Madam Ruth's Apothecary and Assundries
Consumer Complaints Division
3401 Vine St. New York, NY 10001
Dear Mr. Leiber,
We appreciate your inquiry and complaint related to our product LP9. After conducting a thorough inquiry we were able to confirm that small batch #3407, from which your purchase originated, was in fact a mislabeled batch of LP6.
LP6 was originally tested for use by women facing legal action from local law enforcement, and was designed to enhance their charisma and increase probability of avoiding charges. It was never intended for use by men, which may be why you experienced the unusual side effects that you mentioned.
The product LP9 is typically very effective in boosting masculine attractiveness to the female demographic, which we understand was your intention at the time of purchase.
In light of the complications resulting from your use of our product we have enclosed a check for the full refund price. You have our sincerest apologies, though we are glad to hear that you were able to make a love connection in spite of our error.
Best wishes to you and Officer Stoller as you embark on your life together.
Madam Ruth
M. Ruth, Owner and Proprietor
Consumer Complaints Division
3401 Vine St. New York, NY 10001
Dear Mr. Leiber,
We appreciate your inquiry and complaint related to our product LP9. After conducting a thorough inquiry we were able to confirm that small batch #3407, from which your purchase originated, was in fact a mislabeled batch of LP6.
LP6 was originally tested for use by women facing legal action from local law enforcement, and was designed to enhance their charisma and increase probability of avoiding charges. It was never intended for use by men, which may be why you experienced the unusual side effects that you mentioned.
The product LP9 is typically very effective in boosting masculine attractiveness to the female demographic, which we understand was your intention at the time of purchase.
In light of the complications resulting from your use of our product we have enclosed a check for the full refund price. You have our sincerest apologies, though we are glad to hear that you were able to make a love connection in spite of our error.
Best wishes to you and Officer Stoller as you embark on your life together.
Madam Ruth
M. Ruth, Owner and Proprietor
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