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Character(s) R4vens's Little Community (My OC's)
- Thread starter r4vens
- Start date
- Watchers 1
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Character(s) R4vens's Little Community (My OC's)
personality
Although Julian may come across initially as cold and quiet he can actually be incredibly loyal and intelligent when he applies himself. He is guarded because of his past but he also has a massive capacity for love. When he falls in love with someone, he falls hard, even if he sometimes has a difficult time expressing those emotions.
LOVES
⠀— Being Creative, Gaming, CatsHATES
⠀— Crowded Spaces, Insincerity, Being Yelled Atappearance
HEIGHT
⠀•⠀5' 6"WEIGHT
⠀•⠀132 lbsHAIR
⠀•⠀Light Ash BrownEYES
⠀•⠀Light BlueSPECIES
⠀•⠀HumanPHYSIQUE
⠀•⠀Skinny with some lean muscles.FEATURES
⠀•⠀Pale skin; gently styled hair; typically has dark circles under his eyes because of struggles with sleep; sharp cheekbones; soft eyes.WARDROBE
⠀•⠀Usually wearing tracksuits and other comfortable clothing and it's rare for Julian to dress up. He wears baseball caps sometimes. He typically can be found with a pack of cigarettes in his jacket pocket.CELEB LOOKALIKE
⠀•⠀Louis Tomlinsonbackground
tw: mentions of suicide, self-harm, mental health struggles, homophobic rhetoric
Childhood—
tw: mentions of child neglect, alcoholism, depression
Julian Dean Holt grew up in a rough-and-tumble part of Northern England, subjected to many things a child should never be. He lived in a lower-class household, often having to adapt to living without necessities; things he had thought at the time that many of his friends were privileged enough to receive. Over time he always struggled to keep friends because he was the odd one out, the really poor kid. Anytime his new friends caught wind that he was poor he would notice them start to drift away—or worse, flat out told him they didn't want to be his friend. The one kids would look at and wonder why he didn't get new shoes when his toes were practically sticking out the end of them; nor have a properly warm coat in the winter. The only solace Julian could find in his younger years was the fantasy world created in reading and drawing, often stowed away in his room, escaping his reality.
The clothing wasn't the worst of his experience; Julian also often had to go without adequate amounts of food nor nutrition. His parents, in his eyes, were really trying but they often just were too tired to work. In reality they were both heavy alcoholics and struggled to keep basic jobs because of it. This wasn't always the case but it was for most of his childhood; his parents' relapsed into alcohol addiction started when he was about six years old. Unfortunately in many ways Julian fell through the cracks of all the social systems in place and his neglectful house situation was never intervened upon. When he was about 12 years old he started to do odd jobs of work on the side; babysitting the neighbours' kids, mowing people's' lawns, raking leaves; he did anything he could to make a bit of extra money to have some stability in his life.
Teenage Years—
By 16 he had dropped out of his secondary school; he needed to so he could survive. By then, his parents struggles with addiction were completely off the rails.
Julian never could figure out which manifested first, his depression or the emotionally crippling anxiety that terrorized his daily existence. His anxiety developed into panic attacks, initially rare but eventually he was having at least three a week. Julian found it increasingly difficult to act and function normally at school; it felt impossible for him to focus. His parents never seemed to understand his mental health issues, often brushing them off and chalking it up to him "being a moody teenager that just wanted attention."
Julian went his entire childhood and formative years untreated for his mental health issues and fought tooth-and-nail with his panic attacks. Most days he’d have to excuse himself to the bathroom to suffer a panic attack as silently as he could in one of the stalls. A lot of days he ended up skipping class altogether because he truly felt he wouldn’t be alive much longer anyway so his education didn’t matter. He usually felt excluded and ignored during school, most of the other students never quite understood his issues.
His parents were often neglectful by ignoring his existence, or so it felt. Julian’s mental health worsened, feeling entirely useless to the world. On top of it all, something deep inside of him was struggling to accept his sexuality. He knew he wasn’t straight but his conscious mind found it impossible to accept. The tipping point of his own self-hatred was the day Jennifer, a fellow student, gossiped to all their classmates about him supposedly having a crush on her boyfriend.
Once the word that he might be homosexual spread through his school Julian felt entirely hopeless, worthless and disgusting. It didn’t help that Julian’s parents had often been open about their distaste for gay people and, ashamed of his sexuality, he pushed his true identity down as far as he could. He vehemently denied being gay and even got suspended twice for getting into fist-fights with other homophobic students that targeted him.
At seventeen years old Julian tried to commit suicide by hanging himself, finding the combination of his self-hatred from his mental health issues and the neglect he felt at home was all too much to bear. Before he could properly go through with it his father found him, having returned home early from work that day. It was then that Julian’s parents really realized how severe his problems were and they were entirely cold to him about the incident. He was immediately shipped off to the hospital, being held at the psych ward against his will.
He begged his parents not to send him away but they completely disregarded his wishes. Julian felt betrayed and in that moment he vowed to never let his parents into his life again. While in the hospital he was prescribed an antidepressant called Klonopin and scheduled for regular counselling sessions. For a while, the combination seemed to dull his stress levels, but eventually the medication began making him feel overwhelmingly numb. By the time Julian had left the hospital, he prayed and pleaded to God that things would improve.
He wanted nothing more than to feel normal, something he hadn’t experienced from what he could remember. When he was discharged from the hospital he was eighteen and had lost a year of his youth that he could never get back. Julian had to retake his last year of high-school at his city’s local college, trying his hardest to make up for lost time and opportunities. His medication wasn’t improving his mental health as much as he felt it was just bandaging it; Julian felt so numb he couldn’t even cry at regular things anymore.
That’s when he learned about the concept of self-harm from one of his acquaintances after asking about her scars. Julian fell into a spiral of cutting just to cope with his numbness. As he has aged and grown Julian has managed to slow down on how often he self-harms but when he’s feeling really overwhelmed he caves into the cravings on occasion. He slowly weaned himself off of Klonopin, deciding it wasn’t helping as much as it was hurting.
Childhood—
tw: mentions of child neglect, alcoholism, depression
Julian Dean Holt grew up in a rough-and-tumble part of Northern England, subjected to many things a child should never be. He lived in a lower-class household, often having to adapt to living without necessities; things he had thought at the time that many of his friends were privileged enough to receive. Over time he always struggled to keep friends because he was the odd one out, the really poor kid. Anytime his new friends caught wind that he was poor he would notice them start to drift away—or worse, flat out told him they didn't want to be his friend. The one kids would look at and wonder why he didn't get new shoes when his toes were practically sticking out the end of them; nor have a properly warm coat in the winter. The only solace Julian could find in his younger years was the fantasy world created in reading and drawing, often stowed away in his room, escaping his reality.
The clothing wasn't the worst of his experience; Julian also often had to go without adequate amounts of food nor nutrition. His parents, in his eyes, were really trying but they often just were too tired to work. In reality they were both heavy alcoholics and struggled to keep basic jobs because of it. This wasn't always the case but it was for most of his childhood; his parents' relapsed into alcohol addiction started when he was about six years old. Unfortunately in many ways Julian fell through the cracks of all the social systems in place and his neglectful house situation was never intervened upon. When he was about 12 years old he started to do odd jobs of work on the side; babysitting the neighbours' kids, mowing people's' lawns, raking leaves; he did anything he could to make a bit of extra money to have some stability in his life.
Teenage Years—
By 16 he had dropped out of his secondary school; he needed to so he could survive. By then, his parents struggles with addiction were completely off the rails.
Julian never could figure out which manifested first, his depression or the emotionally crippling anxiety that terrorized his daily existence. His anxiety developed into panic attacks, initially rare but eventually he was having at least three a week. Julian found it increasingly difficult to act and function normally at school; it felt impossible for him to focus. His parents never seemed to understand his mental health issues, often brushing them off and chalking it up to him "being a moody teenager that just wanted attention."
Julian went his entire childhood and formative years untreated for his mental health issues and fought tooth-and-nail with his panic attacks. Most days he’d have to excuse himself to the bathroom to suffer a panic attack as silently as he could in one of the stalls. A lot of days he ended up skipping class altogether because he truly felt he wouldn’t be alive much longer anyway so his education didn’t matter. He usually felt excluded and ignored during school, most of the other students never quite understood his issues.
His parents were often neglectful by ignoring his existence, or so it felt. Julian’s mental health worsened, feeling entirely useless to the world. On top of it all, something deep inside of him was struggling to accept his sexuality. He knew he wasn’t straight but his conscious mind found it impossible to accept. The tipping point of his own self-hatred was the day Jennifer, a fellow student, gossiped to all their classmates about him supposedly having a crush on her boyfriend.
Once the word that he might be homosexual spread through his school Julian felt entirely hopeless, worthless and disgusting. It didn’t help that Julian’s parents had often been open about their distaste for gay people and, ashamed of his sexuality, he pushed his true identity down as far as he could. He vehemently denied being gay and even got suspended twice for getting into fist-fights with other homophobic students that targeted him.
At seventeen years old Julian tried to commit suicide by hanging himself, finding the combination of his self-hatred from his mental health issues and the neglect he felt at home was all too much to bear. Before he could properly go through with it his father found him, having returned home early from work that day. It was then that Julian’s parents really realized how severe his problems were and they were entirely cold to him about the incident. He was immediately shipped off to the hospital, being held at the psych ward against his will.
He begged his parents not to send him away but they completely disregarded his wishes. Julian felt betrayed and in that moment he vowed to never let his parents into his life again. While in the hospital he was prescribed an antidepressant called Klonopin and scheduled for regular counselling sessions. For a while, the combination seemed to dull his stress levels, but eventually the medication began making him feel overwhelmingly numb. By the time Julian had left the hospital, he prayed and pleaded to God that things would improve.
He wanted nothing more than to feel normal, something he hadn’t experienced from what he could remember. When he was discharged from the hospital he was eighteen and had lost a year of his youth that he could never get back. Julian had to retake his last year of high-school at his city’s local college, trying his hardest to make up for lost time and opportunities. His medication wasn’t improving his mental health as much as he felt it was just bandaging it; Julian felt so numb he couldn’t even cry at regular things anymore.
That’s when he learned about the concept of self-harm from one of his acquaintances after asking about her scars. Julian fell into a spiral of cutting just to cope with his numbness. As he has aged and grown Julian has managed to slow down on how often he self-harms but when he’s feeling really overwhelmed he caves into the cravings on occasion. He slowly weaned himself off of Klonopin, deciding it wasn’t helping as much as it was hurting.
miscellaneous
“The Defender (ISFJ) personality type is quite unique, as many of their qualities defy the definition of their individual traits. Though sensitive, Defenders have excellent analytical abilities; though reserved, they have well-developed people skills and robust social relationships; and though they are generally a conservative type, Defenders are often receptive to change and new ideas. As with so many things, people with the Defender personality type are more than the sum of their parts, and it is the way they use these strengths that defines who they are.” —16Personalities
“Virgos are always paying attention to the smallest details and their deep sense of humanity makes them one of the most careful signs of the zodiac. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance, and although they are often tender, their heart might be closed for the outer world. This is a sign often misunderstood, not because they lack the ability to express, but because they won’t accept their feelings as valid, true, or even relevant when opposed to reason. The symbolism behind the name speaks well of their nature, born with a feeling they are experiencing everything for the first time.” —astrology-zodiac-signs
“Virgos are always paying attention to the smallest details and their deep sense of humanity makes them one of the most careful signs of the zodiac. Their methodical approach to life ensures that nothing is left to chance, and although they are often tender, their heart might be closed for the outer world. This is a sign often misunderstood, not because they lack the ability to express, but because they won’t accept their feelings as valid, true, or even relevant when opposed to reason. The symbolism behind the name speaks well of their nature, born with a feeling they are experiencing everything for the first time.” —astrology-zodiac-signs
ZODIAC
⠀•⠀VirgoDOM. HAND
⠀•⠀LeftVICE
⠀•⠀High-strung, Insecure, GuardedALIGNMENT
⠀•⠀Neutral GoodMBTI
⠀•⠀ISFJ The DefenderVIRTUE
⠀•⠀Kind, Clever, Loyal⠀
⠀
Afraid
The Neighbourhood
⠀
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