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- In the Dark places of your mind....
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I kept secrets about me because the world said that a mask was important. You need to fit in. You need to become 'like everyone else'.
These secrets were contained in a small box in my mind marked as "unacceptable" for years. I am autistic. I think in ways that often make others uncomfortable. I am ADHD. I didn't get the nicknames "Pern" (a small dragon) or "kitten" for nothing. I am Alternative Identity Disorder. I share my mindspace with many others, all whom I appreciate. I am also Transgender, and Demisexual. Those last two are parts of me that fall into this month. But all of it makes up me- and most of it society does not enjoy seeing or hearing about. It's too different.
But one day the mask broke. I found myself digging through the box, and I realized something. I like me. I like ALL of me. The sum of my parts. I no longer want the mask. I won't wear it. All of those who live within me gave me a new way to live. From them I began to state "I am unapologetically me". I won't hide. I won't soften the blow. Those who made Pride Month possible would have encouraged me to step out into the light and fight for the ability to be me. It is not easy. No one said it would be. It's more than worth it, so won't you join me in the days to come? Let's make this world a better place- by refusing to hide ourselves in their neat boxes. Some secrets are just not worth keeping, they are meant to be shared so that others do not need to feel as alone as we did.
I am still working on not letting the world tell me I need to be a certain way, think a certain way, or love a certain way. I am still unlearning the belief that if I do not fit their mold of success that I do not deserve to be happy or feel fulfilled. It's going to take a lot, but I do not mean, nor want, to do it alone. I do not want to keep myself, who I am, or rather, who we are, a secret anymore. I am happy when we let go. When those inside me aren't just seen as entertainment, but as parts of me worth respect, love, and understanding. I am happy walking outside as I am- a transman who fought hard to be where he is. I am proud of my 14 year relationship with my SO, and both my kids. My family and life do not fit in a neat little box in the corner- and I refuse to let anyone put it there.
It's scary, but it's always worth it. I will stand up for a better world. I hope this Pride Month, everyone else will feel the same way.
These secrets were contained in a small box in my mind marked as "unacceptable" for years. I am autistic. I think in ways that often make others uncomfortable. I am ADHD. I didn't get the nicknames "Pern" (a small dragon) or "kitten" for nothing. I am Alternative Identity Disorder. I share my mindspace with many others, all whom I appreciate. I am also Transgender, and Demisexual. Those last two are parts of me that fall into this month. But all of it makes up me- and most of it society does not enjoy seeing or hearing about. It's too different.
But one day the mask broke. I found myself digging through the box, and I realized something. I like me. I like ALL of me. The sum of my parts. I no longer want the mask. I won't wear it. All of those who live within me gave me a new way to live. From them I began to state "I am unapologetically me". I won't hide. I won't soften the blow. Those who made Pride Month possible would have encouraged me to step out into the light and fight for the ability to be me. It is not easy. No one said it would be. It's more than worth it, so won't you join me in the days to come? Let's make this world a better place- by refusing to hide ourselves in their neat boxes. Some secrets are just not worth keeping, they are meant to be shared so that others do not need to feel as alone as we did.
I am still working on not letting the world tell me I need to be a certain way, think a certain way, or love a certain way. I am still unlearning the belief that if I do not fit their mold of success that I do not deserve to be happy or feel fulfilled. It's going to take a lot, but I do not mean, nor want, to do it alone. I do not want to keep myself, who I am, or rather, who we are, a secret anymore. I am happy when we let go. When those inside me aren't just seen as entertainment, but as parts of me worth respect, love, and understanding. I am happy walking outside as I am- a transman who fought hard to be where he is. I am proud of my 14 year relationship with my SO, and both my kids. My family and life do not fit in a neat little box in the corner- and I refuse to let anyone put it there.
It's scary, but it's always worth it. I will stand up for a better world. I hope this Pride Month, everyone else will feel the same way.