I included as many as I could.
I hope you enjoy my poorly written silliness.
1 - A demon
2 - The statement "Blame James"
3 - An Imp and an easily distracted Dryad
4 - A very polite Changeling
5 - A sleepy dragon
6 - A Goblin Bard that tries to seduce anything
7 - A Bloody flower and a Stray Cat
8 - Rawr, our site's emoji Dino, doing one of their many jobs
9 - The names of at least three of our site themes: Nightshade, Zen, Lace, Leather, Blossom, Faewild, Princess.
10 - Any two references to our site moods: Violent, Thirsty, A-Roar-Able, Princess, Shadow Realm.
I hope you enjoy my poorly written silliness.
1 - A demon
2 - The statement "Blame James"
3 - An Imp and an easily distracted Dryad
4 - A very polite Changeling
5 - A sleepy dragon
6 - A Goblin Bard that tries to seduce anything
7 - A Bloody flower and a Stray Cat
8 - Rawr, our site's emoji Dino, doing one of their many jobs
9 - The names of at least three of our site themes: Nightshade, Zen, Lace, Leather, Blossom, Faewild, Princess.
10 - Any two references to our site moods: Violent, Thirsty, A-Roar-Able, Princess, Shadow Realm.
The town crier's bell rang out through the kingdom of Sanctuary, accompanied by the latest newsflash, shouted at full volume. The kingdom's subjects prayed that he'd lose his voice, just for a little while, so they could get some peace and quiet.
"Hear ye, hear ye! Hear all about it!" the crier cried, dressed in the medieval version of what a newspaper boy would wear. "The demon known as Nightshade, has placed a terrible curse upon our beloved dragon! Why has he done this? What does the curse entail?? More at eleven!"
"Just tell us now, you walking loud speaker!" One of the nearby peasants shouted back.
The town crier shrugged and continued his full volume shouting. "Our beloved dragon, Zen, has been placed under a sleeping curse! If no one can wake her we will all surely freeze! The king has said nothing about this incident and declined an exclusive interview!"
Within minutes an angry mob had formed and arrived at the castle doors, banging on them with the fury of a mildly inconvenienced orc. After ten minutes of banging, the king finally stepped out onto his royal balcony, disheveled and dressed in his royal bathrobe and bunny slippers. He was hungover from drinking all night with a visiting group of water nymphs.
"What? What is it?! Why dost thou bang upon my doors at such an unholy hour??"
"It's past noon!" A peasant shouted.
"Why didn't you tell us Zen had been cursed?!" Another asked.
"Without her fire sending heat through the underground heating system we will all freeze to death!" Another cried. "How could you let this happen?!"
The king pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Blameth James." He said, pointing at the captain of the guard. "Twas he who was in charge of keeping the door to her chamber guarded."
As the angry mob turned their attention onto the captain of the guard, the king shuffled back to bed, closing his balcony doors behind him. The captain raised his hands to placate the crowd. "Now now, let's not lose our heads. I've already sent out guards to apprehend Nightshade. Surely something can be done for Zen in the meantime. Sleeping curses are often fixable."
"We could go to the old witch in the woods!" One peasant suggested.
"No, not her! She turned me into a newt."
The not-as-angry mob turned to look at the man who said that, staring curiously at his unbearably average appearance.
"...I got better," he mumbled sheepishly.
"Zen needs true love's kiss! That always wakes the sleeping princesses!"
The captain shook his head. "No no, kissing someone without consent is weird and love isn't instant. Besides, I don't think we could find another dragon on such short notice, especially this time of year."
The mob mumbled amongst themselves in agreement.
"What about a party of adventurers? The kingdom next door called upon one of those when their queen came down with a case of polka dot chicken pox. They found medicine for her right quick. Maybe they could find something to help our dear dragon?"
"Hm... That's a great idea, random peasant!" The captain praised, calling forth his second in command. "Send out letters to the nearest adventurer guild and see if they have anyone who might be able to help."
"Do it yourself," the second in command sighed, rolling his eyes.
"Okay!"
A few days later, a party of adventurers arrived in Sanctuary, eager to help cure the sleeping dragon and recieve a large lump of gold for their efforts.
The party was lead by a very polite changeling rogue by the name of Lace. They greeted the captain, his guards and the kingdom's subjects with a warm smile.
"As the narrator said, my name is Lace," they said. "This is my partner, Leather the Violent." Lace gestured to the imp barbarian that stood next to them, armed with a metal folding chair.
He grumbled out a greeting.
"He's actually very sweet."
"This is Gob-Gob the Thirsty." Lace motioned their hand toward a goblin bard who's instrument of choice was the electric triangle, powered by no less than three lightning bugs. "He will try to seduce you... but don't worry, he's not very good at it."
True to his nature, Gob-Gob addressed the crowd with a smile full of crooked teeth, clicking his tongue and shooting finger guns at everyone.
"And this is Blos- Wait, where did she go?" Lace stared at the empty space beside them before looking out at the crowd. "Sorry, has anyone seen a dryad with pink cameillas growing out of her head?"
"She's over here!"
The crowd parted to reveal the aforementioned dryad. She was knelt down, petting someone's goat. "That's Blossom, our druid," Lace said. "She's easily distracted, sorry about that." The changeling took out a ring of keys and jangled them to get Blossom's attention. "Blossom, look, keys!"
"Ooo, I love keys!" Blossom cooed before prancing back to her party.
"Anyway, we'll get started on trying to wake your dragon, if you don't mind."
"Right this way," the captain of the guard said, gesturing for the party to follow him. Enough time had been wasted already.
Over the next few days, Lace and her party tried everything they could think of to wake Zen. Gob-Gob banged two trashcan lids together next to Zen's ears but failed to wake her. Instead, he managed to create a new kind of music and then ended up in a polycule with the trashcan lids.
Leather ended up causing a brawl in the hallway outside of Zen's chamber, taking down three castle guards with his metal chair finishing move but the commotion went unnoticed by the dragon. The imp did end up spending some time in the dungeon though.
Lace attempted to wake Zen by shaking her shoulders and tickling her sides but to no avail. They even went as far as brushing a feather against the dragon's nose but that only got them a face full of smoke.
And Blossom, well, she forgot what she was supposed to be doing and instead used her magic to bless the gardens and farms across the kingdom. It did nothing to help Zen but the kingdom became much greener and no one would ever go hungry again so it wasn't a total loss.
"Unfortunately, I'm out of ideas," Lace told the captain. "That's one stubborn sleeping curse."
"Are you sure there's nothing else you can do?" The captain asked. "She'll waste away if we can't wake her and we need her fire for our heating system."
"I understand. Hm..." Lace rubbed their chin with their hand before a lightbulb literally appeared over their had, popping and vanishing a moment later.
"I know! There's one more member of our party we could call."
"There is?? Why weren't they here in the first place?"
"They're visiting family in the Faewild and we didn't want to disturb them but now I feel it's necessary." Lace began to rummage in their pack before pulling out a raptor shaped whistle. When they blew into it, the Jurassic park raptor noise echoed through the kingdom.
"...your other party member is a dinosaur?" The captain asked, pulling nervously at his collar.
"Yeah! Rawr is our cleric. Oh, don't look so nervous, Rawr is a-roar-able and very sweet. There's no need to worry."
A glowing pink portal opened up beside the castle gates and outstepped Rawr. The lingering crowd parted for them, staring in awe as they passed.
Rawr let out a few roars and Lace translated. "They're happy to help! They want to inspect Zen first."
"...uh, okay, right this way."
After a thorough inspection, Rawr looked at the captain again and roared once more, Lace translated. "They said that they need the petals of a bloody flower, the whiskers of a stray cat, a pearl, and some hair from the one who cast the spell."
The captain frowned in defeat. "I'm not sure we can get all those things... I have no idea where to get a bloody flower from. We don't have stray animals in the kingdom... The closest might be the king's cat, Princess, because she likes to wander. The king might have a pearl... But my guards are still trying to apprehend Nightshade.
"Blossom could summon a bloody flower," Lace offered. "See if you can get whiskers from Princess and a pearl from the king. Rawr will go see if they can aid your guards. Where were they last seen?"
"They chased Nightshade to Ynderhelm but haven't been able to get into the hold since they aren't dwarfs or have honorary dwarf status."
"That's no problem! Rawr is good friends with Ynderhelm's king. They'll return with that scoundrel post haste!"
Another pink portal opened up and Rawr was gone. The captain let out a sigh of relief. "I'll get those whiskers and pearl asap."
"And I'll get Blossom to focus on the flower," Lace smiled.
After they parted ways, the captain managed to track down Princess, who, for once was asleep in the king's bedchamber. The king was passed out from another drunken night, his bed full of water nymphs, and the captain used that to his advantage, stealing a pearl from the king's royal jewelry box. He also found a few shed whiskers on Princess's cat bed and took those, glad he didn't have to pull them off her.
Thirty minutes later, Lace met the captain outside of Zen's chamber. The changeling looked a little tired but triumphantly held up the petals of a bloody rose which stained their hands a beet red. "It took a few tries but I got it. Did you get the whiskers and the pearl?"
"I did." The captain confirmed, holding up both things.
"Good, Rawr should be back any minute."
A pink glow filled the hallway as a new portal opened up. "Ah good, there they are now."
Rawr stepped through the portal first, followed by the captain's guards who restrained a squirming demon.
Nightshade shouted curses in Infernal. "I know my rights! This is excessive force!"
"You also have the right to remain silent and yet you don't use it." One of the very tired guards grumbled as the portal closed behind them.
Rawr stepped close and snipped off some of Nightshade's long black hair with their talons.
"Noooo my hair! My beautiful hair, you've ruined it!" The demon cried.
The captain rolled his eyes and waved his guards away. "Take him to the dungeon... And put him with Leather. Maybe that'll shut him up."
As the guards hauled the still screeching demon away, Lace and the captain handed the rest of the ingredients over to Rawr. The dino whipped out their portable potion making kit. The ingredients were all crushed with a pestle and mortar before being mixed with a bit of water and a drop of honey. When the potion turned a bright yellow, Rawr poured it into an old perfume bottle with one of those squishy pumps.
"They're very dexterous for a dino," the captain commented.
"Very much so," Lace agreed, taking the perfume bottle from Rawr.
They handed it to the captain as Rawr roared the directions for Lace to translate. "Spray this into Zen's face and it should wake her up."
The three of them then went into Zen's chambers where the dragon still lay sleeping. The captain said a quick prayer to the gods before squishing the pump of the perfume bottle, spraying Zen's face with the potion that smelled lightly like lemons for some reason.
The trio watched, holding their breath, as the potion absorbed into Zen's scales. At first there was nothing but just before their hope died, the dragon began to stir. She shifted about on her bed of silk pillows and yawned. Upon opening her eyes, she smiled sleepily at the captain.
"Oh, good morning, captain. Who are your friends?"
"I'll explain later, right now you have to come with me so everyone knows you're awake."
"Oh dear, did I oversleep again? Everyone must be so worried."
When the captain, the adventurers, and Zen came outside, the still lingering crowd erupted into a chorus of cheers. "Zen's awake! She's awake! Hip hip hooray!!"
"Oh dear, I really did oversleep! How long was I out?"
"A few days. A demon cast a sleeping spell on you so we called these adventurers here to help wake you. They also helped us apprehend him," the captain explained.
"Oh I remember now! That scoundrel had the nerve to break into my personal chambers and spray something in my face."
"Speaking of... We need to decide how to punish him. We all know the king won't bother with it."
The crowd raised their pitchforks and lit their torches again, their desire for vengeance reignited.
"Let's boil him in oil!"
"No, tar and feather him!"
"No no, draw and quarter him!"
"No, no, no, Zen should eat him!"
The captain shook his head. "No, that will give Zen terrible heartburn."
"He'd taste nasty too," Zen added.
Then the town crier piped in, shouting once more at full volume. "Send him to the Shadow Realm!!"
The crowd paused, looking at each other as they considered the idea. After some conferring they all agreed that the Shadow Realm was indeed to best place for Nightshade. "Yes! The Shadow Realm!" They shouted in unison.
"The verdict is in. Shadow Realm it is!" The captain motioned to his guards and they brought Nightshade out from the dungeon, followed by Leather. The demon had a few bumps and bruises from being beaten with a metal folding chair. He was brought before the captain who raised his hand and shouted. "You're banned!" as he banished Nightshade to the Shadow Realm with a beam of darkness.
Wiping his brow, the captain sighed. "Well, now that's done our adventurers need their payment."
The second-in-command brought out a large treasure chest and gave it to Lace and their friends. The rest of the day was spent partying to celebrate the kingdom being saved and they all lived happily ever after.
The end.