Necca
Salty Dog
Hey, you!
Yes, you. You good-looking survivor, you. With your scars and ripped clothes and sweat beads and dirt-and-blood-stained everything.
You might want to read what I have to say!
You should join us. We've got a farm. We've got a big old farmhouse with a big basement, a barn, two sheds, crops, a puppy, three cats, big tents, and a badass barbed wire fence that was meant to keep the deer out. Now it keeps the zombies out. Oh, and we're also near these old gasoline tanks that nobody's claimed or blown up yet, so we can actually drive around. I think they used to be kept by the government, but since there's not really a government anymore, we've taken it for ourselves. The best part of having gas? We have cars souped up for zombie killing. And we're trying to rescue as many living people as we can.
So come and join us! There are directions to the farmhouse on the other side of this note. We'll also be doing a pickup at the old KFC on Main Street at noon this coming Thursday. We've got wheels, so you just need to show up.
Hope to see you there!
All our best,
Your friendly neighborhood Zombie Defense Force
* * *
The Sales Pitch:
Tired of self-important zombie stories that think they're cutting commentary on the darkness of human nature? Ever want to minimize the "humans are the REAL monsters" drama and substitute it with good old fashioned zombie slaying? Do you enjoy comedies like Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland? Have you ever had discussions into the wee morning hours detailing the exact steps you'd take in the event of a zombiepocalypse and actually been serious about it? Have you studied your copy of Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide like an overzealous boy scout studies a field manual?
If you answered "Aw, hell's yeah!" to any of these questions, you're EXACTLY what we're looking for!
Welcome to the ZDF, the Zombie Defense Force, a zombie comedy set one year after Z Day. Join a ragtag group of misfits (6 RPers) as we tend to our awesome home base, rescue survivors, and kick some zombie ass.
Tired of self-important zombie stories that think they're cutting commentary on the darkness of human nature? Ever want to minimize the "humans are the REAL monsters" drama and substitute it with good old fashioned zombie slaying? Do you enjoy comedies like Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland? Have you ever had discussions into the wee morning hours detailing the exact steps you'd take in the event of a zombiepocalypse and actually been serious about it? Have you studied your copy of Max Brooks' The Zombie Survival Guide like an overzealous boy scout studies a field manual?
If you answered "Aw, hell's yeah!" to any of these questions, you're EXACTLY what we're looking for!
Welcome to the ZDF, the Zombie Defense Force, a zombie comedy set one year after Z Day. Join a ragtag group of misfits (6 RPers) as we tend to our awesome home base, rescue survivors, and kick some zombie ass.
Form:
The storyline will be broken up into "missions," meaning every few weeks the group will have new objectives to achieve. These can be planned via site conversations, chat, etc.
The storyline will be broken up into "missions," meaning every few weeks the group will have new objectives to achieve. These can be planned via site conversations, chat, etc.
The Vibe:
Light and breezy, with as much funny as we can muster. This is going in Poe's Corner, so the R-rated comedy is a-ok. Gore, juvenile shenanigans, potty humor, and awkward moments are wholly encouraged.
Light and breezy, with as much funny as we can muster. This is going in Poe's Corner, so the R-rated comedy is a-ok. Gore, juvenile shenanigans, potty humor, and awkward moments are wholly encouraged.
To Join:
Send me (Necca) a conversation message using the character template below. Once I've received 5 messages with solid character sheets, I'll start up the thread and initiate a group conversation.
Character Template:
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Pre-Z-Day Occupation:
Appearance/ Physical Characteristics:
Personality:
Likes:
Loathes:
Finds Annoying:
Finds Endearing:
2-3 Paragraphs of Funny Writing:
Example:
Name: Jack Murton
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Pre-Z-Day Occupation(s): Ice Cream Truck Driver, Substitute Teacher (English)
Role in Group: de facto Leader, Cook
Appearance/ Physical Characteristics: Jack stands 6'2" and has shed a considerable amount of weight since Z-Day, now weighing 210 lbs even. That's the exact height and weight of Batman, which he rarely shuts up about if given the opportunity. His light brown hair has sandy highlights from working the farm, and his hazel eyes are friendly and approachable. Thin eyebrows, a large, straight nose, and oddly feminine lips give him the air of an everyman.
Personality: Jack's an all-around decent guy. He's fairly extroverted, but needs his moments of quiet, too. He's helpful and selfless to a fault, and is nearly incapable of saying "no" if he thinks the results will be awkward or tense. Jack also apologizes for everything, even if he did nothing wrong. He's somehow become a de facto leader of the group, but always leaves the big decisions to someone else's advice.
Likes: Cooking, food, creating things, reading, driving, walking, hitting zombies with sticks, singing old Sinatra stuff, his ice cream truck Sally, writing the plots of his favorite TV shows for posterity's sake, shoes, the mellow smell of gasoline, cheese
Loathes: Assholes, "dude-bros," hornets, washing dishes, liars, really hot weather, screamo music, fixing plumbing, being nagged,
Finds Annoying: Barry Manilow, intellectual snobs that actually don't know very much, the sound of velcro, out of tune instruments, uncomfortable furniture, being interrupted repeatedly when in the middle of a project
Finds Endearing: Clumsiness, corny jokes, elaborate handshakes, dimples, easy laughter, happy endings, children's books, '90s nostalgia, singing in cars, kazoos, other people being tongue-tied
Vehicle (if applicable): Sally, a heavily modified ice cream truck that serves as a primary mode of transportation for the group. She has a turret gun mounted on the side window and a spiked snow shovel attached to her front
2-3 Paragraphs of Funny Writing:
Unenthusiastic moans greeted his ears as he descended the short step ladder from the quarterdeck to the main to find just two of his five crewmen slumbering in their own spittle. He kicked the nearest, a stocky lad of sixteen named Melvin, in the thigh. "Up, up, up!" The other, Barty, was an aging, leathery old sea dog with fewer teeth than fingers and a liver-spotted bald pate. He bolted upright when he heard the captain shouting, "That's better, gents. Now, where's everyone else?" Barty smiled toothlessly and nodded. Jance assumed the old man couldn't hear the question, as he'd been next to far too many firing cannons in his life. Melvin, on the other hand, stepped forward.
"Mr. Codbales told me to tell you that he told me to give this to you, and that you'd likely tell me you wanted to see it." The lad held forth a slip of paper. While none too bright and illiterate, he always meant well and had a heart of gold. "I told him I couldn't read it, and he said all the better."
Jance took the paper and unfolded it, suspecting the worst. He read it thoroughly, frowning. "Would you care for me to read this to you two?" Melvin nodded, Barty picked his nose. The captain sighed. "Right then, well this is about the worst bit of news we've had in a while." He cleared his throat and read. "Dear Captain, Melvin, and Barty. It is with sincere sadness that we are forced to leave your company, but a far better opportunity has presented itself that we'd be foolish not to take. To avoid a scene, in which we are certain the Captain would fire his flintlock in a murderous rampage while Melvin sobbed and Barty scratched his armpits, we left at dawn, well before you gents are known to wake. We've now joined the crew of a fine BTC merchantman that set sail promptly at 8 o'clock this morning, the name of which shall remain anonymous. We look forward to embarking upon this voyage, and wish you all the best. Sincerely, Codbales, Fritt, and MaGee."
/SPOILER]
Send me (Necca) a conversation message using the character template below. Once I've received 5 messages with solid character sheets, I'll start up the thread and initiate a group conversation.
Character Template:
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Pre-Z-Day Occupation:
Appearance/ Physical Characteristics:
Personality:
Likes:
Loathes:
Finds Annoying:
Finds Endearing:
2-3 Paragraphs of Funny Writing:
Example:
Name: Jack Murton
Age: 28
Gender: Male
Pre-Z-Day Occupation(s): Ice Cream Truck Driver, Substitute Teacher (English)
Role in Group: de facto Leader, Cook
Appearance/ Physical Characteristics: Jack stands 6'2" and has shed a considerable amount of weight since Z-Day, now weighing 210 lbs even. That's the exact height and weight of Batman, which he rarely shuts up about if given the opportunity. His light brown hair has sandy highlights from working the farm, and his hazel eyes are friendly and approachable. Thin eyebrows, a large, straight nose, and oddly feminine lips give him the air of an everyman.
Personality: Jack's an all-around decent guy. He's fairly extroverted, but needs his moments of quiet, too. He's helpful and selfless to a fault, and is nearly incapable of saying "no" if he thinks the results will be awkward or tense. Jack also apologizes for everything, even if he did nothing wrong. He's somehow become a de facto leader of the group, but always leaves the big decisions to someone else's advice.
Likes: Cooking, food, creating things, reading, driving, walking, hitting zombies with sticks, singing old Sinatra stuff, his ice cream truck Sally, writing the plots of his favorite TV shows for posterity's sake, shoes, the mellow smell of gasoline, cheese
Loathes: Assholes, "dude-bros," hornets, washing dishes, liars, really hot weather, screamo music, fixing plumbing, being nagged,
Finds Annoying: Barry Manilow, intellectual snobs that actually don't know very much, the sound of velcro, out of tune instruments, uncomfortable furniture, being interrupted repeatedly when in the middle of a project
Finds Endearing: Clumsiness, corny jokes, elaborate handshakes, dimples, easy laughter, happy endings, children's books, '90s nostalgia, singing in cars, kazoos, other people being tongue-tied
Vehicle (if applicable): Sally, a heavily modified ice cream truck that serves as a primary mode of transportation for the group. She has a turret gun mounted on the side window and a spiked snow shovel attached to her front
2-3 Paragraphs of Funny Writing:
Unenthusiastic moans greeted his ears as he descended the short step ladder from the quarterdeck to the main to find just two of his five crewmen slumbering in their own spittle. He kicked the nearest, a stocky lad of sixteen named Melvin, in the thigh. "Up, up, up!" The other, Barty, was an aging, leathery old sea dog with fewer teeth than fingers and a liver-spotted bald pate. He bolted upright when he heard the captain shouting, "That's better, gents. Now, where's everyone else?" Barty smiled toothlessly and nodded. Jance assumed the old man couldn't hear the question, as he'd been next to far too many firing cannons in his life. Melvin, on the other hand, stepped forward.
"Mr. Codbales told me to tell you that he told me to give this to you, and that you'd likely tell me you wanted to see it." The lad held forth a slip of paper. While none too bright and illiterate, he always meant well and had a heart of gold. "I told him I couldn't read it, and he said all the better."
Jance took the paper and unfolded it, suspecting the worst. He read it thoroughly, frowning. "Would you care for me to read this to you two?" Melvin nodded, Barty picked his nose. The captain sighed. "Right then, well this is about the worst bit of news we've had in a while." He cleared his throat and read. "Dear Captain, Melvin, and Barty. It is with sincere sadness that we are forced to leave your company, but a far better opportunity has presented itself that we'd be foolish not to take. To avoid a scene, in which we are certain the Captain would fire his flintlock in a murderous rampage while Melvin sobbed and Barty scratched his armpits, we left at dawn, well before you gents are known to wake. We've now joined the crew of a fine BTC merchantman that set sail promptly at 8 o'clock this morning, the name of which shall remain anonymous. We look forward to embarking upon this voyage, and wish you all the best. Sincerely, Codbales, Fritt, and MaGee."
/SPOILER]
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