse rubbed his eyes, stretched, yawned and then did as he was told. He began to tell a story, but the little girl kept interrupting him with stupid questions, and the story never really got started.
Hare was relieved when the girl, whose name was Alice, thanked them politely and said she had to go. "I'm supposed to meet a friend at a coffee shop in a little while, and I'm not really sure where I'm going. Your tea party seems really fun though. I just love theater majors! I auditioned for a few things back at my school. I played Juliet in high school even, but I decided to major in Home Economics. I'm planning on transferring over to this campus in the fall. Maybe I'll get to do a play with you sometime!"
The Hare scowled at the presumption that she was a Theater Major. Hare was a student of Theoretical Physics, at least that's how they had her listed in the system.
Alice got up and walked away looking first this way and then that, trying to get her barrings. That's when the Hatter got up and started after her. He stopped and turned back. He took off his top hat and his patched up coat with tails. He dropped these on Hare's blanket and then sprinted to catch Alice before she disappeared from sight. Without his hat and coat, he looked so bland. He wore a plain white tee-shirt and jeans.
Mouse looked at Hare with a hopeful expression, as if to ask... now that Hatter is out of the picture is there any chance you'd be willing to sleep with me? Hare stood up and ordered Mouse to grab her blanket. "What should I do with the rest of this stuff?" he asked.
"Just leave it," she said. It was possible that the Hatter might decide to come back to her, but even if he did it wouldn't be the same. She could forgive him for wanting to sleep with Alice, but she could never forgive him for taking off his hat before chasing after her. As if everything that Hare found wonderful and interesting about him had been nothing more than a meaningless game.
Hare decided to fuck Mouse like the rabbit that she was, though she couldn't imagine the affair lasting long. He was just too docile and sweet for her taste, but he was a damn sight better than whatever it was that the Hatter had turned out to be.
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