- Local time
- Today 8:10 PM
- Messages
- 104
- Age
- 41
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"On the line now we have Kevin, from Seatle."
The bombastic voice called out over the radio with a small delay. Turning down the radio dial, Kevin cleared his throat.
"Hey there Kpax!"
"Welcome to the Fourth Wall Radio show here on K-SOL 42.0 FM. What did you have for us Kevin?"
"Well, Kpax, long-time listener, first-time caller. I'm just sitting here in my cubicle on the third floor of an office park in Bellevue, staring at a multifunction printer that refuses to stop jamming, and I honestly feel like my entire existence is being orchestrated by a malfunctioning simulation."
The K-SOL studio erupted in chaos as inteligence agents were frantically pulling out code books, cross refferencing code names of sleeper agents and their mission logs.
"I hear you Kevin, dealing with printers remains a bitch!'
Getting the report for the Cephaloid-7 named Gargax, Kpax cursed, this was really really bad. The tentacle alien had been send to the higher echelons of humanity to see if they had any counter messures in place, in preparation for alien invation, and the jamming printer line, was a code to designate that the humans were not only aware of their attempt, but also had effective countermeasures in place against them. Running through the file, the Spook spotted the control question he needed to ask their asset.
"But surely there are worse things in the world."
For a moment Kevin was silent and the whole station was waiting breathlessly for the answer.
"Sure it's not like I am getting called all the time about extending my extended warranty!
Kpax cursed, almost 80 years of work down the drain with nothing left to show for it. From that dreadful landing in Roswell to now.. He sighed as his co-workers were already starting to destroy all the proof ot their existance.
"Well Kev, you know what you have to do."
With that Kpax closed the line and started playing "Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa signalling the milions of aliens spread all over the world, that it was time to bugger off.
Kevin frowned as the line went dead, but he guessed he did know what the normaly so talkative Kpax meant when he ended the call so abruptly. Walking to the printer, Kevin, digging up all of his frustrations about his dead end job and failed marriage, the office manager delivered a powerfull kick to the rebel printer and to his deligh he heard the humming of the printer actually doing its job.
"Don't show up, don't come outDon't start caring about me now..."
Dua Lipa’s bassline thrummed through the monitors of K-SOL 42.0 FM, masking the sound of industrial paper shredders and burning hard drives.
Across the globe, in suburban kitchens, corporate breakrooms, and tractor-trailer cabs, millions of synthetic skin suits unzipped in unison. Seventy-nine years of infiltrating PTA boards, local governments, and mid-tier accounting firms—all abruptly called off because of a paper jam in Bellevue.
The bombastic voice called out over the radio with a small delay. Turning down the radio dial, Kevin cleared his throat.
"Hey there Kpax!"
"Welcome to the Fourth Wall Radio show here on K-SOL 42.0 FM. What did you have for us Kevin?"
"Well, Kpax, long-time listener, first-time caller. I'm just sitting here in my cubicle on the third floor of an office park in Bellevue, staring at a multifunction printer that refuses to stop jamming, and I honestly feel like my entire existence is being orchestrated by a malfunctioning simulation."
The K-SOL studio erupted in chaos as inteligence agents were frantically pulling out code books, cross refferencing code names of sleeper agents and their mission logs.
"I hear you Kevin, dealing with printers remains a bitch!'
Getting the report for the Cephaloid-7 named Gargax, Kpax cursed, this was really really bad. The tentacle alien had been send to the higher echelons of humanity to see if they had any counter messures in place, in preparation for alien invation, and the jamming printer line, was a code to designate that the humans were not only aware of their attempt, but also had effective countermeasures in place against them. Running through the file, the Spook spotted the control question he needed to ask their asset.
"But surely there are worse things in the world."
For a moment Kevin was silent and the whole station was waiting breathlessly for the answer.
"Sure it's not like I am getting called all the time about extending my extended warranty!
Kpax cursed, almost 80 years of work down the drain with nothing left to show for it. From that dreadful landing in Roswell to now.. He sighed as his co-workers were already starting to destroy all the proof ot their existance.
"Well Kev, you know what you have to do."
With that Kpax closed the line and started playing "Don't Start Now" by Dua Lipa signalling the milions of aliens spread all over the world, that it was time to bugger off.
Kevin frowned as the line went dead, but he guessed he did know what the normaly so talkative Kpax meant when he ended the call so abruptly. Walking to the printer, Kevin, digging up all of his frustrations about his dead end job and failed marriage, the office manager delivered a powerfull kick to the rebel printer and to his deligh he heard the humming of the printer actually doing its job.
"Don't show up, don't come outDon't start caring about me now..."
Dua Lipa’s bassline thrummed through the monitors of K-SOL 42.0 FM, masking the sound of industrial paper shredders and burning hard drives.
Across the globe, in suburban kitchens, corporate breakrooms, and tractor-trailer cabs, millions of synthetic skin suits unzipped in unison. Seventy-nine years of infiltrating PTA boards, local governments, and mid-tier accounting firms—all abruptly called off because of a paper jam in Bellevue.